I used Redis, NGINX & PHP-FPM for my chat project. Not super elegant, but it does the trick. There are a few pieces to the puzzle.
There is a very simple PHP script that receives client commands and puts them in one massive LIST. It also checks all room LISTs and the users private LIST to see if there are messages it must deliver. This is polled by a client written in jQuery & it's done every few seconds.
There is a command line PHP script that operates server side in an infinite loop, 20 times per second, which checks this list and then processes these commands. The script handles who is in what room and permissions in the scripts memory, this info is not stored in Redis.
Redis has a LIST for each room & a LIST for each user which operates as a private queue. It also has multiple counters for each room the user is in. If the users counter is less than the total messages in the room, then it gets the difference and sends it to the user.
I haven't been able to stress test this solution, but at least from my basic benchmarking it could probably handle many thousands of messages per second. There is also the opportunity to port this over to something like Node.js to increase performance. Redis is also maturing and has some interesting features like Pub/Subscribe commands, which might be of interest, that would possibly remove the polling on the server side possibly.
I looked into Comet based solutions, but many of them were complicated, poorly documented or would require me learning an entirely new language(e.g. Jetty->Java, APE->C),etc... Also delivery and going through proxies can sometimes be an issue with Comet. So that is why I've stuck with polling.
I imagine you could do something similar with MongoDB. A collection per room, a collection per user & then a collection which maintains counters. You'll still need to write a back-end daemon or script to handle manging where these messages go. You could also use MongoDB's "limited collections", which keeps the documents sorted & also automatically clears old messages out, but that could be complicated in maintaining proper counters.