[Community wiki] Monitoring a production platform is of the utmost importance for our organization.
(and I am not talking about an exe on a single platform, but rather a farm of 2 or 3 thousands servers (PC-Linux-Solaris), for various financial processing purposes)

However, the various monitoring tools have so many sound alerts it is not always easy to instantly discern what they mean without having to look. Our cognitive expert is adamant: sound alone can only get you so far. To establish an instant link with the incident, you need a more efficient mnemonic way: sound and speech.

In a word: Songs.
In three words: Songs about programming.

See my answer below for a great example I use for database alerts.

Our operational architecture team counts on you, SO community: any text of song or set of songs (about programming) you can think of is welcome. We will sort them out and use the ones making for great alert messages, recording the text along the appropriate original lyrics
(we are also evaluating Speech Synthesis for Music from Microsoft precisely for that purpose).

The list of potential incident is not relevant in this thread: if you know a song about programming, post their text here: we will sort them and link them to the appropriate events.

REQUEST UPDATED: Do you know more more 'look-a-like' songs (with lyrics rewritten to match a programming topic instead of the original text), like the ones from the current answers:

  • Yesterday ("All those backups seemed a waste of paaaay....")
  • Code Monkey ("Code Monkey think maybe manager oughta write goddamn login page himself")
    (it is an original song, but entirely about programming, which is great)
  • My Cubicle ("And I really should work but instead I just sit here and surf the Internet")
  • GigFlapping ("GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again and the router's in disarray")
+19  A: 

From The Beatles Computer Songs

(when I hear that song played, I instantly know I need to get in touch with my DBA pronto: some backup processes have not terminated themselves properly)

All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh I believe in yesterday.

There's not half the files there used to be,
And there's a milestone hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly.

I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say.
Now all my data's gone
And I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.

The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data was all here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.
It was so funny Man!
Alex. S.

OFFTOPIC : ROTFL , my god , what happend to reading the log file?! :)

Hmmm nothing, we still read them, but at least we know what to look for in the log as soon as we hear a certain song ;)
"logging is good, monitoring is better"
Steven A. Lowe
+1  A: 

[From Kevin]
These aren't programming related, but the titles make them appropriate.

For instance:

Beautiful girl lovely dress
High school smiles oh yes
Beautiful girl lovely dress
Where she is now I can only guess

Cause its gone daddy gone
Your love is gone
Gone daddy gone
The love is gone away
Good when a server suddenly... is not there anymore ;)
Hey,with the popularity of virtualization, it could easily happen
I hear you! (and agree :) )

Could we have a list of incidents types for which you need songs?

Good point: I have updated the question to reflect what is expected: any song about programing will do. We will sort them later.
+4  A: 

[From harriyott]
I would suggest House of Pain for when the backup fails

Jump Around

"B"ack it up, "B"ack it in
Let me begin
I came to win
Battle me thats a sin
I wont tear the sack up
Punk youd better back up
Try and play the role and the whole crew will act up
Get up, stand up, come on!
I came to get down (2x)
So get out your seats and jump around
Jump around (3x)
Jump up jump up and get down.
Jump (18x)
Man, just the music alone is an alarm in itself ;)
+15  A: 

[From plinth]

You know about Code Monkey by Jonathan Coulton, right?

Code Monkey get up get coffee
Code Monkey go to job
have boring meeting with boring manager Rob
Rob say Code Monkey very diligent
but his output stink
his code not functional or elegant
what do Code Monkey think
Code Monkey think maybe manager oughta write goddamn login page himself
Code Monkey not say it out loud
Code Monkey not crazy just proud
Quite fitting for our nightly builds. If it's broken, I will hear it first thing in the morning ;)
+6  A: 

[From Tamm]

When the levee breaks by Led Zeppelin for situation so bad that can get you unemployed

If it keeps on rainin', levee's going to break
When the levee breaks, have no place to stay

Mean old levee, taught me to weep and moan
It's got what it takes to make a mountain-man leave his home

Don't it make you feel bad
When you're tryin' to find your way home
And you don't know which way to go ?
If you're goin' down south and they've no work to do
Then ya go north to Chicago
Perfect when a stack is full and some data start to get lost because the listener can no longer process the data...
+1  A: 

[From CesarB]

gigflapping.mp3, which you can find in several places in the net, is a good one.

Packets dropping... 
Console locking... 
Boss is knocking... 

GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again 
and the router's in disarray 
GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again 
Now I think it's time to RMA 

GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again 
and they're never going to be the same 
GigE ports down, wait, now they're up again 
gotta find an SE to blame 

Pinging with no reply 
Pinging with no reply 

You got your STM 
over 1310 
You got your SRP 
which is DPT 

You got your Sonet Rings connected via DPT 
You got your OC3's to your ISP
Man... awesome, just awesome :)
+4  A: 

[From jgreep]

I'm not sure what alerts this would work for. It sounds more like an alert for when the logs are getting too boring.

My Cubicle

Lyrics by: Morning Sidekick
Performed by: Jym Britton
Parody on “You’re Beautiful” by James Blunt

My job is stupid my day’s a bore,
Inside this office from eight to four
Nothin’ ever happens my life is pretty bland,
Pretending that I’m working, pray I don’t get canned.

My Cubicle, My cubicle
It’s One of Sixty two
It’s my small space in a crowded place
Just a six-by-six foot booth
And I hate it that’s the truth

Well, I give a sigh as the boss walks by,
no one ever talks to me or looks me in the eye.
And I really should work but instead I just sit here and surf the Internet.

In My Cubicle, My cubicle
It doesn’t have a view.
It’s my small space in a crowded place
I sit in solitude.
And sometimes I sit here nude.
Perfect when for our daemon checking if all asynchronous clients are up when a publisher starts emitting data. If the publisher emits for no-one... that would be the perfect song!
+5  A: 

[From jgreep]

"Don't Bring Me Down"
Electric Light Orchestra

You got me runnin goin out of my mind,
You got me thinkin that Im wastin my time.
Dont bring me down,no no no no no,
Ill tell you once more before I get off the floor
Dont bring me down.

Dont bring me down,grroosss
Dont bring me down,grroosss
Dont bring me down,grroosss
Dont bring me down.
Excellent, shutdown processes are amongst the trickiest one. We need some alert to prevent bringing down a process too soon. That will do nicely.
+4  A: 

[From jgreep]

"Smoke on the Water"
Deep Purple (1973)

They burned down the gambling house
It died with an awful sound
Funky claude was running in and out
Pulling kids out the ground
When it all was over
We had to find another place
But swiss time was running out
It seemed that we would lose the race

Smooooke on the water, fire in the sky
Well... it just craaaashed (in flame)

[From jgreep]

"Everybody Wants Some"
Van Halen

For when you have too much traffic.

Evrybody wants some.
I want some too.
Evrybody wants some.
Baby, how bout you?
Evrybody wants some.
Evrybody needs some.
Evrybody wants some.
Evrybody needs some.

[From jgreep]

"Cold as Ice"

Ive seen it before, it happens all the time
Youre closing the door, you leave the world behind
Youre digging for gold, youre throwing away
A fortune in feelings, but someday youll pay


Cooold as ice - you know that you are
Cooold as ice - as cold as ice to me
Cooold as ice
That server just... does... not... respond. Anymore. And from a long time.
+2  A: 

[From jgreep]

"I Just Died In Your Arms"
Foreigner or Cutting Crew

CHORUS: Oh, I just died in your arms tonight
It must've been something you said,
I just died in your arms tonight
Oh, I just died in your arms tonight
It must've been some kind of kiss
I should've walked away, I should've walked away.
Is there any just cause for feeling like this
On the surface I'm a name on a list
I try to be discreet, but then blow it again.
I've lost and found, it's my final mistake.
She's loving by proxy, no give and all take
'Cause I've been thrilled to fantasy one too many times.
Someone just entered the *wrooong* command. And something died as a consequence.
+3  A: 

[From Gabe]

"Communication Breakdown"
Led Zeppelin

Serves for pretty much all purposes

Communication Breakdown,
It's always the same,
I'm having a nervous breakdown,
Drive me insane!
Great for communication protocol: [...] The protocol must provide reliability against all forms of communication errors. This includes both short "glitches" and long term "breakdowns". If the communication breakdown is unrecoverable, the protocol must be able to signal this to the comm entities...
+2  A: 

You gonna love this: "Java - The Parody Song" by "Loose Bruce" Kerr

Java, Java, Java Java jing-jing-jing Java, Java, Java Java jing-jing-jing

It's not a cup of coffee but it's hot as can be Came pourin' through the Gates on a "Big Mac" Nealy Singin', Java, Java, Java Java jing-jing-jing

Microsoft thought Java really could be a threat Java through the Windows maybe put them in debt Gates, he took a license but he altered the feel Java members all said, "Bill, you're outa the deal!"

Singin', Java, Java, Java Java jing-jing-jing Java, Java, Java Java jing-jing-jing

It's like a cup of coffee 'cause it's tasty and fresh But it's not really Java if the flavors don't mesh Pure Java, Java, Java Java jing-jing-jing

Microsoft released a browser, Java was there The Sun, it rose and lit up what was really a dare The RMI, the JNI were missing and lost Scott said, "Bill, you broke your promise, Now pay the cost!"

Bill said, "Hey, my recipe is richer than yours" Scott said, "I own the coffee shop, sit down and I'll pour"

Pour Java, Java, Java Java jing-jing-jing Java, Java, Java Java jing-jing-jing Nobody can tell yet what the future may bring All we know is Java goes jing-jing-jing

It goes Java, Java, Java Java jing-jing-jing (Scott really means it) Java, Java, Java Java jing-jing-jing (Bill you better believe it) Java, Java Java jing-jing-jing

awesome :) For signaling the end of some cross-platform java deployment.
+3  A: 

A bit archaic, perhaps, but I like it nonetheless:

Write in C (Let it be)

When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me, Speaking words of wisdom:
"Write in C."

As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
"Write in C."

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
LOGO's dead and buried,
Write in C.


Already covered by my answer, but +1 for making it an individual entry. For any compilation process that stops on an error, this song would be appropriate ;)
+1  A: 

Guy Steele wrote a whole bunch of these back in the 70s. One of my favorites was "Reclaimer, spare that tree!" for its portrait in song of the Deutsch-Schorr-Waite pointer-reversal trick (also described here).

Reclaimer, spare that tree!
Take not a single bit!
It used to point to me,
Now I'm protecting it.
It was the reader's CONS
That made it, paired by dot;
Now, GC, for the nonce,
Thou shalt reclaim it not.
Darius Bacon
Excellent, for some kind of "out of memory" instances!


The Still alive song from Coulton :

Gilles Philippart
+2  A: 

Telnet Song -- Guy L Steele, Jr

 There is a program called TELNET to get to another CPU.
 Control up-arrow is the escape; it's doubled to send it through,
 and "quit" is control up-arrow Q.

 A hacker once used TELNET to get to another CPU.
 He knew he could quit whenever he wanted to: all he had to do was type
 control up-arrow Q.

 Instead the hacker used TEL-NET to get to another CPU.
 He knew he could quit whenever he wanted to: all he had to do was type
 control up-arrow [at i-th time, repeat 2^i times]
 [repeat verse n times; the choice of n is free]

 The hacker soon got bored with this, and wanted to get back.
 He sighed, and started the exponential popping of the stack:

 The hacked flushed the TEL-NET to the most distant CPU:
 He couldn't log out until he had killed them all,
 counting up powers of two: he typed
 control up-arrow [at i-th time, repeat 2^(n-i+1) times]
 Q. [repeat n times]


 The hacker's eyes were bloodshot; his fingers, black and blue;
 He wanted to log out and and go home to bed, and sleep for a day or two.
 He typed L O G O U T ... carriage return ...

 The hacker was on a network with only twenty CPU's.
 But if he had telnetted to them all,
 he would not yet be through with typing
 control up-arrow [repeat 7 times]
Excellent when a process is still active, when it should have stopped long ago ;) +1

Madonna - Frozen? LOL

Ice Cube - It was a good day - performing backup

Nelly - Hot in Herre

+1  A: 

This is actually not a bad idea, I know of one local company that uses music to dispatch mechanics. They have a large number of tours going through facility and did not want radios or a PA system broadcasting that there was a problem. So each mechanic was given a small card with a list of songs and the corresponding section of the production line. Whenever a song came on, they knew which section of the production line had a problem.

We had a couple of machines in one section of the line. when we showed up to work on them, the theme from star wars was playing in back ground. Finally I ask one of the worker if they always played it. He laughed and explained the system.

Jim C
+1  A: 

The Eternal Flame

Excerpt :

Now, I’ve used a SUN under Unix, so I’ve seen what C can hold.
I’ve surfed for Perls, found what Fortran’s for,
Got that Java stuff down cold.
Though the chance that I’d write COBOL code
is a SNOBOL’s chance in Hell.
And I basically hate hieroglyphs, so I won’t use APL.
Great when a static analysis code finally finish its task. +1
+2  A: 

If you have some cross platform malfunction you could use "Every OS Sucks" by Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie

For CPU failures - "All About the Pentiums" - Weird Al

"Everything right is Wrong Again" - TMBG, general purpose errors

"I hope that I get old before I die" - TMBG, some long running thread/task with premature thread death, etc.

"Thermostat" - TMBG, overheating/fan failure

"Virus Alert" - Weird Al, uh... for virii?

"Trash Day" - Weird Al, low disk space (take out the trash?)

"Traffic Jam" - Weird Al, high bandwidth usage

Wayne Werner