Does anyone know of a sip softphone that can be controller by an API. Xlite can launch a call through command line interface, but thats pretty much it, preferably looking for something cheap, the voip SDKs iv seen are pretty expensive and i wouldn't have any knowledge of sip protocol or development.
You might want to look at the open source OPAL library which implements a complete SIP stack. The licence has few restrictions: it allows OPAL to be combined with proprietary code (but modifications to the OPAL library itself must be made available).
OPAL works under both Windows and Linux. I've used an earlier version to successfully add SIP call capability to a Windows application. It's used by the open source Ekiga (formerly GnomeMeeting) client.
The OPAL library includes a simple command line client called simpleOPAL that you may be able to use directly for simple calls, or you can use it as a starting point for a custom application. I was able to make calls to normal telephone lines using several commercial SIP/PSTN gateways using simpleOPAL, so it seems to interoperate fairly well.