Xcode is the IDE for Mac OS X, you can download the latest version by joining the Apple Developer Connection with a free Online membership.
I don't believe there are any supported APIs for controlling wireless networking adaptors. The closest thing would be the System Configuration framework, but I don't know if it will let you do everything you want.
Also, I would strongly recommend against trying to use Flex/Air for your application's user experience. It may look slick to you on Windows as a Windows developer, but when it comes to providing a full Macintosh user experience such technologies aren't always a great choice.
For one example, I think Air applications don't support the full range of Mac OS X text editing keystrokes. While not all Mac users will use all keystrokes, for those people used to them trying to type in a text field that doesn't handle (say) control-A and control-E to go to the beginning and end of field is like swimming through syrup.
For a new application that needs to be cross-platform, I'd strongly consider building the core logic in C++ while using Cocoa on the Mac and WPF on Windows to get the best user experience on each platform. Both Mac OS X and Windows have modern native user experience technologies that their respective users are getting used to, and also have good ways for C++ code to interoperate with these technologies.