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Found this article and a similar question was aked on stackoverflow.com as well

http://www.codeproject.com/KB/miscctrl/AppControl.aspx

I figured a way to communicate between the control and the exe that it is hosting would be to use the link below

http://boycook.wordpress.com/2008/07/29/c-win32-messaging-with-sendmessage-and-wm_copydata/

However, SendMessage always returns 0. and none of my messages are recvd? how do i get this to work. I even tried PostMessage but to no avail.

+1  A: 

While SendMessage/PostMessage are very handy for sending messages from one app to another, you'er much better off using Events to communicate within the same app.

Andrew Ducker