Is there any widespread library's/API's that allow you to work with VoIP ? I mean like a VoIP version of sockets or something..
Lots. The Java Media stuff works well too, assuming you're using Java.
If you need a high level interface, like sockets for network where you are not concerned about routing, addressing, reliability, etc. then I would recommend to stay far away from SIP libraries. The best way to gain an abstracted interface for voip is to install a PBX like FreeSwitch, Yate, or Asterisk and interface with that.
You will have a lot less problems with that than with oSIP and similar. If you're not familiar with SIP internals, then... it's a world of pain - don't go there.
A list of SIP libraries is available from http://www.pernau.at/kd/voip/bookmarks-sip-stacks.html. Popular Windows SIP stacks in alphabetical order are:
antisip has a couple, amsip/eXosip2, works on Linux/Windows, GPL/commercial variants.
pjsip, works on Linux/Windows, GPL with commercial licensing available.
resiprocate, works on Linux/Windows, BSD-esque license.
Sofia-SIP, the only one I have experience with. It's a LGPL library by Nokia that's being used by Freeswitch and GNOME. Works on Linux/Windows.
It's C++, but Windows also has a SIP stack built-in for XP, Windows RTC API The author complained it had some incompatibility issues with other SIP stacks.