To make it short the solution is: association callbacks (more here under the Association Callback section: http://railsapi.com/doc/rails-v3.0.0/classes/ActiveRecord/Associations/ClassMethods.html)
To be a little more detailed I have adapted your example a little bit, but basically the structure is the same, here is the code:
class Person < ActiveRecord::Base
has_many :relationships
has_many :pupils, :through => :relationships, :source => :other_person, :conditions => 'relationships.type = "MasterPupil"', :after_add => Proc.new{|p,o| Relationship.update_all("type = 'MasterPupil'", ['person_id = ? AND other_person_id = ?', p.id, o.id])}
has_many :masters, :through => :relationships, :source => :other_person, :conditions => 'relationships.type = "PupilMaster"', :after_add => Proc.new{|p,o| Relationship.update_all("type = 'PupilMaster'", ['person_id = ? AND other_person_id = ?', p.id, o.id])}
end
class Relationship < ActiveRecord::Base
belongs_to :person
belongs_to :other_person, :class_name => 'Person'
before_validation :set_type
def set_type
self.type = 'OpenRelationship'
end
end
class MasterPupil < Relationship
end
class PupilMaster < Relationship
end
The RelationShip model contains a type column which is the equivalent of your status column, but type is nicer if I later want to do an STI and declare MasterPupil/PupilMaster relationship models.
RelationShip also has a set_type before_validation that will set the type to OpenRelationship which should be temporary before the after_add callback defined in the Person model in each association will set things clear (and set either a MasterPupil or PupilMaster type)
and now:
Loading development environment (Rails 3.0.0)
irb(main):001:0> p = Person.create
=> #<Person id: 1, created_at: "2010-09-10 23:35:37", updated_at: "2010-09-10 23:35:37">
irb(main):002:0> p.pupils
=> []
irb(main):003:0> p.masters
=> []
irb(main):004:0> p.pupils << Person.create
=> [#<Person id: 2, created_at: "2010-09-10 23:35:56", updated_at: "2010-09-10 23:35:56">]
irb(main):005:0> Relationship.all
=> [#<MasterPupil id: 1, person_id: 1, other_person_id: 2, type: "MasterPupil">]
irb(main):006:0> p.masters << Person.create
=> [#<Person id: 3, created_at: "2010-09-10 23:36:29", updated_at: "2010-09-10 23:36:29">]
irb(main):007:0> Relationship.all
=> [#<MasterPupil id: 1, person_id: 1, other_person_id: 2, type: "MasterPupil">, #<PupilMaster id: 2, person_id: 1, other_person_id: 3, type: "PupilMaster">]
irb(main):008:0> p.reload
=> #<Person id: 1, created_at: "2010-09-10 23:35:37", updated_at: "2010-09-10 23:35:37">
irb(main):009:0> p.pupils
=> [#<Person id: 2, created_at: "2010-09-10 23:35:56", updated_at: "2010-09-10 23:35:56">]
irb(main):010:0> p.masters
=> [#<Person id: 3, created_at: "2010-09-10 23:36:29", updated_at: "2010-09-10 23:36:29">]