I want to create a static class in PHP and have it behave like it does in C#, so
- Constructor is automatically called on the first call to the class
 - No instantiation required
 
Something of this sort...
static class Hello {
    private static $greeting = 'Hello';
    private __construct() {
        $greeting .= ' There!';
    }
    public static greet(){
        echo $greeting;
    }
}
Hello::greet(); // Hello There!