I know this falls into the black arts area of programming, but this is suddenly an area that I need to strengthen in my professional life. There are a couple of topics were this subject has been touched on but I'm not sure the item has been really addressed about how to become one with the system. For example: I became a phenomenally better C++ programmer when I began to understand how the compiler worked, I became a better software engineer when I understood how people worked. They are different study paths.
What I'm asking is if you were to put a self help course together to become better at not just writing syntactically correct SQL, and well normalized databases, but fast optimized ones as well. What would you focus on, who would you talk to, who would you read, and how would you get there?