I would highly recommend using flashembed. It has support for everything you need and more, without being that complicated to use. It was originally developed for embedding flowplayer, which I can also recommend, but it works for any flash file.
An example of how I use it:
flashembed("frontPageFlash",
{
src: "img/flash/FrontPage.swf",
width: "480",
height: "600",
bgcolor: "#ebebeb",
version: [9,0],
expressInstall:'scripts/expressinstall.swf'
},{
head1: "<%= frontPageFlashHead1 %>",
head2: "<%= frontPageFlashHead2 %>",
pitch1: "<%= frontPageFlashPitch1 %>",
pitch2: "<%= frontPageFlashPitch2 %>"
}
);
And where it is embedded I simply put:
<div id="frontPageFlash"></div>