You have 4 questions here:
What is happening in the time from the first file beeing copied till the last one has been exchanged? - There is a set time while .net waits to see if any other files have been modified before it starts up the new app domain with the new dll's loaded.
If i exchange the first DLL file, then a request comes in but the other DLL files are in an older version - will it just crash? - It depends on what code changes are in the dll's. If the new dll can run fine with old code then it will be fine. But if the app domain spins up the new DLL and that new dll is dependent on something that isn't there yet... then yes it will throw an exception.
Will asp.net wait for some seconds and only starts itself new after X seconds of no (relevant) file changes? - Yes. I haven't been able to find how long that time is. But in my personal experience it's somewhere in the 1-2 second range.
I also found a good explanation here on app domain and re-loading of DLL's:
http://odetocode.com/Articles/305.aspx
If you copy an updated dll into an
application’s bin subdirectory, the
ASP.NET runtime recognizes there is
new code to execute. Since ASP.NET
cannot swap the dll into the existing
AppDomain , it starts a new AppDomain.
The old application domain is “drain
stopped”, that is, existing requests
are allowed to finish executing, and
once they are all finished the
AppDomain can unload. The new
AppDomain starts with the new code and
begins taking all new requests.
Typically, when a dll loads into a
process, the process locks the dll and
you cannot overwrite the file on disk.
However, AppDomains have a feature
known as Shadow Copy that allows
assemblies to remain unlocked and
replaceable on disk.
The runtime initializes ASP.NET with
Shadow Copy enabled for the bin
directory. The AppDomain will copy any
dll it needs from the bin directory to
a temporary location before locking
and loading the dll into memory.
Shadow Copy allows us to overwrite any
dll in the bin directory during an
update without taking the web
application offline.