Programming with OCPD (Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder)

Question

From wikipedia:

The primary symptoms of OCPD are a preoccupation with details, rules, lists, order, organization, and schedules; being very rigid and inflexible in their beliefs; showing perfectionism that interferes with completing a task; excessive focus on being productive with their time; being very conscientious; having inflexible morality, ethics, or values; hoarding items that may no longer have value; and a reluctance to trust a work assignment or task to someone else for fear that their standards will not be met.

I have not been diagnosed with OCPD but I'm probably suffering from it. In my personal life it has gone so bad that it's really hard to start anything because I know in advance that I cannot reach the result I'm aiming for.

In my work as a programmer things aren't as bad, since I don't have total freedom over things, but I do tend to procrastinate on decisions and rarely feel I have achieved something to be proud of. Sometimes it is more important that something is done the right way than it's done. Also I like to work on my own (in the dark) and I'm reluctant to ask for help because I want to make things my way. At the same time I know it's not good. Unfortunately my current work environment doesn't encourage behaving otherwise.

If there is anyone with OCPD or severe perfectionist traits, how does it affect your daily work and what can you do to cope with it?

Note that OCPD is not same as OCD. They are often confused.

Sorry for the throwaway account.

Answer 1

I overcame OCD with CBT.

CBT On WikiPedia

Answer 2

CBT is definitely one treatment option where there are groups like Freedom From Fear if one doesn't want to have a therapist though that is another option.

Another part of this is recognizing a few negative thinking patterns:

• Perfectionism - Could the code be perfect? Probably, but depending on what is the top priority this can vary and is it really worthwhile to spend 1,000,000 hours to get that .1% improvement that took so long to find? While I am just pulling those numbers out of thin air, they are something that helps me cope with that thinking. Be realistic, not idealistic. Is there a perfect route to get home? Probably, but should I try 101 routes to find it or just accept there are a few different ones and just take one to get home.

• Being inflexible on things - The response I tend to get on how to handle these situations where I have 101 "What if"s going on in my mind is to have a "So what" response that isn't massive concern, but rather why should it matter if this or that is done. Thus, trying to be in the moment helps on this. What am I doing now rather than what could/would/should I be doing.

• Self-criticism - Being overly hard on oneself is another issue I tend to have that while not in the OCPD description may well be a side effect that some may notice because of having unrealistic expectations where sometimes one just has to forget the little mistakes one makes and try to "not sweat the small stuff" as not driving perfect is pretty common, IME.

As for things like trusting others, this comes with finding small areas to show that sometimes it is OK to let someone else do the work and trust that you work with good people that merit some trust and faith. After all, do you want to do all the work all the time? I'd rather leave some of it to my team to help carry me at times and at times I'll take one for the team and carry some of them.

Answer 3

You ought to talk to a trained medical professional and this is not a place where they hang out. The advice you get here may read good but may not be medically sound. Besides, you may not have OCPD but something else in which OCPD-symptons are a symptons of it... only a trained medically professional knows.

Answer 4

A lot of what you describe sounds like a friend of mine.

He's the most brilliant programmer I know, but after decades in Silicon Valley, he has a reputation for insisting on doing things "perfectly", rather than "well enough" and shipping them. This has made it almost impossible for him to find work. So he is understandably depressed and unmotivated, and like you has trouble starting new things. He's procrastinating on yet another job/contract search, probably because he's afraid of failing yet again.

He also has the problem with "hoarding items that may no longer have value", and has a very hard time throwing anything away. He recently spent days disassembling old floppy drives he'd collected and carefully sorting the parts into little labelled bins, just in case he might ever need them. (I look at that and think, "If you ever need one - which you probably won't - there are innumerable places in Silicon Valley to buy old floppy drives for fifty cents or so.")

If you're dissatisfied and want to live a happier, more fulfilled life, I would also recommend CBT. Personality disorders like OCPD and what I have (BPD) generally respond well to CBT if you're serious about it. (I would caution against psychoanalysis, aka "talk therapy". In my experience, it is ineffective with personality disorders and can even make them worse.)

The general thrust of CBT is not to "solve" or "fix" a personality disorder, but rather to learn effective ways of thinking ("cognitions") and behaving to cope with it and live effectively and happily. I did a variant called DBT, and it's completely turned my life and marriage around, and helped me become not only much happier, but a more effective programmer to boot.