I'm guessing this a pre-fork Apache....
If you've got 1000 concurrent chat connections, then you need at least 1000 webservers (presumably you'll be serving up static content too, and you say that each presence results in 2 connections - so you can double the 1000) - a ServerLimit/MaxClients of 256 is not going to cut it, you probably need around 2200 to support this (but without hard metrics its hard to give an exact figure).
This is a ridiculously large amount. To support this I'd be looking for 3 boxes, each with about 2Gb free memory before the webserver is started.
MaxRequestsPerChild is not really relevant other than the fact you want some turnover of processes, particularly if you are using long polling.
This is one of the reasons why COMET is not a good idea. Using AJAX polling would be much more efficient. Assuming this is not something you can change, you might want to have a look at using a threaded Apache webserver which is marginally more memory efficient,
C.