SET QUOTED_IDENTIFIER ON
  GO
  CREATE FUNCTION [dbo].[ListToTable] (
  /*
  FUNCTION ListToTable
  Usage: select entry from listtotable('abc,def,ghi') order by entry desc
  PURPOSE: Takes a comma-delimited list as a parameter and returns the values of that list into a table variable.
  */
  @mylist varchar(8000)
  )
  RETURNS @ListTable TABLE (
  seqid int not null,
  entry varchar(255) not null)
  AS
  BEGIN
      DECLARE 
       @this varchar(255), 
       @rest varchar(8000),
       @pos int,
       @seqid int
      SET @this = ' '
      SET @seqid = 1
      SET @rest = @mylist
      SET @pos = PATINDEX('%,%', @rest)
      WHILE (@pos > 0)
      BEGIN
       set @this=substring(@rest,1,@pos-1)
       set @rest=substring(@rest,@pos+1,len(@rest)-@pos)
       INSERT INTO @ListTable (seqid,entry)  VALUES (@seqid,@this)
       SET @pos= PATINDEX('%,%', @rest)
       SET @seqid=@seqid+1
      END
      set @this=@rest
      INSERT INTO @ListTable (seqid,entry) VALUES (@seqid,@this)
      RETURN 
  END
Run that script in your SQL Server database to create the function ListToTable. Now, you can rewrite your query like so:
@attributetypeid bigint, 
@productid bigint,
@includedids varchar(MAX)  
DELETE FROM reltable 
WHERE productid = @productid AND 
attributetypeid = @attributetypeid AND 
attributeid NOT IN (SELECT entry FROM ListToTable(@includedids));
Where @includedids is a comma delimited list that you provide. I use this function all the time when working with lists. Keep in mind this function does not necessarily sanitize your inputs, it just looks for character data in a comma delimited list and puts each element into a record. Hope this helps.