Imagine you have two binary numbers: a and b. And let's say that these number never have 1 in the same bit at the same time, i.e. if a has 1 in some bit, the b always has 0 in the corresponding bit. And in other direction, if b has 1 in some bit, then a always has 0 in that bit. For example
a = 00100011
b = 11000100
This would be an example of a and b satisfying the above condition. In this case it is easy to see that a | b would be exactly the same as a + b.
a | b = 11100111
a + b = 11100111
Let's now take two numbers that violate our condition, i.e. two numbers have at least one 1 in some common bit
a = 00100111
b = 11000100
Is a | b the same as a + b in this case? No
a | b = 11100111
a + b = 11101011
Why are they different? They are different because when we + the bit that has 1 in both numbers, we produce so called carry: the resultant bit is 0, and 1 is carried to the next bit to the left: 1 + 1 = 10. Operation | has no carry, so 1 | 1 is again just 1.
This means that the difference between a | b and a + b occurs when and only when the numbers have at least one 1 in common bit. When we sum two numbers with 1 in common bits, these common bits get added "twice" and produce a carry, which ruins the similarity between a | b and a + b.
Now look at a & b. What does a & b calculate? a & b produces the number that has 1 in all bits where both a and b have 1. In our latest example
a = 00100111
b = 11000100
a & b = 00000100
As you saw above, these are exactly the bits that make a + b differ from a | b. The 1 in a & b indicate all positions where carry will occur.
Now, when we do a - (a & b) we effectively remove (subtract) all "offending" bits from a and only such bits
a - (a & b) = 00100011
Numbers a - (a & b) and b have no common 1 bits, which means that if we add a - (a & b) and b we won't run into a carry, and, if you think about it, we should end up with the same result as if we just did a | b
a - (a & b) + b = 11100111