What happens during an IIS restart is actually a roll-over process. A new IIS worker process starts that accepts new connections, while the old worker process continues to process existing connections.
This means that if you configure your load balancer to use a balancing algorithm other than simple round-robin, that it will tend to "naturally" divert some, but not all, connections away from the machine that's recycling. For example, with a "least connections" algorithm, connections will tend to hang around longer while a server is recycling. Or, with a performance or latency algorithm, the recycling server will suddenly appear slower to the load balancer.
However, unless you write some code or scripts that explicitly detect or recognize a recycle, that's about the best you can do--and in most environments, it's also really all you need.