I did five years of .NET work and then switched to Java, and found I disliked most of the IDEs as well- especially Eclipse, which IMHO is a royal pain and is only popular because some people have been using for it for years.
I finally tried IntelliJ and decided to buy it. There are a lot of things I could fault with IntelliJ. With larger projects, it spends what feels like hours analyzing code on startup, and when it detects a change (which can happen under certain cirumstances when you clean your project). During this time you can't use the editor. It also would crash for a period of a month, although after sending five different stack dumps to JetBrains the issue was finally fixed in a new release.
But compared to Eclipse, I'm willing to work with it. The issues I had with Eclipse never seemed as large as the few I've had with IntelliJ, but they were always annoying and took a lot of time to tweak and fix. There also seemed to be a lot of them, happening all the time, and it made me feel like the IDE was never stable. It seemed far too easy to screw up the work environment and make Eclipse simply not work. This is all subjective of course, but other members of my team had similar problems- we could never quite blame Eclipse flat out for not working, yet we seeemed to have to spend about a day or so every couple of months totally reinstalling it because the delicate balance of plugins was somehow disrupted and the thing would just not work how we wanted it too.
Some members of my team use Net Beans now. I've only played with a bit, so I can't put it down.
But in summary, I prefer IntelliJ. There are a lot of really neat re-factoring tools included with it, and the editor has these "facets" which detect what kind of project you're working on (for example, if it uses GWT or Struts) and can detect a lot of mistakes that normally aren't discovered until runtime and notify you in the IDE with warnings. Installing Plugins is a breeze.
Finally, IntelliJ looks the most like Visual Studio of any of the Java editors. The way it organizes project files is also somewhat similar with analogous concepts to Solution and Project files (especially compared to Eclipse or Netbeans ). I also think it has the nicest key bindings of any IDE I've ever used.