What's a programming answer you really hate to hear, yet give out yourself on many occasions?
For me, it's got to be "It depends...".
Now with certification: http://www.codinghorror.com/blog/archives/000818.html
Michael Burr
2008-10-03 20:21:50
I love it! ALL of my code should be certified with that! :-P
Optimal Solutions
2008-10-03 20:23:45
There's also: http://jcooney.net/images/articles/worksonmymachine_logo.png
Michael Burr
2008-10-03 20:25:20
Tried that 2nd URL you posted but got "Application Firewall Alert" from WebHost4Life.com I've seen that before - not sure if its my machine or the host's setup..
Optimal Solutions
2008-10-03 20:33:00
What can I say - it works on my machine. ::rimshot::
Michael Burr
2008-10-03 21:08:14
haha! Why did I know you might say that!? :-)
Optimal Solutions
2008-10-03 22:36:20
+3
A:
Focus on clarify and maintainability first, performance later. :-)
I hate to hear it because (even though I recognise the truth of the statement) there's a machine in my brain that just wants to optimise everything. :-)
P.S. I don't know who's been deleting the thread comments, but my point was that I renamed the post to reduce its chances of being closed again. Seriously, JaredPar, I'm doing you a favour. :-)
Chris Jester-Young
2008-10-03 20:18:07
@Robert: Same here. "The program behaves completely differently when optimizations are turned on." " [Closed as by design](https://connect.microsoft.com/VisualStudio/feedback/details/547423/c-compiler-optimization-bug-with-parameter-local-variable-and-memcpy) "
BlueRaja - Danny Pflughoeft
2010-04-29 16:04:03
I find this answer to be a particular pain point, because I used to work with a developer that said this ALL the time. Unfortunately, he was often wrong ;)
pearcewg
2008-10-03 20:28:11
As you noted, the more often a person says this, the less likely it's true.
Michael Burr
2008-10-03 22:54:07
+9
A:
"Did you read the documentation?" or "Look on Google"
If I hadn't done these already, I wouldn't be asking.
BlueVoid
2008-10-03 20:20:42
too many times the answer is on the first page of a relevant google search... the thing is, not everybody can search effectively
Mauricio Scheffer
2008-10-03 23:04:01
people don't read manuals, its that simple. I mean what percent of the stuff that you have bought, have you ever read the manual for? It not that different with documentation. If its not clear in the code, then its simply not clear at all IMHO.
Robert Gould
2008-10-04 01:18:07
Most people would rather ask a dumb question than dig up anything themselves.
Tomalak
2008-10-09 09:20:37
Googling for programming questions is often hard, particularly when the obvious search terms are dependant on punctuation which google will ignore
Mark Baker
2008-10-09 09:40:59
Sometimes people don't even know that there is a doc. @tomalak: when that happens, I just give them the shortest possible answer and immediately send them a reference to the location in the doc with a "there's some good explanations in there..."
Christopher Mahan
2009-02-21 09:08:32
This is just the image from the blog post. Which I stole from Jeff atwood.http://www.ademiller.com/blogs/tech/2008/06/it-works-on-my-machine-award/Credit where credit is due and all that...Ade
Ade Miller
2008-11-29 00:52:59
I assumed everybody here knows codinghorror's blog. :-) But you are right, the image is from Jeff's blog post.
Franci Penov
2008-12-05 01:00:27
I only find this annoying when it's not used in the following way: "It works on my machine, can you give me any extra info to find out where the bug is?"
Sukasa
2009-03-16 19:54:06
I learned to stop saying because my boss enjoyed replying: we're not shipping your machine.
Dinah
2009-09-11 17:03:09
+14
A:
"We're aware of the problem and it will be fixed in a future patch."
Robert S.
2008-10-03 20:23:10
+3
A:
Hey!! I am just a consultant. don't have access to the system for debugging.. :)
Gulzar
2008-10-03 20:23:24
+6
A:
"I can't look at that until you file a bug report."
"I can't start on that until the spec is finalized."
"I can't test until someone sets up a testing environment."
Kristopher Johnson
2008-10-03 20:24:37
I don't know about you, but when these and like phrases come out of my mouth it is because I was required by management to say them... What a putrid taste it leaves in mouth.
CrashCodes
2008-10-03 20:42:41
We force internal folks to file a bug report for a problem, and we like it that way, the tracking alone makes it much easier in the long run. This is particularly the case when you have to hand it off to someone else.
Kris Kumler
2008-10-03 20:56:14
Or you don't say that, then you get asked about what you're working on and you say, "No progress on that, but I did fix bug Foo that was bothering tech support all week!" "You weren't assigned to that, it wasn't a priority. Pleas try to focus on Blah."
Zan Lynx
2008-10-03 20:56:34
on the bug report: if I know the use is challenged, I'll send them an email detailing what they just complained about, and ask them to confirm. (trail) then I create the bug report for them. If the boss asks why I filed the bug report: I show the email. Users happy. Everybody else ok.
Christopher Mahan
2009-02-21 09:12:09
I usually say that so the user bother write something clear about the problem.
e-satis
2009-12-14 21:12:20
+17
A:
A total classic that a fellow Software Engineer of mine used to say is:
Drum roll please....
Of course it works! But no, I haven't tested it.
pearcewg
2008-10-03 20:27:11
Agreed. It becomes almost impossible to debug something when the symptoms disappear.
Jason Jackson
2008-10-03 20:33:58
Especially when you spend all day on the bug, then come in the next day and can't get it sto fail.... Then it shows up 2 weeks later and the process repeats...
Fry
2008-11-20 06:51:38
+3
A:
Once when I was arguing with a QA guy about a bug, I was surprised by his response..
"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you...blah blah"
Gulzar
2008-10-03 20:29:15
+22
A:
Are you using Internet Explorer? (for some of our older/contractor developed internal apps)
Marshall
2008-10-03 20:29:25
A:
"That will have to go on a separate work order. It's not in the functional specs."
I always hate to hear this for small and easy to add additions to apps - but I say it too.
fiveprime
2008-10-03 20:30:07
+11
A:
"This really needs a complete rewrite."
"This isn't the way I would have done it."
Kristopher Johnson
2008-10-03 20:31:29
It's not always that, often there's code that you wrote in a hurry for a limited problem, and has now grown into a monster. "This isnt' the way I'd have done it if I'd thought it was going to stay around"
Mark Baker
2008-10-09 09:42:20
+14
A:
"That's going away in a couple years anyway."
Hear it every day at my job.
bouvard
2008-10-03 20:36:00
+38
A:
When asking 'Is it done yet?' for progress report:
"It's practically done. I'm working on some final details, but it is practically complete."
And then find that it is not even code complete, full of bugs, not tested, not documented, not integrated, and probably not even checked into source control.
Of course, on the other side, just asking 'is it done yet?' every couple of days is not the best way of measuring progress.
Sergio Acosta
2008-10-03 21:13:28
+22
A:
"I wrote that a long time ago when I didn't know what I was doing."
Kevin Conner
2008-10-03 22:36:47
+2
A:
My colleague loves to say "I'm just an intern". Well at least now he's been contracted, he cannot use that one anymore.
schonarth
2008-10-03 22:37:21
+5
A:
"We don't have time to insert best practice here. We'll tackle this in the next insert sprint, release, iteration here."
As the saying goes, "... you must have time to do it again."
Russell Myers
2008-10-03 23:16:14
+3
A:
Ran into this one just today too:
"I'm not sure how this has ever worked!"
Wedge
2008-10-04 01:00:07
+6
A:
"That should be easy" spoken within earshot of a customer upon hearing a new feature request and prior to analysis.
MattMcKnight
2008-10-04 04:24:31
What difference does it make? The salesman's probably already told the customer it'll be easy long before you hear about it.
Mark Baker
2008-10-09 09:43:48
A:
The end user changed the defualts in web.config and it broke....
and its sister...
Dont change the default value, if we wanted it changed we would have made THAT the default value....
MikeJ
2008-10-04 11:47:13
+1
A:
Don't blame me. The guys over in building D changed the spec and didn't think of the consequence it would have.
MikeJ
2008-10-04 11:51:04
+2
A:
You have version 3.4.2.0957. Your problem was fixed on version 3.4.2.1243.
djeidot
2008-10-09 08:51:02
+1
A:
"It's not enough to be right. You also have to be smart."
(Can be used for office politics or any other reason :)
JXG
2008-11-11 09:04:46
+1
A:
In response to a team member whose code wont compile...
Try restarting your IDE...
Sadly, this actually works 50% of the time.
Nescio
2009-02-21 07:31:55
+1
A:
"it's not our product, it's your environment"
Unfortunately that much is true so much of the time, particularly when interfacing to MS protocols and then some charming sysadmin installs the latest beta crap and it all stops working.
Adam Hawes
2009-02-21 07:59:16
+2
A:
"You have to upgrade. But before you upgrade that you have to upgrade these four other things which need another six things upgraded..."
Schwern
2009-02-21 08:05:54
+2
A:
"I did [something to circumvent a problem] because [some other component didn't work the way I expected] for some reason."
To clarify: it drives me nuts to hear that someone wrote a non-obvious piece of code in response to a problem they didn't even try to understand properly! Even more so when that someone is me. .-)
Rytmis
2009-02-21 08:11:26
I'm guilty of this for sure. "When's that feature going to be available?" Me: "Uhh... I think I should be able to deploy it tomorrow morning." - 2 days later: not done.
SnOrfus
2009-04-24 15:45:53
+2
A:
In response to a reported bug:
"Well, the system wasn't meant to be used that way."
vg1890
2009-03-17 13:23:03
+2
A:
"I don't know. Try it now."
I get that one any time I make the mistake of calling a helpdesk number.
Bob Cross
2009-03-17 13:28:00
+1
A:
When reporting a bug to the programmer: "Oh... You found it..."
Lior Kogan
2009-09-11 16:32:55
A:
A few of my classics:
- "That should still work"
- "You want to do WHAT?!?"
- "What do you mean by..."
- "Could I show you this..."
JB King
2009-09-11 16:39:07
A:
"It works as specified."
...where "specified" means "The spec does not specifically mention this".
vobject
2009-09-11 16:57:46
A:
"There is no such thing as 'clever/beautiful code'."
Programmers have no sense for aesthetics ;-)
vobject
2009-09-11 17:05:28
+1
A:
On an existing code base...
The person who wrote this should have done it this way, but don't change it.
Aaron Daniels
2009-09-11 17:08:13