Using sql server 2005 try this.
DECLARE @Table TABLE(
ID INT,
Date DATETIME,
Ref VARCHAR(MAX)
)
INSERT INTO @Table (ID,Date,Ref) SELECT 1, '01 Sep 2008', 'A'
INSERT INTO @Table (ID,Date,Ref) SELECT 1, '11 Sep 2008', 'A'
INSERT INTO @Table (ID,Date,Ref) SELECT 1, '01 Oct 2008', 'A'
INSERT INTO @Table (ID,Date,Ref) SELECT 2, '01 Sep 2008', 'A'
INSERT INTO @Table (ID,Date,Ref) SELECT 2, '01 Oct 2008', 'A'
INSERT INTO @Table (ID,Date,Ref) SELECT 2, '01 Nov 2008', 'B'
INSERT INTO @Table (ID,Date,Ref) SELECT 2, '01 Dec 2008', 'B'
;WITH Ordered AS (
SELECT ID,
Ref,
Date,
ROW_NUMBER() OVER (PARTITION BY ID, Ref ORDER BY Date) SubNumber
FROM @Table t
)
SELECT Ordered.ID,
Ordered.Ref,
AVG(DATEDIFF(dd, Ordered.Date, OrderedNext.Date)) AVG_Days
FROM Ordered INNER JOIN
Ordered OrderedNext ON Ordered.ID = OrderedNext.ID
AND Ordered.Ref = OrderedNext.Ref
AND Ordered.SubNumber + 1 = OrderedNext.SubNumber
GROUP BY Ordered.ID,
Ordered.Ref
Also have a look at it mathematically:
Let say
([X(1)-X(0)] + [X(2)-X(1)] + [X(3)-X(2)] + ... + [X(n-1)-X(n-2)] + [X(n)-X(n-1)]) / (n-1).
expand the top part as
-X(0) + X(1) - X(1) + X(2) - X(2) + X(3) - ... - X(n-2) + X(n-1) - X(n-1) + X(n)
whcih end up as -X(0) + X(n)
so we have [X(n) - X(0)] / (n - 1)
so take (MAX - MIN) / (Count - 1) for count > 1