Personally, I think that the whole way Silverlight "Styling and templating" is being explained is ludicrous. We're talking about these 2 properties like it's rocket science or something.
There's a massive hype around Silverlight "Styling and templating" when it is in fact a very easy and approachable topic.
The best way you could possibly understand how Silverlight UI works is through the Silverlight UI Designers: Expression Blend and Visual Studio 2010 Silverlight Designer.
Blend however is much more accommodating to this topic.
And one is that is very similar to Silverlight Documentation (ex. what property do you need to set if you want have this modification),except that is more confortable to use.
You want to know what a property on a control does? Open up Expression Blend and play around with it. Reading a book, watching a webcast or even skimming through MSDN is no substitue for real exprience.
So, download expression blend, start a new Silverlight project, place a control on the design surface and start fiddling around with it. It's a good way you'll gain real world experience.
Also, Microsoft ships the 2 following sample apps for it's Silverlight controls:
1) Silverlight Framework controls - http://silverlight.net/content/samples/sl2/silverlightcontrols/run/default.html
2) Silverlight SDK + Silverlight Toolkit controls - http://silverlight.net/samples/sl3/toolkitcontrolsamples/run/default.html
One that is explaining the basics of the Silverlight styling(Basic Terms). Or some very simple collection of examples,in wich i can learn a lot.
Excellent question. There's a lot that can be said about Styling, Templating and the VisualStateManager. But, Instead of saying it - I'll point you again to Blend.
Please watch theese four following VisualStateManager "How Do I?" videos by Steve White. These helped me tremendously when I tried to wrap my brain around VSM and templating.