The path you found in phpinfo
/usr/lib/php/php4.ini
is path on the server of your hosting account. The forward slash at the beginning of the path indicates it's a path from the root level of the file system. Think of this like the C:\
folder on a windows machine.
If you have SSH access to the server you can edit this file with a command line editor ("pico" is the easiest to learn)
$ pico /usr/lib/php/php4.ini
If you're using an sFTP client you should have a command (possibly a button or a drop down menu) that is something like "Go to Folder" or "Go to Directory". This should allow you to enter the path
/usr/lib/php/
which will drop you in the folder with php.ini.
Also via sFTP, when you log in you should see the ".." folder. Clicking on this will move you up a directory from your home directory. Keep click on this until you get to the top, then drill down to
/usr/lib/php
If you're accessing this through a file share of some kind, you're out of luck. Your system admin has effectively locked you out. Also, the above techniques may not work if the administrator of the server has blocked access to these folders and files (often common and necessary in a shared hosting environment)