It takes being a better programmer to be a better OO programmer.
OO has been evolving over the years, and it has a lot to do with changing paradigms and technologies like n-tier architecture, garbage collection, Web Services, etc.. the kind of things you've already seen. There are fundamental principles such as maintainability, reusability, low coupling, KISS, DRY, Amdahl's law, etc. you have to learn, read, experience, and apply it yourself.
OO is not an end on its own, but rather a means to achieve programming solutions. Like games, sports, and arts, practices cannot be understood without principles; and principles cannot be understood without practices.
To be more specific, here are some of the skills that may make one a better programmer. Listen to the domain experts. Know how to write tests. Know how to design a GUI desktop software. Know how to persist data into database. Separate UI layer and logic layer. Know how to write a class that acts like a built-in class. Know how to write a graphical component that acts like a built-in component. Know how to design a client/server software. Know networking, security, concurrency, and reliability.
Design patterns, MVC, UML, Refactoring, TDD, etc. address many of the issues, often extending OO in creative ways. For example, to decouple UI layer dependencies from logic layer, an interface may be introduced to wrap the UI class. From pure object-oriented point of view, it may not make much sense, but it makes sense from the point of view of separation of UI layer and logic layer.
Finally, realizing the limitations of OO is important too. In modern application architecture, the purist data + logic view of OO doesn't always mesh very well. Data transfer object (Java, MS, Fowler) for example intentionally strips away logic part of the object to make it carry only the data. This way the object can turn itself into a binary data stream or XML/JSON. The logic part may be handled both at client and server side in some way.