I'm of the school of thought that, in case of inclarities or ambiguousity, the user is rarely wrong, and the UI is always to blame. So, when you say "punch the user in the face", tagged with "pebkac", I'm thinking that you would do good with a slap in the face.
Unfortunately, I'm unable to give any good UX-advice, since I'm a mere programmer, and therefore more or less by definition disqualify as a good UI-designer. I'd like just to point out the possibility, that you actually could be the one who needs to get a clue, and try to be more humble towards the users.
Edit for Adam:
The little I know about UX is how little I know about it. It's an entire career path. I know for a fact that there's very little anyone can learn by asking a single make-me-good-at-this question at Stack Overflow. It's like me asking "help me write better code", with the body text formulated as a story of how my colleagues ridicule me of my code.
We, programmers, are engineers. We like order and reason and logical decisions. But the average user is not a programmer, not an engineer and, in many cases, not interested in computers themselves the very least bit.
I'm glad that people are giving you nuggets of good advice, and I'm glad that you, contrary to my first impression (I'm sorry about that), are eager to take those bits and understand the needs of the user.
But the point remains: You need to buy books (Don't Make Me Think is a great place to start, as already recommended). You need to watch how people use your software. You need to observe where they stumble, and jig things around until your UIs seem natural.
I'm sorry I still can't give you an answer. Because I don't have it. And even if I would have it, I would probably have to charge you 50EUR an hour, for years into the future.