I think I read the question a little differently, so hopefully this response isn't too off topic!
You can get a good overview of how much memory your application is consuming by using Windows Task Manager, or even better, Sysinternals Process Monitor. This is a quick way to review your processes at their peaks to see how they are behaving.
Out of the box, an x86 process will only be able to address 2GB of RAM. This means any single process on your machine can only consume up to 2GB. In reality, your likely to be able to consume only 1.5-1.8 before getting out of memory exceptions.
How much RAM your copy of Windows can actually address will depend on the Windows version and cpu architecture.
Using your example of 4GB RAM, the OS is going to give your applications up to 2GB of RAM to play in (which all processes share) and it will reserve 2GB for itself.
Depending on the operating system your running, you can tweak this, using the /3GB switch in the boot.ini, will adjust that ratio to 3GB for applications and 1GB for the OS. This has some impact to the OS, so I'd review that impact first and see if you can live with tradeoff (YMMV).
For a single application to be able to address greater than /3GB, your going to need to set a particular bit in the PE image header. This question/answer has good info on this subject already.
The game changes under x64 architecture. :)
Some good reference information:
Memory Limits for Windows Releases
Virtual Address Space