It looks like I just found the answer for Silverlight 2...
Source Code for Silverlight 2 Runtime and SDK Controls
And I think that'll work for me for now. I should be able to go through the project and exclude all the unnecessary bits from the project and do a rebuild.
I'm still using Silverlight 2 but I will be switching to 3 in a couple months. And I can't seem to find the same thing for Silverlight 3. Maybe the source is not available yet for Silverlight 3?
UPDATE:
So I got this working after jumping through some hoops. At first I downloaded the source project from Microsoft and then just started removing stuff. But then I noticed that I couldn't build the solution. In fact I couldn't build an unmodified version of the solution either. I was getting errors about strong name verification. I tried unchecking strong name signing from the "Signing" section of the project properties but I got the same error. I even added the assembly to the strong name verification skip list and finally got past the error. But when I tried to include the new assembly in my Silverlight project and run it in a browser, I'd get a blank screen (the Silverlight control never loaded). I'm still not sure why but I'm sure I was missing something.
Finally I just created a fresh project. It seems I should've done this from the beginning. I just needed to create an empty C# Silverlight Class Library for the GridSplitter. Then I started adding the source files necessary for the GridSplitter to this project and then I set the namespace and assembly name to System.Windows.Controls. After building this project, and referencing it in my Silverlight app it finally worked. The result: a 60 KB savings.
I wrote a little more about this here:
http://regexhero.net/blog/2009/09/optimizing-silverlight-xap-file.html