I’m inclined to go with toggling buttons (buttons that “stick” depressed when “on”) rather than swapping images or label for a command button. I can’t cite any formal literature, but my impression is that it makes it easier both to anticipate the action produced by activation and to read the current state. The appearance and behavior of a toggle button is consistent with physical toggle button switches (like the Play buttons on older physical tape recorders). It’s also consistent with option buttons, check boxes, and state menu items, which all indicate their affirmative states through peripheral graphic design rather than labels. When the control looks like a command button (raised appearance), it’s labeled like a command button, the label indicating the action committed like any command button (e.g., “Connect”). When it looks like a state indicator (sunken, like a text box), its labeled suggest its current state (connected).
A single toggle button should only be used when there are simple True and False states to the process (e.g., Connected or not). Otherwise you need two or more “segmented controls” (abutting toggling buttons) to ambiguously indicate the alternatives (e.g., Forward vs. Reverse). This is analogous to using two option buttons in place of a check box.
Swapping labels to indicate changes in a button’s action can work if you use text labels that unambiguously indicate the action committed on activation, e.g., (“Connect” and “Disconnect”). While the Play/Pause button is a defacto standard, I’d otherwise avoid using an icon or image because it may confuse users on whether the label is indicating the current state or the state they’d get on activation (i.e., the opposite). There have been buttons that do one or the other, so the user can’t rely on experience. An image it not clearly a verb or adjective, so labeling with an image is tantamount to using text labels like “Online” and “Offline.” Even if done right, swapping labels has the disadvantage that the user needs to do a weird mental transformation to read the affirmative state (“It says I can disconnect, therefore I must be online now”). It can also mean you need a wordier label.