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Earlier on I've implemented a custom C++ server from scratch, something which is nice and fun to do but is very time-consuming.

So I've heard about "servlet" of Java which sounds like something I'm looking for for my next project.

I'm looking at ASP.NET to be used as a servlet because it's pretty much mature in terms of networking capabilities and programming features and I can write code for it in C# which is a language I already know and feels good with.

Anyway before getting into it I'd like to get concise answers regarding some of the capabilities that ASP.NET may provide me with.
My client application is Flash-based and has nothing to do with XML or HTTP protocols (raw sockets).

1) Can I accept raw (in terms of protocol) socket connections and keep them alive as long as needed?
2) How hard/complicated is it to apply AES encryption over a connected socket?
3) Can I have a "shared", in-memory, objects, like lists, over the application's instance?
4) Can I get one message from client X and send a copy/reply/report (on the fly) to client Y, without using a database or anything like that? This question suggests question #5.
5) Can I identify a connection by its memory address or object address, so I can refer to it directly?
6) Can my application be distributed over several servers?
7) How hard/complicated is it to scale such an application? For 10 concurrent connections there's no problem but for 50,000 I can surely expect load issues.
8) Finally, the most important question which probably has the most complex answer: How flexible is the environment from a programmer perspective? I mean, can I control events such as "on_connect", "on_disconnect" and stuff like that? How hard would it be to access connection Y from connection X's event (such as "on_data_received")?