Yes and no.
can I be sure that in1 == stuff1 and
in2 == stuff2 if the tag used is the
same in all cases?
Yes. There is a deterministic 1:1 correlation between send's and recv's that will get the correct input into the correct recv buffer. This behavior is guaranteed by the standard, and is enforced by all MPI implementations.
No. The exact order of internal message progression and the exact order in which buffers on the receiver side are populated is somewhat of a black box....especially when RDMA style message transfers with multiple in-flight buffers are being used (e.g. InfiniBand).
If your code is using multiple threads, and inspecting the buffer to determine completeness (e.g. waiting on a bit to be toggled) rather than using MPI_Test or MPI_Wait, then it is possible that the messages can arrive out of order (but in the correct buffer).
If your code is dependent on the in1 = stuff1 being populated BEFORE in2 = stuff2 is populated on the receiver side, and there is a single sending rank for both messages, then using MPI_Issend (non-blocking, synchronous send) will guarantee the messages are recv'd in order. If you need to guarantee the buffer population order of multiple recv's from multiple sending ranks, then some kind of blocking call is required between each revc (e.g. MPI_Recv, MPI_Barrier, MPI_Wait, etc).