Hi Jason.
Could you please paste your code? Because what you are asking can be simply achieved by placing DataGrid into a panel, which will not constrain its size and arrange it exactly within desired size of a control.
In other words, you can place it inside StackPanel with vertical orientation, and that's it:
<Window x:Class="WpfApplication5.Window1"
xmlns="http://schemas.microsoft.com/winfx/2006/xaml/presentation"
xmlns:x="http://schemas.microsoft.com/winfx/2006/xaml"
xmlns:dg="clr-namespace:Microsoft.Windows.Controls;assembly=WPFToolkit"
Title="Grid Sample"
Height="300"
Width="300">
<StackPanel>
<dg:DataGrid ItemsSource="{Binding}">
<dg:DataGrid.Columns>
<dg:DataGridTextColumn Header="No."
Width="SizeToCells"
Binding="{Binding CheckNumber}"
IsReadOnly="True" />
<dg:DataGridTextColumn Header="Date"
Binding="{Binding Date, StringFormat=d}" />
<dg:DataGridTextColumn Header="Pay To"
MinWidth="200"
Binding="{Binding Recipient}"
CanUserSort="False" />
</dg:DataGrid.Columns>
</dg:DataGrid>
</StackPanel>
</Window>