(I had already written this question out when I figured out the answer, so I'll post it anyway since Google didn't give me any useful answers).
I'm looking to create something much like a trigger which fires on an Oracle SELECT. The goal is remove specific rows from the result of the SELECT depending which user is doing the SELECT.
This needs to work on the Standard Edition version of Oracle 11g (not Enterprise), so I don't have access to Row Level Security or Fine-Grained Auditing.
I've got an existing (very) legacy application which has thousands of embedded selects all over the place, so ideally I don't want to have to change every one...
The table I'm looking to work with has a million rows in it, which somewhat limits me from a performance perspective.