There are a bunch of ways to do it (as pointed out by others). You really want to think about your object structure though...
Perhaps your main method shouldn't even be instantiating aRef, perhaps it should be instantiated inside xRef's constructor (this is the case where xRef tends to be a "part" of the functionality of aRef.
If aRef can have multiple instances at some point you may not want to store it off at all, you may want to pass it in whenever an xRef method uses it.
This is where you need to consider your object model at a business logic level. What are the relationships between the objects, etc.
(My guess is that you want xRef to instantiate aRef and keep the reference itself, then if your "main" really needed to talk with aRef it could either ask xRef to forward the message or ask xRef for it's instance of aRef.)