Your UserControl needs to expose appropriate properties, methods and events, so that your Window can interact with it. For example, your UserControl might declare a Paused event, so that the Window could respond when the user pauses the control; or it might declare a Play method, so that the Window can start the control playing. When you instantiate your UserControl in the Window's XAML file, give it a name, e.g.
<local:MyControl x:Name="myControl" />
You can then refer to it from code-behind, e.g.:
myControl.Paused += MyControl_Paused;
myControl.Play();
To create the required API, create public properties, methods and events on the UserControl in the code-behind class. You say you are a "rookie in C#" so I don't know how much guidance you need, but unless you need to get into WPF data binding or event routing, you can use normal C# / .NET properties, methods and events for this. Declaring properties, methods and events in C# is widely covered in MSDN and the literature. If you specifically need help working with WPF data binding or event routing, leave a comment outlining your specific difficulty and I'll update the answer.