Perhaps the worst mistake that many designers make when working with developers is to assume that developers aren't creative, and that we couldn't possibly have any good ideas or inputs into the design. The fallacy of this is obvious because what we do all day, every day, is create things. It's taken for granted that designers can raise bugs against developers when our code doesn't represent the design exactly, yet many designers get very touchy when we raise suggestions about how their design could be improved even in minor ways. Sometimes the suggestions may not be suitable, but occasionally you might be able to improve your design.
In addition, I have frequently found that designers under-estimate the capabilities of developers to achieve what they want, so will sometimes suggest a simpler alternative. By opening up the dialog and giving a couple of options like a minimum one and an ideal one, you might be surprised that you can have elements of the ideal one, or all of it, or even something better as you discuss what actually can be achieved (sometimes what seems hard to achieve to a designer seems easy to the dev, and vice versa, because they are different disciplines). Of course the converse is true and you might be aiming too high, so you need to find that out as well.
In summary - you're absolutely right that any disconnect between design and dev is detrimental both to morale and the final product. So talk to the devs as soon as you have initial designs, and keep a good two-way dialog open.