I want to know if a "Customer" can be deleted (ie, it is not being referenced in any other tables).
It is not really the database responsibility to determine if the Customer can be deleted. It is rather part of your business logic.
You are asking to check the referential integrity on the database.
It is ok in non OOP world.
But when dealing with objects (like you do) you better add the logic to your objects (objects have state and behavior; DB - only the state).
So, I would add a method to the Customer class to determine if it can be deleted or not. This way you can properly (unit) test the functionality.
For example, let's say we have a rule Customer can only be deleted if he has no orders and has not participated in forum.
Then you will have Customer object similar to this (simplest possible case):
public class Customer
{
public virtual ISet<Order> Orders { get; protected set; }
public virtual ISet<ForumPost> ForumPosts { get; protected set; }
public virtual bool CanBedeleted
{
get
{
return Orders.Count == 0 && ForumPosts.Count == 0
}
}
}
This is very clean and simple design that is easy to use, test and does not heavily relies on NHibernate or underlying database.
You can use it like this:
if (myCustomer.CanBeDeleted)
session.Delete(mycustomer)
In addition to that you can fine-tune NHibernate to delete related orders and other associations if required.
The note: of course the example above is just simplest possible illustrative solution. You might want to make such a rule part of the validation that should be enforced when deleting the object.