Create objects that represent a message, then serialize the object, send it over the network, then deserialize at the other end.
For example, you could create a class called LoginMessage that contains two fields. One for a user name, and one for a password. To login, you would do something like:
LoginMessage *msg = new LoginMessage();
msg->username = "Fred";
msg->password = "you'll never guess";
char *serialized_msg = serialize(msg);
// send the bytes over the network
You would do something similar at the other end to convert the byte stream back into an object.
There are APIs for creating message objects and serializing them for you. Here are two popular ones. Both should suit your needs.
Protocol Buffers by Google
Thrift By Facebook
If you want the serialized messages to be readable, you can use YAML. Google has an API called yaml-cpp for serializing data to YAML format.
UPDATE:
Those APIs are for making your own protocol. They just handle the conversion of messages from object form to byte stream form. They do have feature for the actual transport of the messages over the network, but you don't need to use those features. How you design your protocol it up to you. But if you want to create messages by hand, you can do that too.
I'll give you some ideas for creating your own message format.
This is one way to do it.
Have the first 4 bytes of the message represent the length of the message as an unsigned integer. This is necessary to figure out where one message ends and where the next one starts. You will need to convert between host and network byte order when reading and writing to/from these four bytes.
Have the 5th byte represent the message type. For example, you could use a 1 to indicate a login request, a 2 to indicate a login response, and 3 to indicate a chat message. This byte is necessary for interpreting the meaning of the remaining bytes.
The remaining bytes would contain the message contents. For example, if it was a login message, you would encode the username and password into these bytes somehow. If it is a chat message, these bytes would contain the chat text.