I've tried a variety of combinations, the following being my last attempt:
Addtype text/vnd.wap.wml wml
Addtype image/vnd.wap.wbmp wbmp
AddType text/vnd.wap.wmlscript wmls
AddType application/vnd.wap.wmlc wmlc
AddType application/vnd.wap.wmlscriptc wmlsc
AddType application/x-httpd-php .wml
How can I get stupid Apache 2.2.11 to parse .wml files as PHP?