COM is a lot of different things. I recommend Don Box's book, Essential COM as a good way to learn.
At a bare minimum, a COM object is an object that exposes a single interface, IUnknown. This interface has 3 methods, AddRef, Release, and QueryInterface. AddRef/Release enables the object to be reference counted, and automatically deleted when the last reference is released. QueryInterface allows you to interrogate the object for other interfaces it supports.
Most COM objects are discoverable. They are registered in the registry under HKEY_CLASSES_ROOT with an identifying GUID, called a CLSID (class ID). This enables you to call CoCreateInstance to create an instance of a registered object if you know a GUID. You can also query the registry via a COM API for the CLSID that backs a ProgId (program id), which is a string that identifies the object.
Many COM objects have typelibs that specify the interfaces and methods the object supports, as well as IDispatch which has a method, Invoke, that allows you to dynamically call methods on the object. This enables the object to be used from scripting languages that don't support strong typing.
Some objects support being run in a different process, on a different thread, or on a different machine. COM supports marshalling for these types of objects. If possible, a standard marshaller can use the object's typelib to marshal calls to the object, but custom marshallers can be provided as well.
And there's a whole lot more to COM objects, I'm barely scratching the surface.