Problems with .net and toolbar, menu & status bar rendermode (blue) and standard form (grey)

Answer 1

This is already standard XP style.
Try changing the render mode of the Toolstrip; that may make you happier.

Otherwise, you'll need to move to a third-party component vendor.
I've been using DevExpress, and I'm very happy with them.

Answer 2

It looks like XP style. The button has rounded corners with smooth 3D look (not just "raised box" as the "old school gray" was like).

Here is example of old style grey buttons:

It seems like there are no way of getting the toolbar background as background on the checkbox and button. An alternative is to add them as toolbar buttons instead, using DisplayStyle=Text.

The check box can be replaced with a toolbar button and setting CheckOnClick=True. It also has a property Checked that can be true or false. If you need tri-state, you can use the property CheckState instead.