For a start, you may need to step back and re-examine your schema. How did you end up with 10 million rows in the member table? Do you actually have 10 million members (it seems like a lot)?
I suspect (although I'm not sure) that you have less than 10 million members in which case your table will not be correctly structured. Please post the schema, that's the first step to us helping you out.
If you do have 10 million members, my advice is to make your application vendor-agnostic to begin with (i.e., standard SQL). Then, if you start running into problems, just toss out your current DBMS and replace it with a more powerful one.
Once you've established you have one that's suitable, then, and only then would I advise using vendor-specific stuff. Otherwise it will be a painful process to change.
BTW, 10 million rows is not really considered a big database table, at least not where I come from.
Beyond that, the following is important (not necessarily an exhaustive list but a good start).
- Design your tables for 3NF always. Once you identify performance problems, you can violate that rule provided you understand the consequences.
- Don't bother performance tuning during development, your queries are in a state of flux. Just accept the fact they may not run fast.
- Once the majority of queries are locked down, then start tuning your tables. Add whatever indexes speed up the selects, de-normalize and so forth.
- Tuning is not a set-and-forget operation (which is why we pay our DBAs so much). Continuously monitor performance and tune to suit.
- I prefer to keep my SQL standard to retain the ability to switch vendors at any time. But I'm pragmatic. Use vendor-specific stuff if it really gives you a boost. Just be aware of what you're losing and try to isolate the vendor-specific stuff as much as possible.
- People that use
"select * from ..."
when they don't need every column should be beaten into submission.
- Likewise those that select every row to filter out on the client side. The people that write our DBMS' aren't sitting around all day playing Solitaire, they know how to make queries run fast. Let the database do what it's best at. Filtering and aggregation is best done on the server side - only send what is needed across the wire.
- Generate your queries to be useful. Other than the DoD who require reports detailing every component of their aircraft carriers down to the nuts-and-bolts level, no-one's interested in reading your 1200-page report no matter how useful you think it may be. In fact, I don't think the DoD reads theirs either, but I wouldn't want some general chewing me out because I didn't deliver - those guys can be loud and they have a fair bit of sophisticated weaponry under their control.