As I understand from this problem (breaking encapsulation during reading and writing to DB or SNMP connection), first you need a proper design to eliminate these "friend"s. please define an abstract class for connections (i.e. IDBConnection) also persistent objects (i.e. IPersistent). You may use "Abstract Factory" pattern to create them. Furthermore, isolate load and save methods to another class and use "visitor pattern" to initialize or save your objects from/to your DB.
Another point, if you need an embedded DB for your application, use SQLite there are tons of good C++ wrappers for it. Hope it helps