Manual merging is a matter of calling FormMain.MainMenu.Merge(SubForm.MainMenu) and its counterpart FormMain.MainMenu.UnMerge(SubForm.MainMenu).
You shouldn't need it though, because if the FormStyles of your forms are properly set to fsMDIForm and fsMDIChild, then menu merging should be automatic.
Having said that, I am not sure that what you want is possible using the built in menu merging.
According to the GroupIndex help (and a couple of experiments), menu items from a child forms replace items on the main form with the same GroupIndex. Only when the GroupIndex of a menu item on the child form falls between GroupIndex values on the main form, will the menu be inserted. So, the File menu on your child form will always replace the File menu on the main form. Only if you give the File menu's different GroupIndex values will the File menu of the Main form remain, but then you have two File menu's...
So, I think the only solution would be to insert and remove the menu items of the subform manually, or to have them on the main menu all the time and enable/disable them according to the active MDIChild. Possibly even show/hide them.
Personally I would go for the option of having them around all the time and enabling/disabling them according to the active MDIChild, as I don't like menu items that "bounce around" (change position).