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Has anyone written either a long or short program in COW that demonstrates what it can do? Sure, the language is a joke; but since it is Turing complete, maybe someone has written a high-level language that translates into COW. After writing a short, practical program that at least showed what you typed on the screen, one would think that someone has written a far more interesting application in the language.

MoOMOOmoOMooMooOOOmOomoo
A: 

DDX further increases the capabilities of COW, and when translated into EZ COW, it considerably easier to read. What follows is an EZ DDX COW program written with comments well interspersed into the code.

This is the first word.
N = M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++P++
U = M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++P++
M = M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++P++
  = M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++P++
= = M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++P++
  = M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++

Show the prompt.
P--P--P--P--P--
LOP
I/O
P++
END

Get and store the input.
INP
REG (or "wiz")
M=0
M++
S++

This is the second word.
D = M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++P++
I = M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++P++
V = M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++P++
  = M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++P++
= = M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++P++
  = M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
    M++M++M++M++M++M++M++

Show the prompt.
P--P--P--P--P--
LOP
I/O
P++
END

Get the input and setup for calculation.
INP
S++
M--
WIZ

Display the results.

(this stomach is no longer needed)
S--
M=0

(string)
M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++P++

M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++P++

M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
P++

M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++M++P++

M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++M++M++P++

M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++P++

M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++M++M++

P--P--P--P--P--P--

(print)
LOP
I/O
P++
END
S--
OUT
S++

(string)
M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++P++

M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++P++

M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++P++

M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++M++M++P++

M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++P++

M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++M++
M++M++M++M++M++M++

P--P--P--P--P--

(print)
LOP
I/O
P++
END
S++
OUT

What follows is a simple interpreter written in Python. It can take the "divide.cow" file listed above and run it quickly enough for live interation with the program. Other example COW programs are still welcomed!

INS = ['moo', 'mOo', 'moO', 'mOO', 'Moo', 'MOo',
       'MoO', 'MOO', 'OOO', 'MMM', 'OOM', 'oom',
       'MMm', 'MmM', 'Oom', 'oOm',
       'OoM', 'oOM', 'ooo', 'mmm']

HLP = dict((s, i) for i, s in enumerate(INS))

import sys
import msvcrt

################################################################################

class COD:

    def __init__(self, code):
        for ins in code:
            assert 0 <= ins < len(INS)
        self.cod = code
        self.pos = 0

    def get(self):
        return self.cod[self.pos]

    def inc(self):
        self.pos += 1
        if self.pos == len(self.cod):
            sys.exit()

    def dec(self):
        self.pos -= 1
        assert self.pos >= 0

################################################################################

class MEM:

    def __init__(self):
        self.mem = {}
        self.pos = 0

    def get(self):
        if self.pos in self.mem:
            return self.mem[self.pos]
        return 0

    def set(self, value):
        if value:
            self.mem[self.pos] = value
        elif self.pos in self.mem:
            del self.mem[self.pos]

    def inc(self):
        self.pos += 1

    def dec (self):
        self.pos -= 1

################################################################################

class DDX:

    STOMACHS = 7

    def __init__(self):
        self.mem = [MEM() for stomach in range(self.STOMACHS)]
        self.pos = 0

    def __getattr__(self, name):
        return getattr(self.mem[self.pos], name)

    def ddx_prv(self):
        self.pos = (self.pos - 1 + self.STOMACHS) % self.STOMACHS

    def ddx_nxt(self):
        self.pos = (self.pos + 1) % self.STOMACHS

    def ddx_dec(self):
        for stomach in self.mem:
            stomach.dec()

    def ddx_inc(self):
        for stomach in self.mem:
            stomach.inc()

    def ddx_sub(self):
        for stomach in self.mem:
            stomach.set(stomach.get() - 1)

    def ddx_add(self):
        for stomach in self.mem:
            stomach.set(stomach.get() + 1)

    def ddx_nul(self):
        for stomach in self.mem:
            stomach.set(0)

    def ddx_reg(self, reg):
        if reg is None:
            return sum(map(MEM.get, self.mem))
        else:
            all_zero = True
            for stomach in self.mem:
                if stomach.get():
                    all_zero = False
                    break
            if all_zero:
                for stomach in self.mem:
                    stomach.set(reg)
            else:
                weighting = sum(map(MEM.get, self.mem))
                base, remainder = divmod(reg, weighting)
                for stomach in self.mem:
                    temp = stomach.get()
                    if temp < 0:
                        stomach.set(abs(temp) * remainder)
                    else:
                        stomach.set(temp * base)
            return None


################################################################################

def parse(string):
    index = 0
    code = []
    ins = string[index:index+3]
    while len(ins) == 3:
        if ins in INS:
            code.append(INS.index(ins))
            index += 3
        else:
            index += 1
        ins = string[index:index+3]
    return tuple(code)

DECODE = ['END', 'P--', 'P++', 'EXE', 'I/O', 'M--',
          'M++', 'LOP', 'M=0', 'REG', 'OUT', 'INP',
          'S--', 'S++', 'AP-', 'AP+',
          'AM-', 'AM+', 'A=0', 'WIZ']

def decode(code):
    for ins in code:
        print(INS[ins] + '\t' + DECODE[ins])
    print()

def engine(code):
    global REG
    REG = None
    mem = DDX()
    cod = COD(code)
    ins = cod.get()
    while True:
        ins = run(mem, cod, ins)

def run(mem, cod, ins):
    global REG
    # INS - 0 - moo
    if ins == 0:
        cod.dec()
        cod.dec()
        # INIT
        level = 1
        temp = cod.get()
        if temp == HLP['moo']:
            level += 1
        elif temp == HLP['MOO']:
            level -= 1
        while level:
            # LOOP
            cod.dec()
            temp = cod.get()
            if temp == HLP['moo']:
                level += 1
            elif temp == HLP['MOO']:
                level -= 1
        return HLP['MOO']
    # INS - 1 - mOo
    elif ins == 1:
        mem.dec()
        cod.inc()
        return cod.get()
    # INS - 2 - moO
    elif ins == 2:
        mem.inc()
        cod.inc()
        return cod.get()
    # INS - 3 - mOO
    elif ins == 3:
        temp = mem.get()
        assert temp != 3
        if 0 <= temp < len(INS):
            return run(mem, cod, temp)
        else:
            sys.exit()
    # INS - 4 - Moo
    elif ins == 4:
        temp = mem.get()
        if temp:
            msvcrt.putch(bytes([temp & 127]))
        else:
            char = get_char()
            mem.set(char & 127)
        cod.inc()
        return cod.get()
    # INS - 5 - MOo
    elif ins == 5:
        mem.set(mem.get() - 1)
        cod.inc()
        return cod.get()
    # INS - 6 - MoO
    elif ins == 6:
        mem.set(mem.get() + 1)
        cod.inc()
        return cod.get()
    # INS - 7 - MOO
    elif ins == 7:
        temp = mem.get()
        if temp:
            cod.inc()
            return cod.get()
        else:
            cod.inc()
            cod.inc()
            # INIT
            level = 1
            temp = cod.get()
            if temp == HLP['moo']:
                level -= 1
            elif temp == HLP['MOO']:
                level += 1
            while level:
                # LOOP
                cod.inc()
                temp = cod.get()
                if temp == HLP['moo']:
                    level -= 1
                elif temp == HLP['MOO']:
                    level += 1
            cod.inc()
            return cod.get()
    # INS - 8 - OOO
    elif ins == 8:
        mem.set(0)
        cod.inc()
        return cod.get()
    # INS - 9 - MMM
    elif ins == 9:
        if REG is None:
            REG = mem.get()
        else:
            mem.set(REG)
            REG = None
        cod.inc()
        return cod.get()
    # INS - 10 - OOM
    elif ins == 10:
        print_int(mem.get())
        cod.inc()
        return cod.get()
    # INS - 11 - oom
    elif ins == 11:
        mem.set(get_int())
        cod.inc()
        return cod.get()
    # INS - 12 - MMm
    elif ins == 12:
        mem.ddx_prv()
        cod.inc()
        return cod.get()
    # INS - 13 - MmM
    elif ins == 13:
        mem.ddx_nxt()
        cod.inc()
        return cod.get()
    # INS - 14 - Oom
    elif ins == 14:
        mem.ddx_dec()
        cod.inc()
        return cod.get()
    # INS - 15 - oOm
    elif ins == 15:
        mem.ddx_inc()
        cod.inc()
        return cod.get()
    # INS - 16 - OoM
    elif ins == 16:
        mem.ddx_sub()
        cod.inc()
        return cod.get()
    # INS - 17 - oOM
    elif ins == 17:
        mem.ddx_add()
        cod.inc()
        return cod.get()
    # INS - 18 - ooo
    elif ins == 18:
        mem.ddx_nul()
        cod.inc()
        return cod.get()
    # INS - 19 - mmm
    elif ins == 19:
        REG = mem.ddx_reg(REG)
        cod.inc()
        return cod.get()
    # ERROR
    else:
        raise Exception('Bad instruction!')

def print_int(number):
    for char in str(number):
        msvcrt.putch(bytes([ord(char) & 127]))
    msvcrt.putch(b' ')

def get_char():
    while msvcrt.kbhit():
        msvcrt.getch()
    func = False
    char = msvcrt.getch()[0]
    if char in (0x00, 0xE0):
        func = True
    while func:
        msvcrt.getch()
        func = False
        char = msvcrt.getch()[0]
        if char in (0x00, 0xE0):
            func = True
    return char if char != 13 else 10

def get_int():
    while msvcrt.kbhit():
        msvcrt.getch()
    buff = ''
    char = chr(msvcrt.getch()[0])
    while char != '\r' or not buff:
        if '0' <= char <= '9':
            msvcrt.putch(bytes([ord(char) & 127]))
            buff += char
        char = chr(msvcrt.getch()[0])
    sys.stdout.write('\n')
    return int(buff)

################################################################################

def main():
    path = input('Run File: ') + '.cow'
    code = parse(open(path).read())
    decode(code)
    engine(code)

################################################################################

if __name__ == '__main__':
    INS, DECODE = DECODE, INS
    try:
        main()
    except SystemExit:
        input()
    except:
        import traceback
        input(traceback.format_exc())
Noctis Skytower