where are you calling this? (Sorry, didn't read carefully) I think you need to call it after the menu is inflated (usually in OnCreateOptionsMenu). To do this, you can set a variable to true when the other Activity returns, then do ((MenuItem)findViewById(R.id.menu_how)).setEnabled(mMyBooleanField)
in OnCreateOptionsMenu after the call to inflater.inflate.
Edit: To accomplish this in code, it might look something like this:
At the top of the class (along with all the other class members):
Boolean mEnableMenuItem = false;
In OnCreateOptionsMenu:
MenuInflater inflater = getMenuInflater();
inflater.inflate(R.menu.options_main, menu);
((MenuItem)findViewById(R.id.menu_how)).setEnabled(mEnableMenuItem );
In OnActivityResult:
mEnableMenuItem = true;