Found this article and a similar question was aked on stackoverflow.com as well
http://www.codeproject.com/KB/miscctrl/AppControl.aspx
I figured a way to communicate between the control and the exe that it is hosting would be to use the link below
http://boycook.wordpress.com/2008/07/29/c-win32-messaging-with-sendmessage-and-wm_copydata/
However, SendMessage always returns 0. and none of my messages are recvd? how do i get this to work. I even tried PostMessage but to no avail.