There is no optimal size. With a 32-bit process, there is only 4 GB of address space total, and usually only 2 GB is available for user mode processes. This 2 GB is then fragmented by code and data from the exe and DLL's, heap allocations, thread stacks, and so on. Given this, you will probably not find more than 1 GB of contigous space to map a file into memory.
The optimal number depends on your app, but I would be concerned mapping more than 512 MB into a 32-bit process. Even with limiting yourself to 512 MB, you might run into some issues depending on your application. Alternatively, if you can go 64-bit there should be no issues mapping multiple gigabytes of a file into memory - you address space is so large this shouldn't cause any issues.
You could use an API like VirtualQuery to find the largest contigous space - but then your actually forcing out of memory errors to occur as you are removing large amounts of address space.
EDIT: I just realized my answer is Windows specific, but you didn't which platform you are discussing. I presume other platforms have similar limiting factors for memory-mapped files.