I'm looking at the same two alternatives you are, gotts, for multiple projects.
So far, the best razor I've come up with to decide between them for a given project is whether I need to use Javascript. One existing system I'm looking to migrate is already written in Javascript, so its next version is likely to be done in node.js. Other projects will be done in some Erlang web framework because there is no existing code base to migrate.
Another consideration is that Erlang scales well beyond just multiple cores, it can scale to a whole datacenter. I don't see a built-in mechanism in node.js that lets me send another JS process a message without caring which machine it is on, but that's built right into Erlang at the lowest levels. If your problem isn't big enough to need multiple machines or if it doesn't require multiple cooperating processes, this advantage isn't likely to matter, so you should ignore it.
Erlang is indeed a deep pool to dive into. I would suggest writing a standalone functional program first before you start building web apps. An even easier first step, since you seem comfortable with Javascript, is to try programming JS in a more functional style. If you use jQuery or Prototype, you've already started down this path. Try bouncing between pure functional programming in Erlang or one of its kin (Haskell, F#, Scala...) and functional JS.
Once you're comfortable with functional programming, seek out one of the many Erlang web frameworks; you probably shouldn't be writing your app directly to something low-level like inets
at this late stage. Look at something like Nitrogen, for instance.