When I was working at a financial software company, performance was vital. Some tables had hundreds of columns, and the update statements were costly. We created our own ORM layer (in java) which included an object cache. When we generated the update statement, we compared the current values of every field to the values as they were on load and only updated the changed fields.
Our db was SQLServer. I do not remember the performance improvement, but it was substantial and worth the investment. We also did bulk inserts and updates where possible.
I believe that Hibernate and the other big ORMs all do this sort of thing for you, if you do not want to write one yourself.