views:

151517

answers:

597

Programming has given me a lot of bad habits and it continues to give me more everyday. But I have also gotten some bad habits from the mindset that I have put myself in. There simply are some things that are deeply rooted in my nature, though some of them I wish I could get rid of.

A few:

  • Looking for polymorphism, inheritance and patterns in all of God's creations.
  • Explaining the size of something in pixels and colors in hex code.
  • Using code related abstract terms in everyday conversations.

How have you been damaged?

+133  A: 

I swear my attention span gets shorter everyday...

Wait... What?

Geoffrey Chetwood
Is that a habit or a symptom?
ΤΖΩΤΖΙΟΥ
@TZ: What were we talking about?
Geoffrey Chetwood
I was gonna' vote it up but it has 32 votes, so I just can't
Unkwntech
<span class="attention"></span>
alex
i have the same problem
Oscar Cabrero
me possibly too, I'm not really sure... how do you measure it?
Dragoljub
@alex: more like <span class="attention" />
Zifre
<span class="attention">Deficit</span>
xandy
<span class="at
Jason
@Zifre: That's invalid XHTML.
grawity
@grawity - an empty span is perfectly valid XTML, though some validators erroneously complain about it.
Daniel Earwicker
lets ride bikes!
Justin Johnson
lots of people complain about my empty attention span
James Brooks
+612  A: 

I tend to take things hyper-literally. For example, my wife was annoyed when she used to ask "Do you want to take out the garbage?" (no) instead of "Will you take out the garbage?" (yes).

Whether this is a result of programming, or just an innate trait that helps in programming, I cannot say.

Glomek
This happens to me all the time, and my wife hates it too.
Mark Bessey
I've replied "define what you means by 'want'".
James Curran
That happens with me and mom when i visit home. "Do you want anything to eat?"... "No."... "Want some cookies?" ... "Arent cookies a subset of food? Stop asking the same questions, you'll get the same answer." "GET OUT OF MY HOME!" "fine, fix the PC yourself next time".
Mostlyharmless
It's got everything to do with programming. Computers are the most literal beings in the universe, and we deal with them all the time. (BTW, they are literal, but I think their determinism is overrated :)
ΤΖΩΤΖΙΟΥ
Highly overrated.
Mostlyharmless
I did this before I started programming so i'm not sure if its related. It's fun tho! :D
Quibblesome
I don't think its because of computers or programming, it's just the midset of a programmer or someone who should be a programmer.
Unkwntech
@Unkwntech: the chicken/egg problem.
ΤΖΩΤΖΙΟΥ
Re: cookies - she didn't ask you if you wanted to eat cookies, just if you wanted some (maybe to put in your pocket for later)
camh
Lol, i do this a lot.
RodgerB
This happens to me all the time, and my wife hates it too. ( (c) Mark Bessy ;)
David Schmitt
My mother used to do something very similar, she was a mathematician. If I said "Can I go to the toilet" she would reply with "You can, but may you?"
PintSizedCat
Glad it's not just me who does this. I usually end up kicking myself afterwards, the changing my mind and thinking 'Why can't they ask a simple question, that can be answered without any ambiguity?'.I guess that this is just one of the perils of being a geek.
belugabob
A pseudo code snippet can fix this problem: if (wife) then replace("do you want to", "since you know I'll make your life miserable if you don't, do you then want to")
Mark T
Recently:Q: Do you know what time it is?A: Yes....
Uros Calakovic
I always get this from people around me, and always answer: Yes, I want, or No, I don't want, and stay quiet until the intended question come! It's stronger than me
Fernando Barrocal
Reminds me of: http://xkcd.com/149/
cciotti
I do this all the time. Drives my wife up the wall. Even worse is my son is picking up on it and he is not even a programmer......yet
StubbornMule
"Will you take out the garbage?" "Yes." (3 hours later) "Will you take out the garbage NOW?"
John at CashCommons
This is just so true.
Camilo Díaz
I do this all the time
Jeff Yates
If you think you are bad, try going through the Army's Interrogator course and then becoming a programmer. Talk about being anal about details and how questions are worded. I even irritate myself sometimes. I don't know how my wife puts up with me.
Kevin
Me too! But the question is 'Can you...' Sure.........
kenny
@Mark T: Excellent suggestion on the the snippet! My own version is a simple word reversal: Will you --> You will. *sigh* More's the pity.
AR
It has more to do with how differently men and women think. Men understand direct and assertive. Women want to be friendly and coercive. Women say "do you want to" as a passive request to be friendly. Men find it annoying and subversive. Go figure. There's more about it in the mars/venus book.
jcoby
@cciotti: But it's also reminiscent of http://xkcd.com/169.
Tommy Herbert
This has happened too many times
srand
It is exactly this attitude that causes problems in my marriage; my wife is rather annoyed that I take everything so literally.
Jason Bunting
Someone has actually found this answer offensive? I mean, I had an answer that was judged offensive (-100 rep). Ok. I censored it, and yet it was found offensive again (-100 rep again :) and now is gone. Ok again. Stupidity is abundant even among programmers. But this answer? Come on, people.
ΤΖΩΤΖΙΟΥ
If you have, say, Aspergers then I could accept that you truly don't understand that such a response annoys people. Otherwise it's called being a "pain in the ass" and is what gives the rest of us in IT a bad name. Stop it.
Ash
This is a constant conversation with my spouse and I as well. We're both guilty of saying "would you like to" when we mean "will you." We're also both guilty of taking the other literally and saying "no" when we'd have been perfectly willing to do the task if asked "will you"
Dinah
When the children ask "Do you want to put on my shoes", I will answer: "No, your shoes are to small for me". (In Dutch this makes sense).
GvS
I have this same affliction.
Redbeard 0x0A
This is actually an AS-trait, and it's not the least uncommon that programmers share a heap of similar traits of that of an AS person. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome#Speech_and_language
dsvensson
The real problem is not with simple things such as the OP, what when we get to: "Do you want to eat X?" maybe because she hates X and wants you to eat it, or maybe there's a lot of X, or maybe it's impossible to cook X only for one. "No I don't *want* (but I'll eat it because I also don't care".
J. Pablo Fernández
I did this as a kid, before learning to program. My mother got very very annoyed.
Brian Postow
Just say "No, but if I have to I will." Also, practice on your ducking reflexes, those come in handy.
Bernard
It's even more funny if the person you're talking too is confident that you will get the right way to answer the question ;-)"Do you have a watch?" "Yes" *silence* *wait* "Do you want to know what's the time???"
okoman
+1 to I do this too LOL
Tony R
Thought it was just me.
CLaRGe
Happens to me too...
Daniel
them:"Are you coming or not?" me:"true"
hometoast
Actually, I've started to adapt to my wife's sloppy wording. It gives me more free time to program and not argue ;-)
Subtwo
Also reminds me of the repeated classic line in Naked Gun: "Cigarrette?" "Yes, it is". Or "Cookie?" "Yes, I believe it is"... etc
AviD
Are you gonna clean while I'm away? - Don't think so.
Thomas
@PintSizedCat: You can, if you *believe* that you can.
Thomas
Okay, so of course I also always do this.... BUT I just noticed that my young daughter has started this too...! "Do you want to take a bath or a shower?" "No." And "Do you want to do your homework before or after dinner?" "No." and more...
AviD
I do this too. +1
Dan
It has been years now since anybody in my house has asked me to "give them a hand". It's a shame too, I really loved applauding them. :-)
T.E.D.
It think this is more a "man" thing than a "programmer" thing.
lamcro
I remember reading similar thing in "Hackers: Heroes of the Computer Revolution". Bob Saunders's wife would get annoyed at his husband's "No" every time she asked him "Would you like to help me bring in the groceries?" Until once she exploded and asked him why he said no. "That's a stupid question to ask" Bob replied. "Of course I won't LIKE to help you bring in the groceries. If you ask me if I'll help you bring them in, that's another matter."
Jahanzeb Farooq
Upvoted for a nice, round 512.
Jurily
"Will you take out the garbage?" - "Not necessary. Just get it out of your mind, and the garbage collector will do its job."
gehho
@Tommy Herbert: I...don't get it. I get the point of the xkcd strip, but...the lead-in joke escapes me. =|
David Thomas
@David Thomas: yeah, it doesn't quite work - there are more than three words in the phrase he gives. I just love the aphorism in the fifth panel.
Tommy Herbert
+61  A: 

Working in a mostly male dominated field gives you all kinds of unfortunate bad habits (use your imagination), which only causes the field to be sadly, mostly male dominated.

I also learned about feedback loops.

Doug T.
Hahaha :) Good one, though still sad.
fluffels
...I don't get it.
GWLlosa
Wow, nice one :)
Darth
+871  A: 

When I'm reading a text book I get very frustrated when I can't Ctrl-F and just search for what I'm looking for.

Bill the Lizard
it's either that or looking for the book's menu: Edit -> Search :)
steffenj
as they say, you can't grep dead trees
rmeador
me too.Also, after using google email shortcuts, I've tried to do the same in forums, newsgroups , BUT apart from google groups, I've haven't come across anyone who has these shortcuts.
anjanb
I tried to use CTRL-> Z on a sewing machine once.
Unkwntech
Oooh... this is *so* true. Or just start typing.
asterite
I wish I could CTRL+F the supermarket for what I'm looking for...
Gilles
This is not a bad habit -- it's a good one. You have identified a practical defect in treeware.
Kevin Conner
Agree! By the way, enjoy your gold badge...I just +1'd your post to 100 I believe. :-)
Chris Jester-Young
Agreed!! This happens to me too ;-)
Shoban
+1'd, this has happened to me so many times :|
Russ Frank
Trying to pause movies - or even worse, the news - while watching TV.
Tom
@Tom: I really wanted to see the instant replay at a middle-school football game last week. I feel your pain.
Bill the Lizard
I also get this. I want to Ctrl+F my socks as well
Jonta
@Jonta: I just want to Google for those (my own socks, not yours). :)
Bill the Lizard
Yes! I understand you tottaly!! But instead I try to find the key / in the text. vim guy here
LuRsT
Actually, when I get that urge I go find the book on amazon and search for whatever. I remember doing it a lot in high school in combination with sparknotes. Usually works astoundingly well
Ben
hehe :D sometimes i feel like i can do Ctrl+Z to undo things
Barbaros Alp
@Ben: As far as I can tell, that only works if you bought the book on amazon.
Bill the Lizard
* so true * . . . sometimes it even takes me a minute to realize that ctrl-f won't work on books
Mark
I get the ctrl-F urges the most at the grocery store.
theycallmemorty
This happened to me just 5 minutes ago without even thinking about it! I was looking for something in the kitchen, and in my mind I pressed Ctrl+F and typed the name of the thing that I was looking for.
Esko Luontola
+1 from me, definitely
rpr
I know that feeling very well...
Michael Barth
Only semi-related: sometimes when writing in paper, I write a word I think may be spelled wrong to see if the red squiggly line appears beneath...
Matchu
@Matchu: That used to work in college. The red lines appeared at some point after I turned a paper in to my English professor. It never worked for CS professors for some odd reason...
Bill the Lizard
I would vote this up, but it's at 512 which is a nice, round number. :D
Kaz Dragon
@Kaz Dragon: I wish I could lock the votes. :)
Bill the Lizard
When I screw up in real life, my first reaction is to ctrl->z. It didn't work. So I hit F1.
teh_noob
I wish I could vote this answer up twice! When are the text book companies going to add this feature???
leadingzero
Files in School suck so much when you can't simply Ctrl+F
Kevin D.
ctrl-f?! C'mon! a text search is done with '/'
William Pursell
'C-s'!!!, 'C-f' will just move the cursor to the next character :o :'( (emacs)
kjfletch
You can try to overcome buying an ebook reader
Patrizio Rullo
I know! I always want to do this.
Mk12
I have also felt like they should have a system at supermarket where I can type what I am looking, and it will pinpoint the position on the screen.Regarding ctrl+f books, try to find ebook version. If I can't, then I tend to write down the key ideas from the book, so I can search for it in the future.
Ferruccio
Related to the answer above this, I just got us to 768! Also, I do get very frustrated when I'm forced to skim a written article for a certain keyword. And it amazes me how many people I see doing the same thing with articles while viewing them *in a web browser* (and most often it seems to be with Internet Explorer users).
Wallacoloo
+147  A: 

Fairly often when typing in normal conversation I will end my sentences with semicolons;

:/

Adam
What does "typing in normal conversation" even mean?
Adriano Varoli Piazza
ROFL, I've done that to;
Unkwntech
I do this all the time!
TM
I am with Moranar here... Meaning?
Jacob T. Nielsen
text messages I assume
Grank
0001 BEGIN A FEW DECADES AGO YOU WOULD HAVE 0001 0002 HAD AN IRRESISTIBLE COMPULSION TO BOTH T 0002 0003 YPE AND TALK LIKE THIS IN REAL LIFE. END. 0003
pookleblinky
I was hopeing I could up mod someone with that habit (that I share :)
BCS
I do that all the time too.
baash05
I do that quite a lot too.
Pim Jager
I do that all the time too;
johnc
I've done that before on IM messages;
Osama ALASSIRY
I call that Pascal-itis.
gcrombie
MungingWordsTogether();
Redbeard 0x0A
I'm just waiting for "I'm having(a converation);" or something similar.
stalepretzel
Yeah I have that same problem; :wq
he_the_great
You won't have that problem if you switch to Python
Andrei Taranchenko
I used to do it in my English essays :P
Here Be Wolves
Typing in normal conversation is done in Second Life
Cyberherbalist
i do it too and have no regrets
Berry Tsakala
Lol, i never did that; ... wait
Acron
@Andrei - but try getting indentation to work on these crappy comment boxes!
Daniel Earwicker
@Andrei: Or Visual Basic.
Michael Stum
What about Perl? And its modules.1;
Roman Odaisky
(or Lisp (or Scheme))
Roman Odaisky
A: 

First, not so much programming per say, but I have been caught saying brb instead of saying be right back a few times.

MagicKat
It's "per se". This is a Latin phrase. It translates as "as such".
Peter Wone
I got in the habit of saying "ntb" (not too bad) when someone asked me how I was.
David
+181  A: 

Programming teaches you that the universe is predictable and deterministic. I've personally found that this has shaped my expectations and fed my impatience with people and things that are not.

There's a positive side to this - I think that spending time in an environment where you can't "fudge" the answer or bullS**t your way through (you can't "kind-of" sort a set of integers, and it won't sort unless you tell the computer exactly what to do, and correctly) has sensitized me to b.s. in other environments, from commercials to claims about tax cuts - I just find it much more obvious when people are clearly hand-waving/fudging an answer.

Steve B.
I agree. I've found that I'm much less susceptible to market-speak and political hedging than I used to be. I thought I was just getting old...
Bill the Lizard
Oh I cant agree more. I see right through any sales or marketing pitch, and they hate it when I shoot holes in their attempt. Ever throw logic at a salesperson until they start steaming from the eyeballs? Its great!
Optimal Solutions
hmmm ... i'm not convinced that's programming related, most intelligent people have this realization about commercials or politics or religion sooner or later. In fact, i consider this to be the defining limit of being an intelligent being.
steffenj
Predictable and deterministic? Have you ever written anything with multiple threads? :-)
benzado
"you can't "kind-of" sort a set of integers" --Sure you can, and then we can read about it on thedailywtf.com.
Windows programmer
Computers may be predictable and deterministic, but programming as a career tends to expose you to enough marketing types who are anything but.
Mark Baker
Programming isn't deterministic nowadays anymore :)
Robert Gould
People consider programming as predictable and deterministic... until they are debugging their first unreproducible, intermittent bug.
workmad3
I received a sales call and the salesperson introduced himself with "Hello, my name is X, and I work in the low interest division," to which I replied, "You should work in the high interest division. There's more money there." He hung up on me.
Cristián Romo
I can sure agree with that.
StubbornMule
I take it you've never written a non-deterministic program. You should expand your horizons a bit.
Esteban Araya
@Christian Romo, that is the funniest thing I have read all week. Thank you.
outsyncof
That's funny to me because I just had an argument with a electronics professor about how shooting a bullet at a spinning fan has a 100% predictable outcome as long as you know the variables. He was using that example to explain quantum physics because I asked why everything in it is a "probability."
Bernard
I agree with "Windows programmer": in programming, it's all too easy to come up with a hack that solves the problem most of the time, or only while other assumptions (which ought to be unnecessary) hold. Only a tiny subset of programs are actually proved correct (formally or by exhaustive testing).
j_random_hacker
Come on people. Computers are deterministic machines. If a program appears unpredictable/non-deterministic, it just means you don't know all the determining factors. (This comment is a result of what programming has done to me.)
Ryan Ballantyne
@Ryan - People are deterministic machines. If a person appears unpredictable/non-deterministic, it just means you don't know all the determining factors.
Daniel Earwicker
I'm in software testing as well. That, more than anything, has taught me about uncertainty (requirements, user interfaces, people knowing what they want or what's possible...)
Kimball Robinson
+150  A: 

I want to use regular expressions to search for physical objects.

Mark Biek
I had a big let down when I first realized the term "Google Earth" didn't mean what I first thought it meant.
Bill the Lizard
ROFL. Wouldn't that be nice? I'll be first in line for the Neuromancer-style skull-jacks.
Mark Biek
@ Bill Lizard: Make that an answer instead of comment.. i imagine it would be wild (in terms of upvotes :P )
Mostlyharmless
I think Mark's answer gives it just the right context. :)
Bill the Lizard
Someone was late to a meeting once - his excuse was "Sorry I'm late. Had to grep the flat for the carkeys!"
Andrew Edgecombe
Now you have two problems.
Lawrence Johnston
@Lawrence Johnston: you beat me to it. By about a month. :-)
alastairs
... and @alastairs beat me by another month.
Brad Gilbert
@brad, You didn't really beat me to it by two days (since I didn't thought of it). I just don't want to break the flow. (Next!)
Pim Jager
This is particularly useful when you're reading physical books.Unfortunately, it is a paper TODO.
luiscubal
@Brad: You beat me to it by another month.
Bryan Anderson
How would you search for a hamster?
HyperCas
Hehe wouldn't it be so much easier if everything was a row in an indexed database ;-).
Mk12
Maybe RegExp is what separates good programmers from novice. Its a problem for novice, solution for the good programmer.
+370  A: 

I google everything.

Jake
... even when not near a computer.
Jared Updike
ADD: ... and wikipedia the rest.
steffenj
so… how often do you google everything? Do you get varied results between searches? Because the wikipedia article sure isn't much fun.
ΤΖΩΤΖΙΟΥ
Isn't that a good thing? Instead of leaving all those things unknown?
Kevin Conner
Like they say... If it ain't in google it does not exist.
Marcin Gil
So... how often do you google yourself?
Tom
I do it. It is not because programming, it is because they are great.
Dennis Cheung
I wish I could fave this. I started Googling everything programming related for work/school. Now any question that _ever_ pops up in conversation gets Googled.
lush
Yep. Googling everything is a habit here too.
Sukasa
"ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME?" -- "Hangon, lemme Google that quickly."
Jonathan C Dickinson
Just everything? What about life, and the universe? You use yahoo for those, or live search?
AviD
Come to think of it, what would be the answer to JUST everything? Im not sure 42 can be separated into its individual components...
AviD
My brother-in-law (also a programmer) googles perfectly good URLs, "hmm...I'm gonna check facebook" (opens FF, home page is google) -> googling www.facebook.com...click top link.
McAden
@McAden: I do that too. After about the 10th time I hit a cybersquatter by misspelling a URL or getting the TLD wrong, I quit typing in URLSs manually
T.E.D.
Are you aware of services like opendns, that correct your url spelling errors for you transparently? http://www.opendns.com/
Sneakyness
@McAden it always impresses me how many people give you a website reference by saying "google (subject) then click that" or worse: "open internet and type (subject)".
streetpc
@AviD: For the really deep, intellectual stuff, there's always Yahoo Answers.
Sean O'Hollaren
@AviD Sure you can separate 42 into it's individual components. The real difficulty is determining which of 7, 3, and 2 are Life, the Universe, and Everything.... Oh god I've made a joke involving prime factors.
Sector Corrupt
Me too! I google absolutely everything that I wonder about.
Mk12
I cannot upvote this enough
BlueRaja - Danny Pflughoeft
absolutely, and usually followed by "wiki", because I hate the flash that is on most vendor web sites
Chris
"How can you two live like this?" (typing) "How ... can ... you ... two ..." "Don't google the question, Moss!" --The IT Crowd, "The Red Door"
Joe
+16  A: 

I used to work in a Fortran shop that had a lot of Chinese programmers. I noticed that they used the word "continue" in normal conversation a lot more that a native English speaker would.

Paul Tomblin
Can you expound on that? Continue. :)
Scott Alan Miller
I hear that we have a lot more breaks in the West.
JeeBee
+188  A: 

I find that sometimes I speak very precisely, and get irritated when somebody (usually my wife) doesn't appreciate the precision of what I said, and treats what I said kind-of sort-of similar to what I said.

Like when I'm cooking and she hands me the margarine: I didn't mean, "hand me anything yellow out of the refrigerator," I meant, "hand me the butter."

cmause
LOL. I've got the same problem too!
Jon Limjap
It's even more annoying when you say something precise to a programmer and they don't get it; a good example is the difference between a declaration and a definition.
Cristián Romo
the senate keeps wasting their time with laws relating to iraq and wallstreet, while margarines stay yellow. it infuriates me.
wilhelmtell
My grandfather always says "so in other words ...". One time I actually said to him "No, in those exact words."
Brad Gilbert
Sometimes I will spend over a minute trying to remember the specific word that will accurately describe what I want to say.
Brad Gilbert
@Brad: Me too... but then the moment's been missed.
BenAlabaster
It does hurt when you are thoughtful in putting your words together only for it to go unappreciated and simplified into an unintended meaning. Although I don't blame programming for that, I blame the English language.
Bernard
ohh the great lie that made so many of us believe that Margarine == Butter. That a bit like saying Water == Paint.
Toby Allen
Get your own butter, you lazy biatch! ;-)
Scott Ferguson
same problem here, too, I'm trying to manage conversations with more of a fuzzy logic now.
Maximiliano Guzman
This next song doesn't go something like this it goes EXACTLY like this.
CodeFusionMobile
@Toby Allen: Notice how you use double equals signs ;-).
Mk12
As a slightly more positive corollary of this, I've found I really enjoy reading stuff by people who talk about ordinary, everyday ideas with precision -- especially concise, *orthogonal* descriptions where each part of the description covers a distinct aspect of the subject. One person who does this exceptionally well is Eric S. Raymond. Also Raymond Chen and Paul Graham.
j_random_hacker
+218  A: 

Always being on the lookout for bugs in programs, or things that just don't look right, I find bugs in everything, especially TV shows. My wife LOVES it when I rewind a show ten or fifteen seconds to point out something that's not right. She would give me so much crap about it that I escalated and started keeping a laser pointer next to my chair so I could pause the show and "circle" the offending item with the laser.

Funny, the laser disappeared one day while I was at work... curious.

cmause
All the time :)I usually get the response "it's just an advert for God's sake!" from my wife, followed by the silent treatment.
Sprogz
Yup I am in the same boat here!
Jacob T. Nielsen
I do that with movies. Bad thing is my dad facilitates and my sister and mother hate it :b
BCS
A laser... what a fantastic idea. I'm going to start using that to point out errors in projected PowerPoint slides.
Michael Petrotta
For kicks, you should have started using the laser pointer on her, specifically pointing out her bugs.
Rorschach
It disappeared? That's probably a bug in the matter locality inferer. You should investigate.
peterchen
I always see the bug or flaws in everything and often I have the unfortunate habit of pointing them out. Unless they agree, people don't like that.
Bernard
Do it in moderation... once in a while ;)
HyperCas
You probably wore out the laser.
GoatRider
I just feel compelled to point out the problems in episodes of Monk.
David Thornley
Dude! You debug TV shows with laser? That's as cool (1337?) as you can get!
Leo Jweda
@Michael Petrotta Yes, do that.. while people are still presenting. Will we see you on the next WWDC?
karlphillip
"Funny, the laser disappeared one day while I was at work... curious." -- well, was it funny or was it curious or was it both? Or, as I suspect, was it neither and you redundantly employed two ways of expressing irony? :)
onedaywhen
+58  A: 

I wish I could grep my keys.

davethegr8
find house -type item -name *keys*
ΤΖΩΤΖΙΟΥ
for i in $(cat /home/all_of_my_stuff); do grep keys $i; done
Scott Alan Miller
the way this is worded for comedic effect (vaguely inaccurate but a perfect sound) gets a definite up-vote from me!
Grank
heh, my first thought was 'damn, he must have a big key ring...'
jacobsee
Back in the "beeper days" I would hook my keys on my beeper before setting them down. That way I was just a phone call away from finding them.
LaJmOn
grep 'keys' * (assuming you could have lost them anywhere).
Dennis
Bah. I put a hook up next to the door to hang my keys on (and a larger one for my backpack I keep my wallet/planner in. As long as I make *sure* to always hang my stuff up first thing when I get home, keys and wallet are never a problem. Of course if someone else uses them and doesn't put them back, there's hell to pay...
T.E.D.
I pidgin-hole my keys... raddix sort is quite fast for most things in real life.
Ape-inago
I read this and thought, “huh? What do you need to grep for on your keyboard?” I only got it while reading the comments.
Timwi
+82  A: 

Because of the programming mindset, I tend to say exactly what I mean (even if other human beings tend not to throw syntax errors or other exceptions so lightly :). The problem is, when others tend to ask me something but they mean something else, I tend to get irritated. If I'm in a good mood, I will attempt to be helpful, à la:

  • This?
  • Do you mean that?
  • Yes.
  • Answer.

However, and more often than not, I tend to reply to the question as they asked it, which typically is not very well accepted (ask my mother-in-law :)

  • This? (while meaning That)
  • Yes. (or No, or whatever other terse reply, but if it can be replied by a Yes/No, I always answer Yes or No. I occasionally use mu when appropriate and let them wonder).
  • Yes? How can it be?
  • It's your answer.
  • But I asked that.
  • No, you asked this, and yes is the answer.
  • But I meant that!
  • Then you should have asked that. etc

Awful, isn't it?

PS The author of this answer is an ● Offender.

ΤΖΩΤΖΙΟΥ
I also use mu. Probably more than I should ;)
Azim
I prefer to say yine and leave it at that.
Erin
I use 'mu' - and then qualify it by saying 'The question cannot be answered as posed.'
staticsan
…and my other reply was *again* found to be offensive, even after I censored it! Impressive.
ΤΖΩΤΖΙΟΥ
I was once rejected for jury duty when I smirked because the lawyer asked a yes/no question which had exactly the opposite meaning that she was trying to express.
William Pursell
+405  A: 

It's ruined my ability to read normal English without wanting to hurt someone.

Punctuation now infuriates me. For example:

She asked around (quietly.)

Is apparently the correct way to write a sentence that ends in a bracketed phrase. But my brain refuses to accept it.

Also, unterminated quote characters (which is, I'm told, perfectly acceptable when quoting larger passages) make me want to stab people in the eyes.

Dan
That's not what I was taught in grade school..
Kip
To be honest, I'm not completely sure if that's the right way, the wrong way or one of those matters-of-style things. All I know is I see it everywhere!
Dan
Well, they're not really unterminated, you'll just have another leading quote at the beginning of a paragraph. Just in case someone forgot the initial quote. Imagine if programming languages were like that...
JesperE
I was taught that quotes work the way you used parenthesis: She asked around "quietly." I think in British English it is standard to put the punctuation outside of the quotes though.
Kip
@Kip Yeah, I use the British style because it makes more sense (even though I'm American). To me, the American style is like saying String myString = "Hello;"
Michael Myers
Even in American English, most recent style guides will accept the punctuation outside the quotes if it's not part of the quote (i.e. emphasizing a word means punctuation outside, quoting a full senteces means inside). That's the rule I always follow.
rmeador
Good to know. I have this terrible tendency to only follow rules if they make sense to me (although it also depends on how much trouble I might get into by breaking them).
Michael Myers
The punctuation goes outside if the sentence is outside: She asked around (quietly). (She asked around quietly.) She asked around (quietly!). But for quotes the rule is different: She asked around "quietly." in the US, but She asked around "quietly". in the UK.
Kyralessa
Stupid Americanism. It makes me nuts (and I'm from there!).
Mark Bessey
@mmyers: lots of us only follow the rules that make sense, which eventually leads to the rules changing to make more sense. unfortunately, new rules that don't make sense will keep getting invented too.
Kip
Fortunately the punctuation is outside in spanish too: Ella preguntó ( calladamente ).
OscarRyz
What Kyralessa said goes in the US as well, at least so far as I was taught. If not, well, that's what I've used for years now like mmyers!
The Wicked Flea
I too cannot stand punctuation within a string "literal". It just seems perverse.
pookleblinky
What I would really like, but use it sparingly, is to make parallel stuff more explicit with parens. For example: The soccer balls are (red and blue), (blue and gold), or (black and white). Yes, I was taught proper grammar, but I've been un-learning around the edges b/c of work.
benc
The period/comm inside the quote/parentheses has to be the worst rule ever.
Kevin
Federico Ramponi
Federico Ramponi
Federico Ramponi
Isn't it "She asked around (quietly)."?
Sandor Davidhazi
Whilst we're here, can someone tell me how to end a phrase in parentheses with a smiley?
Bobby Jack
(I try for something like this. :-) )
Rob Howard
I'm sure no one is going to read this, but I just had to post the reason for the punctuation-inside-the bracket rule. It came about because early printing presses had very thin plates for the comma and period. They would tend to break off if they weren't supported by larger characters on either side
e.James
Ant P.
Damn it, it didn't work.
Brad Gilbert
I don't find the unclosed quotes when quoting multiple paragraphs annoying, because there's a well-defined syntax and it disambiguates between consecutive paragraphs spoken by the same person or by different people, while providing a useful reminder that you're still reading a long quotation.
Weeble
@Sandor Davidhazi: Isn't it "Isn't it 'She asked around (quietly)?'" (Postscript: I hate when terminating punctuation collapses this way, but that's the rule, as I learned it.)
eyelidlessness
http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/parens.asp It's simple (to do that is). (But not that simple.) Or is it (Really, it is.)?
jacobangel
Method 3 is definitely a new inclusion, possibly this side of 2000. ...A bit like people starting a sentence with 3 dots
Chris S
:D :D unterminated quote characters are my worst enemy :D had a good laugh reading this :)
Peter Perháč
haha, it's nice to know that I'm not alone with this one. :)
Kyle W. Cartmell
I'm pretty sure that rule applies for quotation marks only.She asked around "quietly."For parens, it depends on if the whole sentence is enclosed.Full sentences have punctuation within. (This is an example.)The punctuation is outside otherwise (under normal grammar rules).
Matchu
+1 just for the round number 256!
Spoike
For punctuation with quotation marks, I put them where they logically should go. It drives at one of my friends (a linguistics nerd) batty.
Geerad
I always follow the rule: "put whatever belongs to the quotes/parentheses inside, everything else outside". The quote is only part of the sentence and the . belongs to the sentence, not the quote.
Dan
@Bobby Jack: there's an xkcd for that: http://www.xkcd.com/541/
Jared Updike
@Bobby Jack - Just put your smiley outside the parens. It will still get your point across pretty well (and won't break your parens). :-)http://blog.jonschneider.com/2006/02/smileysemoticons-and-parenthesis.html
Jon Schneider
@Bobby Jack Jon why don't you just use unicode (something like this ☺)
jes5199
"Logical punctuation" is accepted now, so you CAN do "X (y)." or "x 'y'.'" when it's not really "x 'y.'."' I'd be surprised if "x 'y.'." is now acceptable, though it should be.
Lee B
Same here! It really bugs me how quotation marks are improperly nested, like how if you have multiple paragraphs of a person talking constantly, you open quotes at the start of each paragraph but only close on the last one. And inside the quotes, it sort of is and sort of isn't a second-level sentence. For example: `He said, "Hi."` -- you never "close" the first, outer sentence with a period.
Mk12
@Bobby Jack the best way is to use a \ to escape the brackets of the :), so your grammar checker won't raise an exception! (it works. :\))
Joschua
+1146  A: 

I now consider 256 to be a nice, round number. Occasionally I'm caught off-guard when non-programmers don't get that.

Kip
I frankly prefer 1024 - but I get your point.
rshimoda
I thought about saying that one too, but I figured 256 is further from any number "normal" people would consider "round."
Kip
I always choose locker #32,42,64 or 3digit combos like 512... my normal friends can never figure out why.
Mostlyharmless
i prefer 127 ... guess i'm living on the edge, huh? ;)
steffenj
4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128, 256, 512, 1024, 2048, 4096... They all work from me.Wait is it bad that I know all those and more off the top of my head?
Unkwntech
No. If you knew 1 073 741 824 or 17 179 869 184, say, then I'd be worried.
Mark Baker
@Mostlyharmless I do that too!
nickf
@Mostlyharmless: "My normal friends...", lol that says a lot I think!
Carl
@Carl: its does... it does.
Mostlyharmless
+1 to what Unkwntech said!
Eikern
Five minutes ago, I looked at my reputation and saw 256. I found myself thinking: "Hey! I want it to stay that way!"
Tomas Sedovic
this answer had 128 points, but since i like it and voted it up, all is in ruins....
DarenW
Hopefully this answer will get to 256 and stay there.
Bill the Lizard
47 more upvotes to go
Kevin
And we're at eleven.
Ace
so close . . . one more
cciotti
Damn, I want to upvote this, but 256 is such a nice number of votes..
Daniel Magliola
Down-modded for exceeding 256...
Justin Bozonier
Down modded for exceeding 256 :-)
torial
Down modded for exceeding 256.
DrFloyd5
So this is why my reputation started jumping all over the place yesterday!
Kip
SO needs the option so you can lock voting on an answer. This might be the one and only application of that feature. :)
Bill the Lizard
I couldn't bring myself to vote this up... 256 IS such a nice number
Greg
Downvoted to 256...
Jason Bunting
We are such dorks... Lol
Erik Forbes
Voted you down, but can't make it to 256, anyone else?
Bill K
-1 in an attempt to restore this answer to its well-deserved glory.
e.James
-1 (no offense, it was >256)
ojrac
Ah. Now it is at 265, which is nice for the dyslexic.
tvanfosson
Lets help out and get it down to 256 again!
Claes Mogren
I seem to like 32768 and 65536 for nice round 5-digit numbers.
Osama ALASSIRY
trying to get this answer to 512
Schalk Versteeg
get this answer down to 256 votes please, should be a nice round number ...
Pop Catalin
Down modded for exceeding 256 :-)
Gunnar Steinn
Downmodded from 270, per the podcast.
Matt Miller
Somehow I think it should go to 512. Upvoting. ;)
Pascal Paradis
Downmodded back down from 270.
Eli Courtwright
Yes, up to 512. then 1024, then 2048, then 4096... then 4294967296... What is interesting is the higher numbers don't feel as "round" as the lower ones. 4294967296 for example just feel hurtful. Maybe I just haven't memorised them all yet :-p
widgisoft
downmodding back to 256 :)
Kaiser Advisor
downmodded per the cast
Ben Aston
Lets try and vote it up past 4294967296 - eventually it will wrap around and everyone on SO will get negative infinity points
1800 INFORMATION
downmodded back to 256 per the podcast
Grant Wagner
Downmodded back to 256, again
Brant Bobby
The joke is running for months and people still don't get it?! Aahhhh!
Anthony Mastrean
Sorry that I had to vote it down to 255, but compared to the podcast, I really want to save memory by making sure the vote count fits in one byte.
Roalt
I would downvote but it's christmas!
Martin Beckett
Lets get it to 512, and leave it there.
Brad Gilbert
+1, going for 512.
Michael Myers
The post mentions 256, not 512, so let's shoot for that. -1 from me in that effort.
Alan
-1, come, let's get it back to 256!
sjbotha
"Vote too old to be changed, unless post is edited" Sorry cant help :S
Ólafur Waage
Jeff, can you cludge this :)
johnc
512 here we come!
George Stocker
ALRIGHT! Lets go to 512.
Mostlyharmless
Whoa, I do that too. I always grab locker #256 at the gym. Just seemed so obvious and easy to remember.
Anirvan
Upvoted..c'mon lets make it 512.
Naveen
I saw my reputation reach exactly 4096 and was so excited that I blogged about it: http://www.cutthechatter.com/2009/01/geek-humour.html
Graeme Perrow
fyi.. i edited the question in case anyone wants to change their vote or something..
Kip
Damn you all to COBOL! 256!
johnc
Hey, this has 64 comments! ...Oops.
Michael Myers
256 You Fools! She's breaking up, she can't handle it!
johnc
HAHAHAH, I just finished explaining the significance of this number after noticing my girlfriend was on page 256 of her book. I received nothing but blank "OMG your a geek" stares.
Mario
I was married on 5/12... my wife thinks it's because 12 is a lucky number for both of us (we were both born on twelfth days) but it's really because 10/24 wasn't a weekend day.
Steve Paulo
+1, let's go for 512!
vmarquez
well I consider 255 to be better and I find it even (not odd) sometimes
Xolve
-1 we gotta keep it at 512 sorry.
bendewey
Downmodded to keep you at 512 ;)
Dan
Obsessive Compulsion can be fun. -1 for 512.
Cannonade
wow, I can't believe all you guys here have agreed to keep it 512, and it's still 512 (I unvoted my vote while reading through the comments)... I totally support that, and I'm even a bit proud not being the one who ruined it by not reading the comments... "giving support by not voting"... :)
Dragoljub
+1 because it took me awhile to figure out the joke... sat here thinking, "But it *is* a round number..."
Don Werve
downmoded for 512
Eric Palakovich Carr
-1 To keep it at 512. :)
Don Werve
Someone screwed up, twice (514).
Tom
-1 for 512! (now it's 516)
Esko Luontola
We need to vote it down to 512!
Zifre
Ahhh! 2^x anything works for me!
Lucas Jones
@Zifre or vote it up to 1024... But really I prefer 255 to 256 :-)
chakrit
I prefer 1000...as long as it's in hex
plaureano
+1, Mission 1024 :)
aJ
@Steve Paulo: happy anniversary. Wow, an anniversary so easy to remember, even people who don't know your wife can remember the date.
outis
Upvoted to 640 - that should be enough for anyone :P
BenAlabaster
I can't believe this
Carson Myers
why not, carson?
Kip
+1, target 1024
Ionuț G. Stan
I am getting married on 10/24 of this year!
Bryan Watts
congratulations! my sister-in-law's birthday is 10/23, i told her the first time i heard her birthday that was 2^10-1 and she looked at me like i was weird.
Kip
Bah, now let's get to 768
GMan
Close one, 9 to go.
Dykam
+1 Performing my civic duty.
Fake Code Monkey Rashid
I put $1.29 in my pocket and thought, "I have two bits."
Kelly French
My wife signed up in a network marketing business and her rep id was 01270016. I couldn't explain to her why I thought her number was so funny -- she thinks I'm nuts anyway, so it's OK.
Cyberherbalist
Maybe we can just edit the question to reflect whatever base 2 the votes are reaching
johnc
I find it funny that more people don't know the square root of 256 is 16 and the square is 65536
Matthew Whited
The "I was married on 5/12.." comment has now 127 upvotes. :)
Esko Luontola
0xff looks much better
Vereb
You know you're a programmer when you has emotional feelings towards powers of 2. We should have an argument over such one is the bes. I vote for 64.
Mk12
+1 to get it to exactly 999 - and for no other reason :)
Mark Schultheiss
I made the 1000.
Behrooz
My cell phone number consists of the answer to life, the universe, and everything, concatenated with a nice, round power of two.Now, every single time I tell someone my number, I look for the tiniest twinkle of 'I get it' in their eyes, but noone ever does.
Jens Roland
whoever changes this vote from 1024 will surely die a slow painful death.
dotjoe
@dotjoe: i flagged it asking a moderator if voting on the questions could be frozen, but i'm not sure if that's how locking works...
Kip
@Kip lol - I'll try to get all comment votes to a power of 2
dotjoe
Apparently I've already been here and voted up this answer -- good to know I am contributing to the awesome. Now I wonder what would happen if I took the vote off....
Carson Myers
32767 is most perfect number , if you want to use 32768. how about count it from -32768
sunglim
+1 256 is a great number. What was the question about again?
Pekka
it's not a bad habit, it startles non-programmers when you try to explain boundaries to them and you can recite numbers like 2,147,483,647 and not even look like you care. What do you want us to say, we use the damn thing, so we get used to it...
haylem
+13  A: 

You tend to become very logical and with a highly developed memory, and it can be a very large pain in the butt when dealing with people in the real world (outside of other very logical folks), such as behind the deli counter (dont ever ask for 1/3 of a pound of anything!) or the post office, or the my God - you're toast if you go to Mc Donalds and dont order by number. They have no clue as to how to convert what you ordered to their number key for the "value meal" on their register (i.e. memory)..

Optimal Solutions
I totally asked for 1/3 of a pound of something at the deli while on the phone with my wife and she screamed DID YOU JUST ASK FOR A 1/3 POUND! wHAT THE HELL?? and at that point I realized the clerk was looking at me like I'd spoken in german.
Bill K
I actually find that McDonalds cashiers do a really good job 99% of the time.
TM
I really don't get the ⅓ pound issue and the reactions to it. Note: I'm not a Merkin (US American).
ΤΖΩΤΖΙΟΥ
I've confused the folks at the Deli counter by asking for odd amounts of food. They have the decimal equivalents for 1/2 and 1/4 memorized, but anything else just mystifies them. And don't even try asking for 2.75 pounds of ham.
Mark Bessey
Related to the previous, I once ordered two pizzas cut into 5 slices each (there were 5 of us, so it made perfect sense to me). They tried, but weren't particularly successful.
Mark Bessey
It's quite entertaining to go to a fast food place and point toward the menu and request a "Kid's Chicken Fun Pack." Watch them look back and forth at the register and their menu until they finally say in a puzzled tone, "I think that's a seasonal item." Priceless.
Cristián Romo
Forcing them to make change _your way_ > *
pookleblinky
@Mark Slicing a pizza in 10 pieces are far easier.
Oddmund
I don't think programming develops memory. I still have a terrible one. In programming remembering things is not required when you can google, search docs, look up code, or whatever, whenever you need it.
nlaq
actually, I've never had a problem ordering 2/3 lb of lunch turkey...
Brian Postow
@mark, @oddmund, I'm surprised at you guys - slicing a pizza into *8* slices just feels right! The "others" finally did something good, dont knock it... ;-)
AviD
@Brian Postow: You consume 2/3 lb of turkey for lunch? I'd be asleep by 2pm! :-)
Optimal Solutions
Argh! I can't even *imagine* ordering food by number. No matter how hard the fast food companies try, those are *people* on the other side of the counter.
Alex Brault
@AviD: 8 feels right because its a power of 2. Doesn't 2,4,8,16,32,64,128,256,512,1024 make you feel happy?
Mk12
+3  A: 

When someone explains a problem they had (flat tire, wrong bank statements, bills) I can't help but imagine a sequence of states and actions which move that person from one container to the next (where he/he will have other actions to move to other containers).

It is kind of weird but it helps when you want to give someone options to get out of a problem.

rshimoda
+119  A: 

Lack of sleep, which I now kind of accept as a way of life, but probably shouldn't be..

ChalkTrauma
I feel your pain. It's almost 3am here and it's hard to drag myself away from this Java code.
EnderMB
Try sleep(). Oh, wait...
sli
Me too.. 03:29 AM :((
Andrei Rinea
have a hobbie, or sweat it up at the gym/pool... that's your brain not coping well with a stressed mind and fat body!
jpinto3912
But is that due to programming or being on SO all night? ;)
musicfreak
@musicfreak same thing?
chakrit
Reminds me of a postdoc.
RamyenHead
+31  A: 

Two one-off NSFW events (translated into English):

I was staring a beautiful sunset with an old girlfriend. It was beautiful, but I rarely need to express verbally my admiration, I tend to just enjoy. She asked me, "don't you like it?". I said, "yes". "Yes? that's it? haven't you got something more to say?". I said, "It's got a fucking great resolution."

Same gf, and we had a semi-heated discussion about each own's free time, and how much time I was spending with a computer. Later on, when we were more relaxed and she was calmer, her being in my arms with her back towards me, I touched her breast and double-clicked her nipple.

Hope you don't have issues with profanity or things having to do with sex.

EDIT: since it's not immediately obvious: I tend to make jokes about computing. Sometimes they are not jokes. OK, I apply computer thinking into real-life.

ΤΖΩΤΖΙΟΥ
Did anyone else open the revision history to defeat the censor nazis?
tsilb
I did. -----------
Echo
I did too. The double-click thing is AMAZING!! X-D
Konamiman
I'd rather scroll it instead of double clicking.
Marcel Gheorghita
@Marcel: your joke aside, scroll wheels were inexistant back then, so I had not many options :)
ΤΖΩΤΖΙΟΥ
+13  A: 

Starting weird conversations with colleagues by making completely illogical or straight-out confusing remarks about whatever they're currently talking about, deliberately twisting and mixing their topics or words and saying something about what i pretend to have understood they were talking about while at the same time enjoying how they try to make sense of it and seeing in their faces the questions wether i'm really serious about this - which of course i am - even though most of the time i just make terrible, terrible jokes - on purpose.

I also write confusingly long-winded sentences that are hard to follow.

This is my way of dealing with the logical and predictable world we program in. No, you don't call that living. Or do you? Tss, tss...

steffenj
If I find someone who holds an option I disagree with (even slightly) I tend to argue the point nut not because I want to change there mind. Just so that I can understand where they are coming from.
BCS
When writing, I edit so non linearly that I can create sentences that run to full paragraphs. Heck when I was about 5 a relative commented "If you actually pay attention long enought to understand him, he's got interesting things to say". At 5yr?! :b
BCS
+13  A: 

Drink too much diet coke 4 | 5 cans a day!!!

Honestly, only 4/5ths of a can a day isn't that bad.
Simucal
-0.8 is even better
Shawn Simon
i think he means 4 or 5 CANS a day
Jason Miesionczek
@Atmospherian I think they are being cynical :)
Fabio Gomes
Before I swore off caffeine I was drinking 12-16 cans of Diet Dr. Pepper every day. I gave it up and actually feel much better because of it.
StubbornMule
drinking -4 cans of liquid does dehydrate one so.
Jimmy
i used to drink 2 litres of coke on hot days. it only works whilst your young, enjoy it whilst it lasts :)
louism
Pfft, I drink one Mountain Dew per waking hour; plus one per meal.
tsilb
How do you use the pipe here. I didn't know 5 was a command.
Brian Carlton
You mean (4 **||** 5) cans a day??
Mk12
You're redundant. `4|5 = 5`
porneL
4|5 == 0b100 | 0b101 = 0b101 = 5
Razor Storm
+290  A: 

I start counting with 0 and often times end up with 1 less than everyone else comes up with.

NotDan
ObRef: The Hacker FAQ ( http://www.mattandharry.com/essays/Hacker%20FAQ.php ) and the Manager FAQ ( http://www.mattandharry.com/essays/Manager%20FAQ.php )
ΤΖΩΤΖΙΟΥ
Been there done that, more then once, I have the t-shirt the coffee cup, and the pen.
Unkwntech
Methinks you're confusing ordinals with cardinals then...
rix0rrr
I do the same thing.
Nick Gerakines
The solution to this is to start using Ada. Then you can start counting at 1, or even 17 if you like.
T.E.D.
the solution is to start with the target number and decrement while not 0... oh wait...
Jimmy
You can start counting on 0, but the total amount of something is still the same: bottle 0, bottle 1, bottle 2, we have 3 bottles.
J. Pablo Fernández
Similarly, I say "from 0 to 1, one -- from 1 to 2, two..."
Joe Philllips
Repeat after me: indexing != counting.
Randolpho
looooooooooooooooooooooooooool
dfa
Then when asked how many items are in an empty set, you can with full knowing say: -1.
MiffTheFox
programmers shouldn't count starting with 0, 0 just means no offset from the original pointer/ mem address. Counting should still be done starting at 1.
Ape-inago
I recently finished painting my baby's room with the alphabet and some numbers on the wall. I wanted to start the numbers at 0 but couldn't convince my wife; she shut down the idea at the last minute.
Ryan Anderson
You must have serious problems with arrays.
James Jones
That should be "1 fewer".
Nikhil Chelliah
It annoys me when someone counts seconds starting at 1, i.e. says "one" as soon as the thing starts. That is a situation when you DO count from zero; you have to wait a second to get to 1.
DisgruntledGoat
Thats what i told the police officer
Elijah Glover
+134  A: 

I'm very methodical when doing practically anything around the house.

For example, I thoroughly read any manual that comes with a product I've bought, even something as simple as a toaster, before using it.

If I'm going to hang a picture frame, I'll google "hang picture frame" to verify that I know how to do it correctly (or I'll look for a book at Amazon about picture-frame hanging).

I'll gather all necessary tools before starting a task. I do a lot of measuring and experimentation before committing to any action that is not easily undoable.

This drives my wife nuts.

Kristopher Johnson
You call yourself an engineer - you never read the manual for any equipement until a) there's smokecoming out of it AND b) you will get blamed!
Martin Beckett
or c) you've taken it apart, put it back together and you need to check that it still meets the spec...
Carl
I have the manual reading problem too.
Nick Masao
Manual Reading is NOT a problem!
Yuvi
or d) you take it apart, put it back together and have parts left over.
BCS
We have a serious issue with toasters breaking so my dad read the full manual for this latest one and went around quoting it to everyone in the house before they were allowed to use it.
sieben
I don't do any of that. If it goes wrong I can always undo.
_Lasar
It happens to me everytime I work on my car
Frederic Morin
This reminds me of my habit of thoroughly researching stuff I buy. Like cameraequipment. I get so angry when I hear people wanting to buy a camera or something and they haven't done the faintest of research on say, how to decide and how to buy and where to buy it.
Jonta
lol RTFM doesn't work that good in the real world :)
dr. evil
I'm actually envious of people who can go out and buy a piece of equipment without wasting a whole bunch of time optimizing the decision.
GoatRider
I thought Comp Sci/Tech people were always the opposite. Never read any manuals unless you really can't figure it out after a few days of brute forcing and trial and error.
Dennis
Usually when I'm about to write a function that I'm not familiar with, I'll Google other people's solutions because, while mine might work, their's might cover something I hadn't though of. This would be the same for say, hanging a picture frame.
T Pops
I agree with Dennis. If you can't figure out how to use the toaster without reading the manual then the toaster UI was poorly designed.
DisgruntledGoat
If you know anything about the real world, it's that your toaster was not designed by the world's best engineer and that you better read that manual if you want to get the entire "toaster experience."
James Jones
I did the the same when hanging a mirror recently, for the very same reason: it's hard to undo drilling holes in the wall at the wrong places... Similarly, my GF didn't appreciate the careful planning.
Zsolt Török
I fire up a 3D modeling program to plan living room rearrangements.
tsilb
Reading manual is like admitting defeat! How can you call your self a programmer or even a man if you can't figure out how stuff works by brute force and trial and error? :D
Kimble
If my house had a version-control system, I'd be less methodical.
Kristopher Johnson
I do that too. I'm always surprised when people tell me 'techies' don't read manuals; that button with the means-nothing emblem on it could do anything! And you'll feel like a proper idiot when it burns down the house.
Phil
+96  A: 

We use to have a lot of Quake tournaments at the office. I distinctly remember driving home one day after a particularly long match. I caught sight of something in a tree as I drove by it.

The first thought that ran through my head was: Sniper! If I spin the car around, I can get off a shot before he sees me!

Ferruccio
Amen, brother. For me it's Halo. I cannot walk into a room without assessing exits-routes, lanes of fire and in-room cover in a single visual scan. I do not like standing near doors and windows and I am always vaguely disappointed when I enter a new room and there isn't any ammunition.
Peter Wone
LOL i know exactly what you mean :)
Jason Miesionczek
I played too much burnout takedown one week and then hopped in the car to go somewhere and realised I was driving irrationally fast and aggressively... video games are bad.
Grank
Always wanting to powerslide around turns in a real car after playing MarioKart for a while is a bad thing, right?
Cristián Romo
I've been playing Tremulous lately, like team DM plus RTS elements (base building), and the speed at which you can be killed by the aliens is scary. Just the other day I nearly fell out of my chair when looking over my virtual shoulder... and that's just in-game!
The Wicked Flea
hehehe! After playing Road Rash I went for a ride on my bycicle and misjudged a distance to a stopped van. I dent it with my face. :-)
Artur Carvalho
I knew there was a reason I don't own a car! (besides gas prices)
BCS
For me it was Carmaggedon...Kept thinking if I pull the e-brake and side slide into those people crossing the street I'd get a load of extra style points.
Webjedi
Oh, yeah, walking down the street and thinking "awesome graphics" is another one ...
Jim T
I always have to give myself a car safety talk before I drive home after a little Call of Duty action in the office.
ykaganovich
If you think those are bad influences, you've never played tetris for 12 hours in a row...
Ant P.
Halo!! Carmageddon.. I have also experienced these..
alex
Not quite related to programming... but there are many times when I've seen the Red Alert targeting reticule, or wished I had the Metal Gear Solid Eye!
SkippyFire
Natural Selection has a beacon the Commander uses to teleport the team back to home base. After a late night of NS I was struggling to work, buying breakfast when the store's oven timer went off, sounding just like the beacon. I actually said "Nooo! Don't beacon! I'm nearly there!!!"
Chris Latta
Me too! but for me its COD4 plus I am also a vet.
John Isaacks
and you call yourselves programmers?
Dragoljub
After playing Burnout Takedown for a number of days I'd find myself calculating how many points I could score for the most spectacular crash every time I approached an intersection. I had to stop playing before things started getting dangerous.
BenAlabaster
Every time I've played GTA for more than a few hours, I remembered why it's a good thing I don't have a driver's license. Plus, fighting off the urge to jack cars at traffic lights. And let's not even start about Tetris and packing for journeys. But this isn't really programming-related is it?
Alan
thought to right "carmagedon", but then i horrified to realize i'm not the only one! IT'S DANGEROUS! was playing 6 hours strait and once i've hit the road, i had to stop for few minutes again, and recalibrate myself.
Berry Tsakala
+1 the same with me about Q3 Arena
zdmytriv
After an hour or so playing Mario Kart on the DS I had to drive somewhere. Thank God I realised that my car won't jump and power slide round sharp bends, before it was too late ;)
DisgruntledGoat
+12  A: 

I have referred to the part of the grocery store where the food is sold (as opposed to the lightbulbs, flowers, detergent, etc.) as a subset of rows.

Supermarkets are laid out in such a way that you can usually narrow it down to where your food isn't. At some point in the store, the items stop being food and tend to be things like mops and detergent, until you hit the wall where the frozen stuff is. Then on the other end of the store tend to be things like produce and the deli/florist/pharmacy. So I had the Velveeta narrowed down to a subset of rows, but I went up and down these rows repeatedly. Add to this the fact that I'm getting more hungry, tired and flustered and the situation started to really suck.

Schnapple
Supermarket navigation is definitely an O(n^2) operation for me...
Erik Forbes
It's the fact they change where things are like utter bastards. You get the weekly shop down to a hyper 10 minutes and then they move everything! :O(
Quibblesome
The worrying thing is, I think my wife is starting to treat my use of programming terminology in conversation as completely normal.
Rich
I once searched for 45 minutes for anchovy paste before finding it with the butter. WHAT THE CRAP
Grank
I have spent more time wandering and looking in the "logical places" only to learn what I am looking for is being kept somewhere that makes no sense...
StubbornMule
Not a bad habit. Vocabulary is useful.
Kevin Conner
That's what you get for going to the store to buy Velveeta.
Jarett
You can go O(n) if you ask the staff for every single item on your list. They'll probably hate you, though.
Alex Brault
Or you could buy online and have it delivered.
Phil
The worst part about this is that supermarket layout is **deliberately** inefficient in order to encourage people to buy more stuff that they happen upon while looking for the stuff they need. This kind of anti-feature just drives a perfectionist programmer like me nuts...
Timwi
+209  A: 

Every User Interface, digital or otherwise infuriates me when it does something that makes it needlessly difficult for the user. Like hitting "Cancel" to run my debit card as a "credit" card. WTF?

Bob King
Sadly, I believe copyright and patent law is partly to blame in forcing companies to make simple and easy interfaces "different enough"
Causas
I agree - I've just read Alan Cooper's "Inmates are running the asylum" and am now onto "The Design of Everyday things". I am finding I'm increasingly frustrated by "stupid" things in everyday life.
Stuart Helwig
In my second year of varsity, we did a short course on human-computer interaction. For our first assignment, we needed to find examples of non-usable interfaces on everyday things. It ended up being a VERY thick assignment... Ever since I just can't look past these things anymore.
Jacob
OMG This one bugs me soooooo much. I'm exactly the same. I'm ALWAYS evaluating the UI friction of anything I interact with.
theo
cough government cough
Dustin Getz
I figured it out once that asking Checking vs savings, for people with only one account, costs wallmart about 1.2 mill in lost wages a year. (based on 10 percent of debit users having one account)
baash05
Until you realize it wasn't the developer who made it this way but the business requirement because debit is cheaper for them and want you to NOT be able to choose it.
duckworth
Actually, I figured that it was because it is cheaper for companies to withdraw money from a debit account then to pay the credit card processing fee.
Sara Chipps
@Sara: you are right on the money. A debit transaction costs only an average of .26, where as a credit transaction is a percentage and of course is linear with respect to transaction total. All new, good payment software has least cost routing where it "suggests"/urges the customer down a path.
Bill
I concede the point that it was made difficult for business reasons. But the original designers could have made it difficult in a less obtuse way. Like asking "are you really sure?" three times or something.
Bob King
Even among programmers I'm pretty hardcore about this one. I've had coworkers ask me why bad UIs (software and real world) annoy me so much, my stock answer is "I'm an anal-retentive bastard."
Bryan Anderson
I'm allergic to bad user interfaces. One of the side-effects of specializing in user interface design, I suppose. :(
Esko Luontola
@Dustin Trying to get you to use a debit first and making credit less fun is the stores doing. It is cheaper for them if you use the debit feature because you the one that ends up paying the the service fee. If you go credit the fee is still paid but by the store.
Copas
'cancel' to select a credit card is probably the UI because of bad software reuse. There is a 'yes/no' widget and an 'ok/cancel' widget, and the developer was only allowed to use an existing widget. The more infuriating situation is when a yes/no question is asked and an 'ok/cancel' response is requested.
William Pursell
"Do you want to cancel this operation?" OK/Cancel
Daniel Earwicker
My microwave oven ignores the Clear button if the door's open... wtf?
Craig Young
This weeks favourite for me: *"[... big block of small font text ...] Click ignore to continue"* `[Continue]` `[Ignore]`
Georg Fritzsche
This reminds me of a story where someone tried to get some cash from their card at an ATM, went through all the steps: PIN, select amount, select if they want a receipt, etc., only to be told after all that that the PIN entered (first step) was wrong. X(
Andrei Fierbinteanu
+10  A: 

I look for logic in everything I do - consequently, I am largely devoid of religion (although since I consider logic to be the basis of reality, I could consider logic itself to be a 'higher power' I suppose).

Erik Forbes
+1 for two reasons. First, the obvious, you're dead right. Second, you put the period on the outside of the parentheses, as the period is not part of the literal meaning of the parenthized string.
tsilb
+1  A: 

This isn't very related to programming per se... but when I was in final year in varsity, all those assignments really got to me. In exams I found myself trying to tap CTRL-Z whenever I'd make a mistake.

anbanm
-1 not really related to topic
Martin
+1 as close as many other answers!
Jeff
+1  A: 

I agree with Glomek. I tend to be precise in what I say and also expect others to be. I too often hear what people say and not what they mean. Well most times I know what they mean I just ignore it...

Also I started hating quick dirty fixes of problems. If I want to solve a problem I schedule it to find a time and then totally commit to it and do it right. In real life that means that I either clean the whole room rather than just cleaning up one corner. My girlfriend doesn't like that.

BTW: It's a real relief to read that other programmers also expierenced this. I immediately forwarded this post to my girlfriend.

Tobias
I find that home renovation is a problem. My wife would rather 'MacGyver' something than take the time to do it right. Consequently I'm forever walking around behind her fixing things she's hacked together, like hanging curtain rails or hanging pictures on garbage ties!!
BenAlabaster
Believe it or not, sometimes I dont take time to think about properly naming tables, columns, variables, functions which could lead to propagated obfuscation!
Frank Computer
+29  A: 

Mostlyharmless posted this one as a comment to another answer. I can perfectly relate and I am laughing my ass of right now.

That happens with me and mom when i visit home. "Do you want anything to eat?"... "No."... "Want some cookies?" ... "Arent cookies a subset of food? Stop asking the same questions, you'll get the same answer." "GET OUT OF MY HOME!" "fine, fix the PC yourself next time". Mostlyharmless

Jacob T. Nielsen
+80  A: 

Along the lines of precise speaking, I find that I refuse to deal with ambiguous questions/statements until they are resolved. Even if I have a pretty good idea what they want, if they phrased it wrong I can't answer because then I'd have to guess and programmers shouldn't ever have to guess.

But repeating "What do you mean" when someone thinks they phrased something perfectly well just pisses everyone off.

Also--cookbooks. I can't go near a kitchen!

First you combine a pinch of this in a rolling motion with a scoop of that.

DEFINE YOUR GODDAMN TERMS

Bill K
Yeah, we should talk."Right-click, and...". I still say that, even though I know most end users don't know what the heck I'm talking about.
Michael Petrotta
The best is when they have an ingredient in the list and then never mention what the hell to do with it.
Kevin
If it's any consolation, I've found the oven to be by and large more forgiving than a compiler. Cook for 30 minutes or 31, you're still fine. Of course, it does have a far more destructive failure mode.
Atiaxi
The worst is when cookbooks make a big complicated parallel part seem like a single simple step, e.g. bread and fry cored, peeled, blackened peppers... wtf? that's like an hour of work roasting and peeling those peppers!
Jared Updike
I have the same problem with cookbooks.
fluffels
Actually, not. I early made the connection that cooking = programming in the "groceries" language. e.g. the exact amount of a "pinch" is an implementation detail not mentioned in the spec.
peterchen
The only cooking show I can watch is 'Good Eats' with Alton Brown (on the food network). Alton thinks like an Engineer.
Dan Esparza
Cooking and baking are to programming as recipes are to specifications. So of course recipes are vague! ;-)
Steve S
Cooking is non-deterministic. I rarely use recipes, so whenever a non-cook asks me how to make something, I have to make it and actually measure how much of each ingredient I'm using.
Don Werve
Funny, I always regarded "pinch" as simply being an alias for 1/8 tsp.
nsayer
Nice assumption. Guess I missed that #define
Bill K
Yes, recipes are definitely meant for "cooking": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Oz87LxvKV0
Douglas Tosi
A pinch is the amount you can pick up between your thumb, and your index and middle fingers. A large pinch (or a good pinch) is the same, except you add your ring finger. True story!
Kaz Dragon
I have the same problem with recipes. One time I was making a martini and I needed to add a "splash" of cranberry juice. I think I added a lot more than needed.
Dennis
@Kaz with such small quantities, you could get like 5x more or less depending on how big your fingers are and how you pinch. If you can quarter or double a component without affecting anything, why even add it?
Bill K
Awesome answer! This really made me laugh and it is so true!
DoctaJonez
i do that all the time...asking people to explain what exactly they mean it helps to give correct answers at the cost of annoying them a little... In my experience most non-programmers talk a lot of ambiguous things ... is that what they call small-talk..
Hardy
Ready-meals often have instructions such as “Cook for *x* minutes. Check product is piping hot before serving.” What do I do if it is *not* piping hot after *x* minutes?
Timwi
A: 

Ending sentences with ";"s

Dre
A: 

My comp sci frd and I started to talk geekly

When we are hungry we say "my buffer is underflow" When we get sick and throw up we say "my buffer overflowed"

Alvin
+50  A: 

One thing I've noticed lately is that many engineers in different fields (EE, ME) don't try to simplify and automate things as much as software people do. I'm not sure why that is, or even if it's true in general. After all, the sample size I'm basing this on isn't very big (a couple dozen engineers I've worked with).

It may be cliche, but it seems that people who get good at writing software are motivated by laziness. If everyone was as constructively lazy as a good programmer is, the whole world would be more efficient.

KeyserSoze
I do agree with the general idea, however laziness is a relative term. There were times when I could just do things by hand in an hour, so I just made a program that would do that, the program's version 2.1 coming out about 4 hours later.
ΤΖΩΤΖΙΟΥ
Laziness is the first great virtue of a programmer, yes, closely followed by impatience and hubris. (Google "larry wall laziness impatience and hubris" if this doesn't seem right to you.)
Dave Sherohman
Heh, it infuriates my wife that every drive to work is a race... I'm sure the way I drive derives from the simplification and optimization drive that programmers have.
Rich
My car performs best if it is running between 2500 RPM -> 3500 RPM. That means the lowest speed at which it will be running at some sane mileage is 55 Mph. Cops hate me. Anything slower and my car does not like me, it uses the same amount of gas with no real return.
X-Istence
I'm currently working for an engineering company building an automated optimization process for a class of devices. What they think is cutting edge, I think is a few lines each in MATLAB and Python. At least they realize they can get a return on their investment in the long run.
"A good programmer is a lazy programmer. Not necessarily the other way around though!"
peSHIr
I'm an EE, and we don't automate everything because there needs to be a degree of "expert input" into a lot of the stuff I do. I don't want to just blindly run scripts, I want to run a small script, look at the output, run another, look at new output, etc.
temp2290
I'm actually in the automation industry and do both "engineering" and "programming". The engineering work has a different audience: electricians, millwrights, pipe fitters, maintenance people, etc. The programming work is generally read by other programmers. Therefore I can afford to follow more complex patterns in the programming world than I can in the engineering world, unless I like getting 2 am phone calls from shop floor asking WTF I was thinking when I wrote something.
Scott Whitlock
AMEN. When I code, I abstract EVERYTHING so I can reuse later if necessary.
jdc0589
+513  A: 

Q; Do you want tea OR coffee?
A: Yes

edit: now I have to confess I just found a bug in our app where I was trying to set a bunch of option flags by ANDing them together ;-(

Martin Beckett
unless you want neither coffee nor tea
Shawn Simon
I guess they should ask "Do you want tea XOR coffee?", which should lead to the proper qualifying if :P
Jon Limjap
Actually, you would need to split up the question into two questions, there is no way of telling from a 'tea XOR coffee' which is wanted. It would be, 'Do you want tea?', 'x', 'if you don't want tea, do you want coffee?', 'y'
PintSizedCat
want(tea) > want(coffee)
Joe Philllips
What would you like to drink?
Dave L.
In Python, Common Lisp and (I think) Perl and shell scripting, boolean short-circuiting is taken to a new level: in the case of an *or* operator, the first operand is returned if it evaluates to true; otherwise the second operand is returned. 0, the empty list, etc. evaluate to false.
Of course this means you're making an incorrect assumption. You've decided the return value is a boolean when in fact it's an enum. The waitress believed she was selecting the correct overload by providing the enum values as an argument.
Steve Hiner
Javascript will give you Tea if it's available, otherwise Coffee
Imran
I HATE when people do that. It's not funny.
Michael Haren
Logic deals in statements. ("You want tea OR coffee." is True) Do you want tea or coffee? is a question and the same rules do not apply.
lillq
@Jon Limjap: You could still answer XOR with 'Yes' so long as you want one of them but not the other. You should ask - "We have tea and coffee, which can I get for you?". Of course, if your wife also deals in the same logic, she may just bring you the tea or coffee instead of making you a cup...
BenAlabaster
I don't think this is a good one. I think it should be: do you want tea OR do you want coffee, the way you explained it
Joe Philllips
It's a JOKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Martin Beckett
No no nooo... Use the ternary operator : Yes means tea (the first value provided)
Andrei Rinea
@mgb Do you really think so? Wow I would have never have guessed.
Tim Matthews
Saying 'yes' should give you both. :). "Sour cream or chilli sauce" is always answered 'yes'.
Kent Fredric
A nice inclusive OR haha
jasonco
I always answer "Yes" after the thing I want is mentioned...
tstenner
@tstenner - at some point after it was mentioned or right after it was mentioned therefore cutting the person off from finishing their sentence?
BenAlabaster
My mom hates this.
Muxecoid
See!? This is why you shouldn't let programmers design user interfaces! :)
Spoike
@balabaster, if your wife brings you a packet of tea or a couple scoops of coffee, i'd argue that her defaults aren't set to something practical.
Ape-inago
i tried to teach people to differentiate between "oder" and "gsoder" in german being the equivalent to OR and XOR but they just never got it... anyway a big upvote...
raoulsson
Q: To be OR not to be?A: Sure.
Carmine Paolino
Well, people *could* use “ewok”: http://coders.meta.net.nz/weblog/2006/10/30/or-considered-harmful/
Joey
You should answer `true`. Then when they say "so you want Tea and Coffee?" you answer `false`. Then they spit in your water.
dotjoe
+39  A: 

I spend too much time thinking instead of reacting and my improv performances suffer as a result.

benzado
Yeah, except that my ability to react to most things is slower. As a plus, It's pretty hard to startle me. :)
Cristián Romo
My memory was actually improved by programming. Probably because I had to memorize all these function definitions, and my IDE isn't too great...
Wallacoloo
+314  A: 

I really need control+Z in real world.

penyaskito
Are you speaking Windows (undo) or unix (suspend process)? Either would be quite useful, though.
Dave Sherohman
It's worse: does he speak Windows (undo), *nix (suspend process), or DOS (end of file)?
ΤΖΩΤΖΙΟΥ
I've often wanted to Control+Z what I just said to my wife after I see the reaction it invoked. Sadly, I just end up storing the lesson for a short-term, which is garbage collected pretty quickly.
Kon
There's an insurance company campaign going around at the moment (in Sydney) saying it gives you the option to un-do any mistakes :p
Dean
This is something I can relate to. I.e. after I've been drawing or painting digitally in photoshop or painter extensively. When I return to my oh-so-analogue sketchbook I always notice that after a mistake I instinctively try to cling for the Ctrl+Z. The real world lacks undo!
Spoike
ctrl+d is the Unix form of DOS's ctrl+z
Brad Gilbert
fallen888 - fantastic quote :)
sonstabo
or [ C-_ ] in emacs.
Ape-inago
That or a save state momento.
Anzurio
F5(Save Game) and F6(Load Game) would be enough.
Kirill V. Lyadvinsky
One time I actually noticed myself mimicking the keystroke on the desk when I was writing something by hand...
Cogwheel - Matthew Orlando
You mean ⌘-Z (Mac).
Mk12
@AZ:You must be talking about Memento pattern...
drozzy
+225  A: 

I find it very annoying when you ask a question that should be answerable but get no answer, especially when it relates to time.

ME: So how long do you think it will take to fill this prescription?
THEM: I really can't say.
ME: Can you give me a rough ballpark?
THEM: No, there are a lot of customers ahead of you.
ME: Will it be filled by the end of the week?
THEM: Oh yeah, it will be filled by then.
ME: Will it be filled by tomorrow?
THEM: Oh yeah, it will be ready within a couple hours.
ME: Thanks.

Why they can never tell me that to begin with I will never know.

My wife used to get irritated with me and said I was interrogating people until it affected her one night. We were at the hospital at 1:00 am because my mother-in-law had fallen and hurt her hip. The nurse came in to take her for X-rays, and my wife and I were wondering if we should just go home because it looked like it was going to be an all night ordeal.

ME: How long will the X-rays take?
HER: I don't know, it just depends on how many people are ahead of her in X-ray.
ME: No idea?
HER: No.
ME: OK, we'll wait here.
HER: You might want to get a drink or snack because it will probably take at least a couple of hours.

Uh, ok, why couldn't you just say that to begin with?

Joe Rattz
I too hate it when people can't give me actual number estimates. I also hate it when people can't give me concrete examples.
Simucal
You're a programmer and you believe "It will be done by the end of the week" when you hear it??
finnw
It is amazing how you can work people around to giving some kind of estimate. Fun too.
StubbornMule
I was doing a yard sale. Didn't have time to go through and label everthing, so I just put up a sign that said "pay what you want". I had several conversations that went like this:Customer:"How much for X?"Me: "You tell me."C: "Um, I don't know."M: sigh "Ok, 5 bucks."C: "That's too much."
Kevin
@finnw :), sure it will take a day or two...
kenny
@finnw - As long as it isn't sofware or construction!
Joe Rattz
As a programmer who hates estimating, it doesn't surprise me that others don't want to be pinned down to estimates. Still...
Kyralessa
...that prescription thing annoys me too. "When do you want to pick it up?" Uh...when it's ready. But apparently when it's ready depends on when I want to pick it up. "OK, I'll pick it up in five seconds." Sheesh.
Kyralessa
I'm going to experience this first hand today at the emergency room :("how long will i have to wait""oh, you know.. it varies, sometimes we have lots of people come in, I really can't say..."Ugh. Just give me a ballpark, bastard nurse. :P
Ace
dude you're miserable :P when they tell you "I don't know", it probably means "I know you want it done now but it will take longer than you want .. like several hours"
hasen j
At least they didn't tell you 6–8 weeks.
derobert
Instead ask what is the (shortest,longest) period of time do you expect it to take.
Brad Gilbert
IMHO people say they don't know because if it takes longer than they said it would take people will jump on their ass like butter on bread.
Kyle B.
I was about to board a 3-hs delayed plane, my plan was to go to the toilet on it, so I was holding myself very bad. I went to ask how long it was going to take expecting to hear anything bigger than 5 minutes. I've never managed to get any estimate out of the guy. It took some more hours.
J. Pablo Fernández
And that, Kyle B, proves they're not programmers, because they haven't learned to double the initial estimate.
Kyralessa
Hahaha, this is *so* true... although, I have to say, I have been guilty of this too. When will it be done? When I get to it? When will that be? Depends what comes up that's more interesting than that before I get to it...
BenAlabaster
My girlfriend does the exact same thing. "How long will it take you to get ready?". "I dunno I still have to do my hair". "Well how long will that take?". "It depends if I just put it up or do it nice". "Will it take more than an hour?"...."No."
tj111
So, about how many story points for those x-rays?
ojrac
I think the reason is because they don't want to be held accountable for giving you an exact number and not having the thing done when you come back. But they're willing to tell you that it will take "at least" a certain amount
Kevin Laity
At pharmacies, for example, the wait time depends on if you're waiting in the store or not. If you're waiting, you go into the fastest queue. If you're not waiting, which accounts for a good portion of customers, you go into a slower line depending on when you expect you'll be back. So if you say "5 seconds", well, it might still be 30 mins, but it will be as fast as possible.
Mr. Shiny and New
This is 100% me also and made me laugh out loud for a while. Thanks
Copas
I do this EXACT same thing! Its maddening when people cant give you a ballpark. They always end up getting upset with you because they think you want an exact time.
Allen
See my answer for why we programmers talk like this. :-)
T.E.D.
You call yourselves programmers ? (kidding)Those are NOT estimates but upper bounds, they all can be right ! If it's a microsecond, a week is an accurate upper bound ; a good estimate it is not.You can refine an upper bound, not an estimate (and you'd need an error margin, which can definitively make you look weird)
makapuf
The best response to a refusal for a ballpark is to ask, "Weeks, days, hours..?" people often think you're asking for a number when you'll be happy with a unit.
Allen Pike
Yeah this just happened to me .. I was at a new burger joint and asked how big the burgers were before I ordered one. The woman would not tell me anything.. I am like are they children size, whopper size? "I really can't say" she says.
John Isaacks
@John Issacks: About 25 years ago I was at a Dairy Queen and wanted to buy a drink. The cashier asked me if I wanted to buy a drink and I said I did, but that she wouldn't sell me the size I wanted because I didn't know the code word. She said there was no code word. I insisted that there was. She again insisted there wasn't. There were three sizes. I said I wanted the large. So she reaches for the middle sized cup and I said, "That's not the size I want. I want that one" and I pointed to the largest cup.
Joe Rattz
@John Issacks (cont): She said, "Oh, that's not large, that's super thirst quencher". I said "See, I told you I didn't know the code word."I am sure she didn't call it super thirst quencher, but they had some name for it other than "large".
Joe Rattz
@joe hahahahaha
John Isaacks
+13  A: 

I answer either or questions with "yes".

MikeJ
You obviously haven't tried out Python, CL, Perl and shell scripting: their short-circuiting rules for boolean operations are quite different and a lot more convenient.
I have but with Or it's not much of a short circuit.if (T or x) => T - second operator doesnt matter hereif (F or T) => Tyou only get a (slighly) short circuit on the first operand if its value is true. in the case of or when the first op is false you still have to evalate the second op.
MikeJ
as a follow up, most languages go by the short circuit boolean rules - many compiler allow it but only by switch and I dont know many developers that would use it becuase the short circuit convention is so prevelant and trick up most devs.
MikeJ
ternary operator?
Andrei Rinea
+8  A: 

"""I had a big let down when I first realized the term "Google Earth" didn't mean what I first thought it meant"""

-Comment by Bill the Lizard on one of the answers

hayalci
A: 

When ever i make a mistake in anything in real life, the first thing that goes through my mind is ctrl-z!!!

Gary Willoughby
+8  A: 

I forget to clean up after myself ever since I started using Garbage Collectors :)

A: 

CTRL + ALT + DEL (OR REBOOT) does NOT fix things! in real life

anjanb
+14  A: 

I think spending most of my waking hours sitting on my ass in front of a computer is a bad habit. I'm surprised there's not moss growing on my north side.

Robert Rossney
I've solved that problem a long time ago! At work, I face north and at home, I face south. This way, there's no moss on any of my sides.
Except that moss would require that you sit OUTside.
somacore
you can still be a fit and active IT nerd. ive known programmers who were into football. i myself train martial arts 3 times a week, go to the gym, cycle, hike, etc. its not impossible. just means you cant play an MMO like WoW :)
louism
@somacore: Depends how bad damp is in his house/work.
graham.reeds
+3  A: 

I lose my keys/sunglasses whatever...I want Google to find them for me!

Stuart Helwig
+3  A: 

I watch Alton Brown's "Good Eats" cooking show on the Food Network and he refers to the food ingredients as the "software" and the knives, peelers, pots, pans, and other kitchen implements as the "hardware." Being a programmer, I appreciate his terminology, but I have also started to apply the terms to other activities where "software" and "hardware" can be separated like that.

I also tend to use more computing terms in day to day conversation, like downloading stuff from the car, or taking a "data dump." America needs to be "rebooted." Sometimes I ponder if I am in the matrix or not, and I really enjoy caffinated drinks, at almost any time of the day.

Bratch
+224  A: 

Knuth would kill me, but I try to optimize every single path that I take, from college to home or just to the bathroom. I also tend to try to optimize the flow of people serving things in restaurants. But that's just sad.

Edu Felipe
you mean, you tackle the Traveling Salesman problem in your free time?
Jimmy
When I drive anywhere, I maintain an ETA in my head, and update it frequently. Anyone else? Anyone?
Michael Petrotta
I am the exact same way. I think about known paths from point A to point B and then estimate how long each path will take given current conditions (traffic, weather, time of day, etc) and try to optimize my decision based on the fastest route.
Tom
Without A* my walks and bike rides would be nothing.
Chris Charabaruk
It's ok as long as it's not premature optimization... i.e. optimizing paths that you don't end up traversing.
MrDatabase
During my first weeks of this term at my university, I got very upset that i wasn't certain of the optimal route to each lecture!
Ben Page
@Michael: I picked up that habit while walking to classes in college, and never really got rid of it.
sep332
@Michael: you bet!
e.James
lol ;D really funny
luiscarlosch
MIT (I think) once built a new set of classroom buildings but waited until the students had made paths through the grass to know where to put the sidewalks. Brilliant!
LaJmOn
I'm a compulsive optimiser too - of everything. Shortest path, least time, greatest paralleism, removing repetition - you name it. I am not sure it makes for a happy life - but when lots needs done fast I can get it done.
kpollock
Damn, I do that too, and I just realized it!
niXar
@LaJmOn: SUNY at Fredonia campus, I. M. Pei was the architect. It may have also been at MIT.
Joel
@LaJmOn: WMU does similar. Every other year, they put down sidewalk where the grass has died from students walking. As a side effect, there are tons of pathways that crisscross each other in seemingly random fashon as new buildings emerge and older ones vanish.
nilamo
DisgruntledGoat
Also, if I, say, want to go downstairs to make a cup of tea, I think for about a minute beforehand if there is anything else I want/need to accomplish en route, for example, taking various crockery with me, or grabbing the cordless phone on the way back up, even if it's going to be hours before I want to use it. I'm just lazy, to be honest.
DisgruntledGoat
I take two different paths to/from work due to the configuration of the transit system. It's all one big graph problem in my head and I optimized the shit out of it.
James Jones
there's an xkcd comic about this... if i weren't so lazy i'd look it up
Jason
@LaJmOn: really? that is absolutely awesome! I'm no programmer (mechanical engineer) but I've always wondered why some idiot architect or whoever put sidewalks and paths where they did at my university. The biggest problem they have here is people walking across the quad...now they have a big giant 'X' of dead grass crossing through the quad...it can be seen from space with Google earth!
Faken
I do this when I'm driving... try and keep with the flow, try to use my brakes as little as possible... have to keep the speed up... probably crash soon.. big wheels, grippy tires, and lowered suspension helps though.
hamstar
You must play RTS games like Starcraft. The pathfinding is ridiculously bad. Obviously the siege tanks are going to kill the 200 zerglings if they rush in one at a time!
tsilb
@LaJmOn That's been done other places too. For example: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_of_Toledo#Centennial_Mall
Matt Blaine
A: 

Thinking that concepts and techniques you learn in the software industry can be applied to Real Life.

They cannot.

Paul Beckingham
+57  A: 

It's not exactly programming, but what the hell...

I wish life had a Quicksave button. I would push it everytime my wife starts a conversation; who knows when she will get offended by something I said unwittingly?

schonarth
Yes, Save and Restore would often come in handy, like in those old Sierra games.
Jonik
i wish someday it could be possible :)
Sujoy
No point. I've been married for nearly 20 years now, and have had time to fully explore the conversational tree for this game. When she wants to get mad at you, there is no "right" choice.
T.E.D.
Actually, there is. Just agree with everything, especially with insults. Nearly everyone will run out of steam quickly.
Kuroki Kaze
@Kuroki, then she tends to get angry because you're condescending to her.... It actually becomes a form of Kobayashi Maru (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kobayashi_Maru)
AviD
I'd prefer a good revision control system. Just branch off into a new conversation!
pklall
To follow up on @T.E.D. comment: this game is rigged...
John Leidegren
Reminds me of non deterministic programming paradigm, or for optimization, quantum computing.
Razor Storm
+7  A: 

While on vacation a couple years ago, I was standing atop one cliff, looking at the opposite cliff in a scene which was a bit beyond what my brain is used to accepting as "real" and I immediately thought "Wow... Impressive special effects."

Dave Sherohman
I totally had that happen when I go camping or skiing. I forget what the real world looks like.
jtyost2
last saturday, looking at a lake, I was thinking about the waves and how the lake surface at a specific moment could be stored as a 2D matrix of values... I was amazed at the infinite-like complexity of the whole scene :)
Dragoljub
@Dragoljub I do that all the time! I love looking at water and thinking about algorithms used to represent it in 3D scenes.
Jake Petroules
A: 

Seems like subtle things have seeped into my daily life over the years. Gradually started staying up later working on things. Overly literal in how I understand real life scenarios. Biggest thing of all is ending sentences with ';' or '?>' (I've come to loath PHP now) ;)

Josh Sandlin
+3  A: 

I frequently wish I had direct SQL access to databases for where items should be located. Mostly to see if they even (1) ever carried the item in the first place and (2) if they have any now.

Books-A-Million. WalMart or Target is another one. Are the coolers in the camping sections or on top of the drinks this time of year? (Camping during winter, near drunks during summer -- usually). I just need a sql prompt... I can figure the rest out. Or hell, any access to custom search queries. I can type faster than all those CSR's... :P

Nazadus
that's why I used to love going to Dymocks - they used to have terminals available for customer use to run searches. Nowadays the assistants shoo me away...
Jeffrey Kemp
+8  A: 

If I'm going to the race and you ask me, "Aren't you going to the race?", I'll say, "no" because "You are not going to the race." is a false statement. If I'm not going, I'll say "yes" because the statement would then be true. Some find that irritating, but I can't help it. That's what you get for saying, "Are not you going to the race?".

However, to allow me to answer the question properly without confusing people, I'll do "No, I'm going." and "That's correct." repspectively. This seems to be less irritating to people.

I also avoid asking questions with negatives in them so I don't get improper answers that might confuse me.

I never had this problem before programming. I guess all those bools and conditionals just got to me.

I guess technically, it's a good habit, but in reality, since not enough think that way, it becomes a problem.

I also have a shorter attention span now.

Shadow2531
I know! "Incorrect" negativity stuff like that has always bothered me.
Mk12
+37  A: 

The last time I was standing in line at the airport to check my bags, I surveyed the situation.

I'm in a long line.

There are a limited number of ticket counters.

There are a handful of airport employees at the front of the line directing passengers to available ticket counters.

Then it hits me. I'm in a packet-switched queue.

moffdub
I hate going to the store when it's busy and not having the check-out lines packet switched! I have to try and predict which line will go quickest!
Rob K
@Rob K : Me too!!! WTF.. a single queue and a switcher is all I ask them. BUt nooooo... plus there must always be some shithead that cuts in front..
Andrei Rinea
Fry's Electronics does the single queue thing. Maybe since it's by geeks,f or geeks.
Jared Updike
+5  A: 

When my salary is expressed as $xK, I expect a multiple of 1024. I am usually disappointed.

Mike Thompson
u make me laugh !
Preets
Do you work for a hard drive manufacturer? :p
JeeBee
Kibibit vs Kilobit. most confusing.
Ape-inago
@JeeBee: Clearly not. They measure in Imperial so there are more Gigs in a gig.
tsilb
A: 

I get tremendously excited about new technologies when it is obvious that they will be shoddily put together because that means there will be more opportunities to hack them back into working order.

As a corollary, I take things apart that I have no reason to believe I will be able to put back together often with the thought in the back of my mind that I can roll back to the last working version.

bouvard
+26  A: 

I have those little fold out paper hangers attached to the sides of my monitor ... to hold database diagrams or specs or whatever ...

When I get into "the zone" I often try to mouse onto the paper and get frustrated when the pointer stops at the edge of the screen.

SKapsal
I have done that multiple times!
StubbornMule
I've attempted to answer my phone with my mouse.
Michael Petrotta
Ah, the "zone"! Why does nobody talk about this?
postfuturist
I've been playing an FPS and when someone entered the room I turned my character to face them. :(
David
+13  A: 

I'm getting good at vi, but...

  • j and k don't scroll in word or notepad or visual studio or dreamweaver ...
  • escape takes you out of insert mode in vi, but takes what you just typed out of an excel cell.
SKapsal
The word ":w" keeps appearing when i'm helping out one of my colleges.
Bob Fanger
Surely vi isn't so archaic that it doesn't support arrow keys at all?
DisgruntledGoat
+8  A: 

Back in high school, instead of doing "mind map" notes for lectures like we were told to do, I always did nested list elements, alternating the bullet style at each indent level.

Crap, I just referred to writing bullet points as "list elements". There you go.

nickf
I hated mind maps. The forced it on me, and I just flat refused to do them.
Ape-inago
+1  A: 

I do not socialise too much, Even if I have to say Hi to my roommate I do it on Orkut. Talking to Computer for me is just as normal as talking to some friend, the only difference it stays there to listen me and friends walk away

+10  A: 

I think Midnight Code Warrior syndrome qualifies, sometimes accidentally staying up until 4AM. ;-)

Gordon Bell
I learned to code in my teens, so I would often be programming late at night after school, dinner, homework, TV. To this day it means that my most efficient hours are 10pm - 4am. Of course I sleep through them these days for work, who gets me in my least efficient hours.
JeeBee
"Accidentally" staying up till 4am? Ymean, you accidentally fall asleep early, in the midst of the best piece of code you've written in a long time...? ;) If you cant manage to stay awake till you're done - sometimes a good shot of whiskey helps wonders :DD
AviD
I've honestly had my morning alarm go off, only to realize I never got off the computer the night before. Man, am I gonna be tired around lunchtime.
tsilb
+205  A: 

Believing that being right is enough.

Believing that people will listen to reason.

(And all the more amusing ones that everyone else has posted!)

Rich
too geeky if you ask me :P
Ronny
Too true. Try combining that with a philosophy course.
fluffels
nice one, I believe this one applies to all programmers / power computer users.
Lawand
Programmers are not always immune to the 'being right is not enough' problem, though. I *hate* it when a coder wants to do X, even though Y has been shown as better, because X is 'their way'.
Don Werve
+1 for (wrongly) believing that people will listen to reason...
jackocnr
+51  A: 

I see patterns.

Theine
I even see patterns in the answers to this question, I fear...
peSHIr
I even even see patterns in the answers to this question, I fear.. in the answers to this question, I fear...
Ant
That's not really specific to programming though.
Mk12
They're everywhere! They don't even know they're repeating!
tsilb
I see dead patterns...
Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
+1  A: 

Nomad Dervish's answer reminded me — I used to be a level designer, and on more than one occasion I looked at a beautiful sunset and thought that it was a really good skybox.

On another occasion I chose my route across a courtyard to optimize my r_speeds.

I spend too much time on the computer :)

Rich
+322  A: 

It's really hard to stay healthy when you sit and stare at a screen for 10 hours per day.

If you're not careful, programming can help you learn a sedentary lifestyle.

keparo
Are there any other kinds of life? While reading this thread, I've realized that I have the most sedentary, boring, psychotic life around here. That's it for me! As of tonight, I'm going to change some things and I'll start by NOT sitting in front of the computer while I'm at home.Good bye!
No, Tom! Wait! Don't leave!
ΤΖΩΤΖΙΟΥ
Actually,I'm back and I did change a few things.I walk to work instead of driving now,this means at least one hour of walking every day.At home,instead of sitting in front of the computer eating something microwaved,I started cooking.After a week,I found it difficult to go back to the old lifestyle!
Tom
He'll be back. *pats computer* They always come back.
Rorschach
Actually it really helps to consider your body as an hardware system. Things then start to get interesting :) Get a bestselling book on body building and start hitting gym 2-3 days a week! Simple as that IMHO.
utku_karatas
It also helps to think of your body as an overweight human body.
keparo
keparo: That's how eating disorders originate.
EnderMB
shut up keparo. LOL
Click Upvote
Actually my eyes hurt sometimes but they hurt more if i am not in the computer... depressing! haha
jasonco
I've managed to get a sore neck and back from using computers, and sore legs and arms from practicing parkour. The negative sides of both doing nothing and doing too much simultaneously!
Esko Luontola
I *need* 10 hours of sitting around to recover from the DOMS I get from going to the gym.
James Jones
@Rorschach: lol. it's my away message now
Carmine Paolino
I realized exactly that after my first summer as an intern, which was the motivation I needed to get my butt back in shape.
wsanville
I'm pretty sure everyone I work with bikes to work, and we're just a bunch of programmers..
Brendan Long
+4  A: 

I tend to forget that to non-programmers numbers are numbers. The concept of short and long integers for example, is completely alien to them.

Ian Devlin
as alien as it is to say, Python programmers? :)
Jimmy
Like he said, non-programmers ... ;)
Eclipse
+120  A: 

I find that if I'm writing a letter (yeah, I know it supposed to be email (or texting)) to someone I tend to nest brackets when I am making side points.

My wife thinks I'm crazy when she sees that. So do the recipients of those letters. But its a habit.

Simon Knights
I do that too! I've confused more than one examiner with that ;)
Yuvi
OMG I do that too. I find that if I use [ ( ) ] it helps normal people understand.
Booji Boy
schema code would be really funny if could just switch type of brackets each nesting.
levhita
(Would the alternative be (like this)?
Oddmund
@OddmundL no, physically indenting text on the page.
sep332
I do that all the time. When I notice more than 3 levels, I usually remove the first level and reword it as its own sentence.
Osama ALASSIRY
Wow, writing like that (that isn't an example [especially on programming sites {including StackOverflow}]) means (except on Tuesdays) it's time for a serious rewrite (or less lisp [or perl] [can ruby do that?]).
derobert
haaaaaaaaa I totally do this.
Sara Chipps
lol, very funny (i use to do this also (no matter a lot of people don't understand) )
Jhonny D. Cano -Leftware-
Used to, now I use footnotes that so the first nested bracket is free.
Benjamin Confino
I often catch myself about to do this. But i recognise it as a programmer thing and re-word so i only need one level of brackets. Unless I am taling to another programmer.
pipTheGeek
I do it too. Strange habit.
Holli
I find that I always have at least one such side-note that I need to add per sentence.
Schmuli
I have a tendency to do this too, but I've learned to recognize this a writing smell and refactor my sentence.
Geerad
I do this too...
Dan
I do the same thing.And I do refractor after a certain point.Oh, and it's very annoying when someone writes a statement with imporperly nested '('')'.I do allow emocons though, and this one puzzles me :: (something :) ).
CodeJoust
@CodeJoust "emocons" :P perhaps I should read up on grammar rules (Though probably not, since so many of them make no sense), but I've only seen (parenthesis) used normally, and [brackets] used when adding something into a quote to make it grammatically correct. (I've never seen anything like your examples [something like this {with different kinds of punctuation that actually all mean the same thing}])
Wallacoloo
I never noticed what you did there until I thought about what you said! :O
codebliss
I always do this >_> but i nest square brackets sort of like array indexing.
ItzWarty
(This (not-problem-with us))(missing english-language nested-constructs)(all (hail lispglish))
brice
+90  A: 

I forget how to make small talk :(.

RodgerB
EricSchaefer
ut can you code in smalltalk?
Omar Kooheji
@EricSchaefer: I wish I could upvote comments
Peter Coulton
Upvoting for the comment.
Michael Myers
Upvote the comment as well, hahaha
Jj
great comment! xD
Andrea Ambu
good comment :)
Dan
I wish I hadn't run out of votes.
Mk12
That's so true, I tend to get more essential and literal everyday. Like I almost got hit by a car on the way home, then when I get there, someone asks me: "How was your day?" and I just answer "Good.". Well nobody asked me if I almost got hit by a car!
Felipe Fiali
+1  A: 

I'd say excessive pedantry (which is an asset in programming) is a bad habit in many real life situations.

Also thinking in terms of templates makes our mind less flexible. Almost every time when I'm looking for something in a paper-printed book, I'm catching myself wanting to press that "/" :-)

Anonymous
+8  A: 

I'm not sure whether it's a bad habit, but I think I do have a propensity to try and optimise too much / think things through logically (given that the world is not a logical place)...

For example, when my wife and I go to the supermarket, I draw out a plan of the store and note down what we need in which aisle. Then, when we're cooking, I tend to go through the list of ingredients and if it says "1/2 chopped onion" I damn well get that onion out and start chopping it before we start! (Depending on when it's needed in the recipe, of course, sometimes you can do these things while other stuff is cooking).

The other thing I find is, I'm not sure whether this is the result of being a programmer or just me being weird but I find I have a strange memory for numbers. If I use them enough, I can remember credit card numbers, phone numbers, library card numbers... etc.

Phill Sacre
I remember numbers much better then strings.
Cory
Yeah numbers stick pretty well. Names, on the other hand.....ugh!
AR
Names and numbers stick with me if I write them down just once. As for the optimising the path through the store, yes, been there done that :P
X-Istence
@AR I have the same thing with numbers
Crippledsmurf
Is it just me, or are ingredients like "1/2 an onion" completely awful? Most produce comes in many sizes. I guess they mean, "1/2 an average sized onion." But, I don't want to average the mass of all the onions.
Howler
I can remember every number on just about every card in my wallet. I couldn't tell you the names of half of the people in my office, that might not sound so bad, but there's only 10 of us... I also find that I have an over propensity to optimise things.
BenAlabaster
There have been studies that prove that people, in general, have a very poor recollection of names. It's not just programmers, although the number thing probably is...
temp2290
1/2 chopped onion: Get an onion, and chop it halfway. Throw the partially-chopped onion in.
tsilb
tslib, it's like you can read my mind! Scary! ;)
Phill Sacre
+2  A: 

I find it annoying when I'm typing anything that's not code, be it IM conversations, forum posts or general writing in Word, and I can't get IntelliSense or tab complete words and phrases.

Nidonocu
Cell phones have it. You'll have to learn to TXT everything.
Mufasa
@Mufasa: Of course their predictive dictionaries often create more problems than they solve. Consequently I turned mine off...
BenAlabaster
+1  A: 

In my first two years of Computer Science at university, I learned patience and problem solving: how to chip away at things that were being very frustrating by not doing what I thought they would instead of just getting angry. I think that's a good habit.

Like others, I have lately tend to query rather than guess at the meaning of poorly or ambiguously phrased statements. or just those with no clear context. After clarification, I tend to explain how they could have phrased it better. This doesn't usually go down well.

It's hard to say if being neat made we want well organised code, or if the habit of well-organised and laid out code has made me neater around the house, but it's sometimes a source of tension.

Anthony
+47  A: 
  1. There is a reason for everything, I mean EVERYTHING, if someone is sad, why are they sad.
  2. I am now incredibly inquisitive, this is not a good thing, as demonstrated.

    Casual conversation: 
    B: "I'm sad"
    A: Why?
    B: "I don't want to speak about it"
    A: (Internal dialog) "Why would they be feeling sad, 
                       have they had a bad day, 
                       what's been going on in their life, 
                       did I say something wrong..."
    Some period of time elapses.
    A: Why are you sad?
    B: *Annoyed as well now*
  3. I want to fix everything, EVERYTHING. Above B was feeling bad, I must now fix their problem, because there is a fix to everything (EVERYTHING).

  4. I am addicted to cola and not in a casual one a day kind of thing.

  5. I try all the stuff as others do (copy-paste irl etc)

PintSizedCat
One of the hardest things I had to learn was to quit trying to fix things for other people.Before I swore off caffeine I was drinking 12-16 cans of Diet Dr. Pepper every day so I can empathize with the addiction to cola. I finally gave it up cold turkey.
StubbornMule
Yeah, the inherent "must fix it" thing drives my wife nuts. At least for emotional issues. But if the kitchen tap is leaking...
AR
My girlfriend HATES the fixing things thing too, i get frustrated because code is so precise and people aren't I tend to get annoyed at this lack of precision so I ask questions to find it, which irritates her more
Crippledsmurf
I think that's a male thing, wanting to understand and fix everything
johnc
Point 3: After a while you realise this is futile, and buy stuff that doesn't need fixing, and essentially give up on women.
JeeBee
Trying to fix everything is only bad when you fail. But you don't have to fail. Right now, your code looks like this:if (notice(Sad) == true){ try { findCause(Sad); } catch (LEAVE_ME_ALONE) { findCause(Sad); }}You need to work on your exception handling or on your findCause() method.
Sylverdrag
I think this is more of a male trait than a programmer trait, I hate to say it. The constant desire to fix problems rather than listen to the litany is often complained about, and is not just a fault of coders.
mmr
1, 2 and 3 are totally me. And this kind of casual conversation, it is the kind of conversation I always end up having.
Martin
one of my (female) friends once said: "go to a woman for sympathy, and a man if you want it fixed". Shortly followed by "Andy, can you fix my laptop?"
Pondidum
Find a fix to your cola addiction. There is a fix to everything! EVERYTHING!
Timwi
+4  A: 

Due to the quick changes of requirements in the IT industry I rarely finish off anything I st

;-)

Tooony
+3  A: 

Looking for code completion in all forms of text editors, including Word and Outlook.

Furis
A: 

I started using .com at the end of almost all my sentences, i am writing in Arial and i speak English better than my own language (Macedonian).com

Mote
A: 

I miss description / comment tags on anything. When I walk to school and there is a computer as "Jobstation".. after a while you find out you can only browser pre-set websites of popular employers, but you can't connect to internet.. Why isn't there any sticker with description? "study chair, study table, door, window", etc.. :)

Skuta
A: 

I tend to handle any decision relying on outside influence in if statements.

"if waiter was friendly, tip well

else if waiter was slower than expected, don't tip

else tip 10%"

Apparently pseudo code doesn't make for a nice conversation to normal people.

Cory Dee
+69  A: 

I have started writing Color instead of Colour. (I'm British by the way)

Martin Brown
Me too! (I'm Indian, btw, and have been regularly 'reprimanded' for using the wrong spelling on exams ;) )
Yuvi
I work very hard to ensure I don't do this. It makes me die a little inside.
DavidWhitney
Absolutely David. "Color", "my bad" and "I could care less" are, it seems, US-oriented coloquialisms that immediately spring to mind. It really should be "colour" and your bad what? and I COULDN'T care less; if you COULD care less, then you obviously have a modicum of care already. Argggghhhh!
Sprogz
Not forgetting our friend, the COLOUR, GREY. BackColor = Color.Gray? No.
Furis
Welcome to the dark side.
Joshua Carmody
I hate myself for it. Canadian here.
Jeremy Banks
I have a tendency to use colour in code and then grep it all before I compile, so the opposite problem.
Richard Gadsden
I've been in the US all my life and I still think that Gray is a stupid word. It should be Grey! And I get confused every time someone says "I could care less." Or maybe I'm just a bit special.
stalepretzel
That's funny. As a lifelong USAmerican, I have the opposite problem. The British spellings just look cooler. I don't generally get gigged for it too much though. We just aren't that defensive about our language here I guess. :-)
T.E.D.
Oh, and as an American, I believe the point of "I could care less" is that, as incredibly disinterested as I am, there's still a notch further down. I'm just not bothering to go there. To get the proper effect you have to say it in a bored or distracted manner. Turn your head away for the "less".
T.E.D.
Yep. I use 'z' instead of 's' all the time now too. It's just easier.
Daniel Lucraft
yes, i know what you mean. im australian and i write a blog, except i use american spelling since most of my readers are international
louism
Yep I am 100% American English now.
Jonathan C Dickinson
@louism, British English is formally known as International English. American is regarded as a dialect of English (no offense intended). If your readers are international, use British; if your readers are American use American.
Jonathan C Dickinson
Heh. No offense taken Jonathan. I suspect you Brits are the only ones who feel that way though. We Americans .. er... could care less. ;-)
T.E.D.
I have occasionally been tempted to go (in Java):class Colour extends Color() { ... }:P
Zarkonnen
(Only with fewer brackets after Color. I'm not awake today, am I?)
Zarkonnen
Yeah, my code is filled with `Color colour = Color.RED;` :-P
Gaurav
As the framework libraries are American English I prefer that my and my colleagues' .Net code should be written in the same language. After all, the word color was color before it was Frenchified by the English. Many 'Americanisms' are actually just examples of divergent evolution, and I despise linguistic jingoism (say that ten times fast). Comments, however, should be in the best Queen's English :)
Matt Howells
Question: Does this ever make you want to hurt international speakers who've been caught mixing US American with English?
Coding With Style
@Coding With Style: No. I've always believed in non-violent protest.
Martin Brown
@Matt Howells: God bless the Queen!
Martin Brown
Don't forget about us Canadians..... we take after the Brits :)
Mark
I thought this thread was about bad habits?
280Z28
I don't understand the usage of "could care less", it's clear they mean "couldn't care less", why would anyone choose to say something they don't mean?
scragar
i write Color in programming. but whenever im writing proper British English, i tend to be extra careful at Colour. =D
thephpdeveloper
@Mark: Yep, I'm canadian too. @scragar: Yeah I know, its supposed to be they care so little that they cannot care any less than they alread y are. @Zarkonnen: While you're at it (if String were immutible) class Strnig exetends String {}, Strign, Stirng, ...
Mk12
I find it quite irritating when a website/application asks me what language I want to use but uses the American flag to represent English! The alt text/tooltip might even say "US"! -_-
Phil
I love the British spelling. Highlight! With one exceptions .. If I had the choice, I would backport the zee into British verb. Internationalize!
relet
The OED seem to think that Internationalize with a z is a perfectly valid alternative spelling, so I say just use it. http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/page/157http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/internationalize?view=uk
Martin Brown
A: 

Rather regularly I try to click the light switch with my mouse when the dark becomes straining for my eyes.

borisCallens
+3  A: 

Expressing numbers in x times K. Like in: "My bed cost me two point one kay".

borisCallens
Especially when 2.1k = 2.1*1024 = 2150.4
Brian
I never think of K as 1024, not even in the context of computers. Ki(b) on the other hand, is 1024.
Oddmund
'Ki' means 1024, 'k' means 1000 and 'K' means Kelvin - SI/IEC for the win!
Christoph
Yes, I guess this is the point where I should be refering you to the XKCD comic then.. Well just let's do the inevitable: http://xkcd.com/394/
borisCallens
$2.1K for a bed? Pfft, gimme a futon off Craigslist for $25 and I'll dump the rest into a new rig.
tsilb
+11  A: 

ISometimesForgetToUseSpacesWhenIType

Vasil
I_sometimes_use_underscores_when_I_type.
Ape-inago
variable names =D
thephpdeveloper
And you use CamelCase. And things beginning with "i" like that should have it lowercase, à la Apple iTrend. @Mauris: Apparently you're declaring a variable named "names" and assigning a value of *D* to it.
Mk12
A: 

Not so much just programming but web design/development as a whole, I deconstruct and reconstruct real objects into websites or elements mentally and constantly throughout my day.

Living in a constant state of agitation because of so much bad typography around. A little kerning goes a long ways.

Mentally write out methods that operate the functions I perform on a daily basis, such as doing the dishes, folding laundry, et cetera (I also refactor everything so that I'm as effective as possible when doing said chores.)

A huge need for structure and order - if things are not done properly or don't look structured it throws off the whole balance of my day and I will dwell on that one thing until it's fixed.

thismat
+6  A: 

I sometimes use the wrong name for a person or a thing. I explain this by saying that in my brain this wrong name hashes in the same bucket.

A: 

I tend to over-analyse everyday things, I think that it annoys the missus when I come up with corner or edge cases about stuff that REALLY shouldn't be that complicated...

I am convinced that she is the only reason that I ever get anything done; left to me, most moments would have long passed by the end of the analysis phase.

I do think that it's slightly different to being pedantic, definitely a programmerism

Carl
+1  A: 

I get spooked when I'm about to try something, like, say, cooking something, and my first instinct is to make a backup of my 'work' first to try it and then revert if something goes wrong.

I'm far too used to working with a safety net. ;)

Fortyseven
+39  A: 

Pressing Tab too often when I am writting an email expecting some words to autocomple te.

Nick Masao
Configure your editor to do that.
In Mac OS, all Cocoa applications have dictionary auto completion when you press escape. I rarely use it, but it's there.
Jeremy Banks
CTRL+Space issues here too.
Jonathan C Dickinson
I use Ctrl+Enter *all the time*. Not so good in most email clients.
280Z28
you don't use emacs for writing emails ... shame. It's all text baby.
James Brooks
Emacs is for wimps. Vim 4 life! ;^D
slacker
So glad that my phone does this. HTC ftw.
Arda Xi
Then I would sometimes get my browser to quit (`C-W`) or open up a new window (`C-n`) because those are so grown in from vim
progo
HTC has a tab key?
Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
+3  A: 

I can just love websites because they are well designed, intuitive and useful. And I will tell all my friends about them (http://www.skyscanner.com, http://www.nestoria.co.uk/, http://openstreetmap.com/, ...)

And along with that, I can hate others. Because some are just wrong in the way they do things. It is irritating. Especially when you know they could have done better with a couple of days of work and/or a better interface (http://www.voyages-sncf.com, ...).

Franck Mesirard
+44  A: 

Being far too analytical about absolutely everything. It's a great attribute professionally, but only leads to frustration in my private life...

Chris B-C
oh yes that's true. i tend to see "not precise enough" everywhere because of analysing every sentence too much
agnieszka
A: 

I always try to use Ctrl-Spacebar in Outlook to complete my sentences for me when writing emails or in Live! messenger.

L2Type
A: 

I became obsessive with the latest or popular or best tool for programmers that I stay late at night to get be familiar with it.

OnesimusUnbound
A: 

my head is every day nearer to my right shoulder

Enreeco
A: 

wife: "I don't feel good."
me: "Please define 'I don't feel good'. Be more detailed."

lamcro
lol I have done that myself before
StubbornMule
A: 

I find myself continuously and subconsciously filtering all my world experiences to some inbuilt sorting algorithm (could be a bucket sort?). This has afforded me the ability to give attention to the top 10% or 20% and blissfully disregard the long tail everything else

To boot - I have a great relationship with my wife, daughter, dog and laptop (not necessarily in that order), but feck all else….

Perhaps this is why I find stack overflow such a cool site ;0)

Philip.ie
A: 

I find it very annoying when people aren't expressing themselves syntactically or semantically correct in written language. It has come to the point that I sometimes find myself refusing to read or accept what I'm reading if the person is unable to express themselves correctly.
It doesn't apply to standard human error though, just to people who consistently doesn't use correct language.

It has been this way for me for quite some time but recently I realized that most non programmers around me aren't really bothered by this.

David Holm
Ironically, "people who consistently doesn't use correct language" isn't correct language. :-)
Joshua Carmody
A: 

Never focusing on anything more than two feet away from my face. I'm developing all kinds of vision problems.

skiphoppy
+1  A: 

When I'm looking for real life things, I find myself wanting to put everything in a list and say List.IndexOf(item); :P

I also find myself correcting people more because what they said wasn't equivalent to what they meant :P course that may just be me...

Fry
+60  A: 

I find that most people get upset by mistakes.

I generally don't. I have always thought that the reason is that I am trained to accept that there will be mistakes, because compilation errors are a norm. When they happen, you fix them, and move on with your life. If you get upset over compilation errors, you won't last in this biz :)

EvilTeach
Eyyyy I do that to, i haven't noticed until now.
levhita
YES! i have the same feeling. mistakes are like bugs, dont sook, fix them and then theres no problem. too bad clients dont always see things that way :)
louism
Yes--I also have adopted a life style with built-in error checking when I interact with other people. I sort of naturally expect everyone to make a few mistakes and consider it part of social duty to watch out for other folks. When other people don't keep watch for "errors" I find that kind of strange.
Jeff
Then pity me. I had to process credit cards. Now, I don't get upset by mistakes, but everyone else does.
MrValdez
This is actually the biggest complaint about programmers at engineering companies. Engineering is all about being absolutely sure the bridge will not fall down, but programming tends towards the "build and fix" mentality.
Scott Whitlock
+12  A: 

I now drink way to much coffee.

Julien Grenier
Is that possible?
Bill Michell
I read this answer ... with my overflowed favorite cup of cofee in my hand.
Jonathan
Is it Java? I prefer Tea++.
Jake Petroules
+2  A: 

I've learned to create test cases. Seriously, before I do something now I think about breaking it down into smaller tasks then how to verify that each part works, and how to continue to verify it as I do further tasks related to it.

hendrixski
+7  A: 

Due the prevalence of online banking and credit cards, I have to think for a second or two whenever I have to write a check.... "OK fingers, spell out \"One hundred fifty-five and 0/100\" ".
In fact, I refer to all handwriting as "the analogue method" now.

Rodger Cooley
I've caught myself starting spelled-out numbers with the literal digit, like "2wo".
Michael Myers
+1  A: 

If someone signs an email to me with:

//Their name

I always sign my reply with:

/*My name*/
Niklas Winde
Haha thats funny :D.. I will remember this one!
Arcturus
A: 

If I'm working on something that I'm bored with, I start chewing my lips. It started in college when I would only let myself take breaks from studying for a test if I was hungry and had to eat. Now it makes me crazy.

Bill
A: 

Went out for lunch with a colleague, stopped off at the ATM for cash. Got into a rant about the user interface, collected my card, walked off and left £40 in the machine :(

Dan Dyer
A: 

I usually try to mentally press crtl + z to undo actions like pouring coffee over my desk or saying something stupid.

A: 

I'm addicted to SO (yes, already). I really should seek help.

roosteronacid
+351  A: 

I was getting lunch a few years ago at Rebecca's Cafe in Kendall Square and the girl behind the counter asked me what kind of bread I wanted and without thinking I said, "Whatever the default is."

She might still be laughing . . .

cciotti
Technically, I think your reply was appropriate, but then again I *AM* a programmer.
Joshua Carmody
If she's worked in Kendall Sq long enough, she's heard that more than once.
Clayton
I do that a lot in Subway, I usually expect everything to be just standard unless I tell it otherwise.
levhita
"Water, please." "still or sparkling? Small or big? With ice? With a slice of lemon?"
peterchen
I also use the word Default IRL.
Osama ALASSIRY
Water: Potable, Non-Potable. ... Potable please ( Potable == safe for drinking )
Brad Gilbert
cciotti
I do no longer realize that 'default' is a really weird word. Especially if you're using it in german sentences.
christian studer
I actually used it once when my boss asked what was in my meatball sub.. i said "just the default options" [obviously in a very deadpan manner, since i wasnt TRYING to be funny]. He thought i'd make a great standup comic.
Mostlyharmless
Really? It's weird? Never thought so. :)
Mehrdad Afshari
Yeah, I use it all the time in real life situations :)
cdmckay
@Osama: AFK, of course! :-) (/. story on Pirate Bay trial)
Lucas Jones
I am reading these responses to my wife and she really enjoyed this one! I am not sure if that's a compliment?
aleemb
Scientist: [resigned] Well, Homer, I guess you're the winner by default. Homer: Default? Woo hoo! The two sweetest words in the English language: de-fault! De-fault! De-fault!
Ben Laan
Sorry for the down vote but someone upvoted you to 257 and 256 is a much nicer number
Dolphin
I've totally been there.
Nate Bross
@Brad Gilbert: Double equal sign for equality ;-).
Mk12
I don't understand what is so funny about that reply.
cplotts
+1  A: 

I am reluctant to use things which I do not have enough information about. It's about being afraid of unexpected/unsafe behaviour and wanting to use something in the best possible way or not at all. Which is partly the reason why I'm still using a wired router for my computers instead of wireless routers which are the rage nowadays.

I use quicksort to sort my playing cards. Ok, just kidding.

blizpasta
Insertionsort while picking up the cards from wherever the dealer has thrown them this time...
dionadar
A: 

I have become very good at figuring out everything that's needed before embarking on a new adventure. I overplan.

Dana
+5  A: 

While most 'non-programmer' people have their outlook synchronized with their wifi-bluetooth strawberry phone, I use notepad for my tasks lists and memo notes ...

Philippe Grondier
+3  A: 

Some one suggested me to move them into a post:

  • Looking for polymorphism, inheritance and patterns in ALL of "Gods" creations.
  • Explaining the size of something in pixels and colors in hex code.
  • Using code related abstract terms in everyday conversations.
Jacob T. Nielsen
I just don't get what's so bad about #1. And I also doubt that it's got anything to do with you being a programmer.
innaM
+3  A: 

I'll often jump into a task (like, say, repairing the fence) somewhat thinking I can pause my work at any time, and worse, believing I can easily ctrl-z any major mistakes.

davebug
+62  A: 
davebug
+4  A: 
  • I dropped my keys in front of my door and tried to hit CTRL-Z with my left hand
  • During breakfast, I double-clicked on my bread to open the butterdish
Mr. Lame
Drag n'Drop would be nice for butter and bread ;-)
knight_killer
Wouldn't you double-click the butter dish? One clicks the thing that will do the action, not the thing the action is being done to.
tsilb
A: 

I tend to type a lot of all emails in all lower case so that they'll "compile correctly."

Electrons_Ahoy
A: 

i so long for Ctrl+Z

John Cleese
A: 

I set the volume on my stereo to powers of 2. The first few are generally too quiet, but 8 is nice for background listening, 16 when I want to actually hear it, and 32 for parties or when we all go out on the deck.

Of course there are times when it isn't right there, but there's no way I'd set the voulme to 15 or 17 :)

fatcat1111
+3  A: 

After doing some web programming I found that I was in the habit of supplying sample answers to my own questions. "How long will it take? 5 min, 10 min, 15 min, longer?"

Jeff
+12  A: 

When I listen to a question that's asked of me, and it isn't crystal clear what is being asked, I usually ask for clarification before I answer. But 99% of the time I could have spent some CPU and figured out what the question was. Some people I know don't carefully build their sentences, so it really pisses them off. If I don't do the work of listening, I'm not really listening.

Kevin Conner
Parsing unstructured text is difficult.
Osama ALASSIRY
My fiance gets so pissed when I ask her to repeat what she says 4 or 5 times over because I can't hear her over stupid cell phone reception (and she talks quiet). So rather than trying to take a few seconds to figure out what she meant I automatically just say "What?". Pisses her off so much X).
Jrud
Totally. Still having trouble breaking the habit.
Kevin Conner
A: 

Sometimes I get a weird urge to shout HELO in a conversation.

Jerry Cheung
+1  A: 

I try to end my IM chat conversations typing

exit
OscarRyz
A: 

Binary search in sorted lists! Specially dictionaries and references (the ones made of dead trees).

Leonardo Constantino
Why is that a bad habit? Chances are that you will not need to turn the pages more than 15 times.
+4  A: 

I think rather than programming, because the web has given me instant access to the information i need within a few seconds of typing into google. I expect answers from people to be just as consise and accurate.

When people don't answer the question that i ask them it drives me mad!!

For example: Me: What time did John say he'd be here?

Answer: Well he said he had to go to the store first to pick up a carton of milk for his great aunt who is bed-ridden, then he was going to wash the cat. Then later he has to pick up Mary from night school and they'll probably go out for dinner later. Oh....and he was wondering if you had dropped off the hedge trimmer you borrowed last week because he hadn't seen it around.

Me: So is he coming over then?

...

Declan Shanaghy
A: 

I find I remember a lot more about programming than the kinds of things people usually remember. Take a shopping list for example, I don't remember what's on the list because I should be able to refer to the list any time necessary. Addresses and Phone numbers are in a grepable text file, I never actually recall them myself. Etc.

dlamblin
+29  A: 

I tend to use '==' instead of '=' regularly, also sometimes indenting documents the way I would with C.

I don't consider it a bad habit, per-se. Alas; the rest of the world would ;]

+1 - I also use == as "equals" in my IM chats and email now.
romandas
It just makes sense, "=" is for assignment, and "==" is for equality! I just don't understand the non-programmers' thoughts on this one.
sirlancelot
Pascal would solve your problem ;).
tomp
There's already in this question many comments that use ==.
Mk12
A: 

Sometimes I accidentally and automatically end my sentences with semi-colons.

yjerem
A: 

I don't know, programming pretty much played right into all my bad habits. Before programming (BP), I was almost keeping them under control, which took a lot of constant effort. Programming was sort of like finally being able to take a leak after holding it for way to olong.

J Healy
A: 

Sitting here writing this in the evening instead of being with my wife (or working on the spec that's overdue).

mm2001
A: 

Almost all of the ones others have listed show up in my list too. Wishing the world could be more programmable. (Just the other day I commented to my SO while we were watching a story on the financial meltdown that it should be trivial to link a congressperson to their entire history of contributions, bills they've sponsored, their co-sponsors and their bills, etc. How unreachable a goal given the characteristic non-transparency of the political universe.)

+5  A: 

We are quick to get annoyed when other people are imprecise, or even to realize that they are being imprecise.

David Plumpton
+52  A: 

I think of powers of two as round numbers.

I throw my important documents into a shoebox instead of sorting them. I figure that I so rarely read from that cache compared to how often I write to it that it's overall cheaper to have expensive reads and really fast writes.

Excessive literalism. When playing something like 20 questions, I'll come across something like "is the object bigger than a breadbox?" and can't answer yes or no, because the answer depends on the size of the breadbox and the size of the object in question.

I think that floor numbering in Europe is more sensible than here in the United States.

I have an annoyance with English misuse of logical operators.

These may not be strictly because I'm a programmer, but more because I'm just a dork :P

I work in a building where the floors are numbered -1 to 7 with 0 instead of the ground floor. Usually, UK buildings have B instead of -1 and G for 0. Not having to make the substitutions made me very happy.
Richard Gadsden
+1 - powers of 2 are round numbers.
romandas
Our building rooms numbers include the floor, with 1 being the ground floor. The lift however starts its numbering at G!Powers of 2 are round numbers!
pipTheGeek
+1 for the powers of two.
Jeffrey Kemp
"20 questions" where I come from is basically Truth (without the Dare).
Mark
But what if the object is a loaf of bread?
Nick Lewis
2, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128, **256**, 512, **1024**. Repeat and put your favourites in bold.
Mk12
I am really bad at doing arithmetic in my head unless it involves powers of 10 or 2 so I've gotten really strange looks from my wife when asked something like: what's 128 * 16? and I'd say: hmm... 7 + 4 is 11... so 2048!
Ferruccio
+4  A: 

Thinking that powers of 2 are round numbers is one habit. Forgetting how to talk to people if I've been programming all day, is another.

Ian Hopkinson
+2  A: 

not concentrating on my studies

Omar Abid
+2  A: 

I no longer count sheep... I iterate a loop.

JTA
Whats wrong with enumerating livestock? :)
Splash
-funroll that loop. :-)
Thanatos
A: 

It's not a bad habit, but I've learned how to give very accurate, concise instructions. Thank you imperative programming!

Cristián Romo
+14  A: 

Noticing that the need of a reset button in a tool (home appliances, gadgets etc.) grows exponentially with the dependency on software. That depresses me as a programmer.

Romulo A. Ceccon
We had to reboot the stove once, after a night of intermittent outages. I had to power cycle it from the breaker box in the basement.
David Thornley
+6  A: 

I needed to watch Wall-E (or any other Pixar movie, for the matter) ten times before I could pay attention to the story: I spent most of my time trying to figure out the polygon count.

I was the only one laughing in the cinema when Wall-E played jingle during boot-up after charging.
porneL
+9  A: 

Caffeine and Nicotine addiction.

Jonathan Arkell
+12  A: 

I always end up sending one last IM at the end of a conversation that says "exit". Its embarrassing..

I do that as well. ctrl-X ctrl-s ctrl-x ctrl-c exit
Oddmund
I can relate to that. I always want to send an EOT or something.
Rob K
+84  A: 

Criticize paper forms that have unnecessary fields.

"Why does it ask for my age when it already asks for my birth-day?"
lamcro
memory <-> processing trade-off, of course. Memory is cheap nowaday so storing your age and your birthday is cheaper than reprocessing it every time it is needed. :P
Leahn Novash
@LeahnStill, what's the point of asking user for both? You can easily figure out the age and store in the database, without annoying user to answer the same question again.
ya23
@Leahn My birthday is static, but my age is dynamic!! If they store my age are they going to update that information anually??
Todd Friedlich
Oh god, don't get me started with zip code and city-state fields.
somacore
The reason for asking both in a typical survey is that people are stupid. They put the day of the month only in birth day, or even their most recent birthday, or are just plain old and forgetfull and get the wrong year. Still annoys me too though.
Greg Domjan
Another reason could be that receive and entry dates are not the same, so by asking for age and birthday they know the age at which the form was filled out and the current age via birthday. Of course this is edge case, but a possibility.
Quintin Robinson
I forgot to mention a birthdate and entrydate combo would work better then a static age in that edge case heh.
Quintin Robinson
Went to a doctor's office today. They gave me a form to fill. Guess what? It asked for my age. Oh well.
lamcro
@somacore,the programmer in me was forced to file this in the issue tracker. zip codes and city-states can have a many to many relationship. one zip code can belong to many city-states, and vice versa. i used to live in one city that had many zip codes, but now i live in one zip that has many cities. :P
Keith Bentrup
It's a checksum.
Matt Howells
It's a precomuted variable for quicker data entry. the database is not a computer, and the transcriber has 1000+ entries to do. People are bad at math.
Ape-inago
Seems pretty redundant to me. (I wonder: How many folks reading this will realize it's a pun and then realize it isn't?)
Coding With Style
LOL @MattHowells! (I have to remove the space or your name would be an invalid variable name. Sorry)
Mark
@Mark: In PHP that would be ${"Matt Howells"} :)
grawity
@somac actually that is necessary. For whatever reason the government decided we should have zipcodes that span multiple cities and in some cases even states!
Earlz
A: 

When I clean my house, I feel as if I'm "defraging" a hard-drive.

lamcro
+4  A: 

I like doing tune-up work (defrag, chkdsk, the works) on people's computers, if they are computer illiterate. I feel it's a calling, a ministry, an addiction. I wife thinks differently, especially if I do it for free.

lamcro
I thought I'm the only sicko doing that :)
ya23
The machine spirits are calling for your help :)
Kuroki Kaze
+2  A: 

Thinking that I'm dangerously under-caffeinated when I can't put two ideas together. Wondering, sometimes, why caffeine can't be injected. Would be much more efficient, wouldn't it?

Cigarettes and coffee. I once invented the caffeinated cigarette, and nicotinized coffee.
pookleblinky
+4  A: 

I often try to press Ctrl-Z in real life!

Simon Brown
+2  A: 

Occasionally, I look at the wall in my room and think: "Look at those specular highlights! I wonder how many poly's that is?"

dicroce
Silly, you should be asking how many rays you can see on the typical sub-scattered surface...
Ape-inago
A: 

I very regularly wish I could multi-thread many tasks.

Also wishing I could have a control / API / Scripting language to change real world environment variables.

Wait for a misspelled word's to become under-lined when hand writing.

Cory
+2  A: 
  1. Lack of patience, especially when things need to be fixed/changed. (Can't recompile to fix my car) 2) Overusing logic (most non programmers can't handle logic, so you end up with a lot of blank looks) 3) Smoking - i solve most tough problems over a smoke break.
Greg Dean
A: 

To start with

  1. Typing Ctrl+space while using text editors. This is essentially a auto completion feature in eclipse/netbeans. This happens more often than ending sentences with ';'
  2. Trying to illustrate list of things graphically using pen and paper - Sounds Good. Trying to do the same with your family/doctor - Bad. Numbering the first item as 0 (zero) - Ugly
  3. While taking snaps, asking people to do a Ctrl++ (Zoom) instead of asking to come closer
  4. Scolding your pals as 'Ctrl-Alt-Del' is funny though.
  5. I also tend to pause when I hear about cook books, do they have something to do with cooking or programming.
questzen
+1  A: 

I have trouble having civil arguments with other people sometimes. Programming has left me with an arguing style where I rephrase my argument until the other person (the compiler) is unable to respond (print a compilation error).

Unfortunately this leaves people with the impression that I bullied them into submission rather than compromising, even when the end result is the same. It takes a conscious decision to allow ambiguity or misinterpretation in the interest of harmony.

thank god! I'm not the only one!
Crippledsmurf
A: 

An irregular sleeping pattern (borderline insomnia and sleeping at the wrong time),

A less than optimal social life

A compulsion to find fault in almost everything.

A total dislike of meetings (of any length and nature).

Severe impatience with people who don't read error messages before calling in a support ticket.

A: 

I press the reset button before my girlfriend/parent has finished telling me what the problem is. Slowly they are learning to make backups. :)

Peter Wone
A: 

I tend to look at everything, from building design/architecture to mechanical objects to ATMs in terms of efficiency and ease of use, and will often say that "$RANDOM_OBJECT is badly designed" for the sake of making people realize things could be simpler if we really tried.

neohaven
+207  A: 

I've got caught out teaching my kids the three primary colours are Red, Green and Blue...

RodeoClown
You are correct - they are the additive primaries. The subtractive primaries are magenta, yellow and cyan (NOT red, yellow and blue).
Hugh Allen
I have and endless argument with my wife about primary colors, and she still gets confused when I talk about cyan and magenta (she thinks about them like purple and blue).
levhita
Don't let your ignorant people make you wrongteach your kids.
Oddmund
Teachers are so stupid. Even when I show them I am right (took them 2 weeks before they would look at my demo), they still keep teaching the wrong colors to my childeren.
GvS
@Oddmund: I think you mean "teach ungoodwise" :-)
sep332
LOL, it RYB does seem wrong, I prefer RGB or CMYK, maybe even HSL. Don't you hate it more when they talk about 7 Colors!! With White and Black that makes 9 which is not a power of 2, so you need to use 16 colors, what do you do with the remaining 7?
Osama ALASSIRY
you have to choose between different intensity of the 7 colors, or shades of gray. Why indigo? I'd remove that and add black and white to have something that fits in 3 bits.
Osama ALASSIRY
What, not RGBA? What about glass!
JeeBee
@JeeBee - I just never thought about it before. I assumed it was a property of the object, not an element in the colour...
RodeoClown
@ Osama: The key in CMYK is essentially black, so you got RGBCMYKW - and that makes 8!
dionadar
RodeClown: it's worse than you think. What we call "color" is a psycho-visual effect. It's a mix of properties of the object, the light, *and* the observer.
simon
Right, light is actually made of a mixture of different frequencies, depending where it came from. Sometimes different mixtures still look the same to humans (yellow appears twice in our spectrum). You can fool humans into seeing any colour, using a mixture of RYB paints, or RGB lights.
joeytwiddle
Boy, I didn't even know that was wrong! I'm forgetting my primary school stuff! I need help!
Here Be Wolves
Lol. Of course we all know the correct answer would have been Yellow, Magenta, and Cyan. I actually had a conversation w/ my 13yo about this a few months ago. The little git wouldn't believe me (good for him!)
T.E.D.
I have arguments with people all the time over what colours and "blue" and what colours are "green". According to my wife, pure cyan is actually "green". She won't accept that it's equal parts of both :)
Jon Grant
What they taught me in vision is that any three colors work, as long as you can subtract. In other words, take a color, put it next to a white surface, shine three different colors at either target at some intensity, they'll look alike.
David Thornley
Red, Yellow and Blue is only for painting. RGB isn't the "real" primary colours either, it is an additive set of primary colours, used when light is emitted (as opposed to reflecting light, or printed on paper, in which case the subtractive primary colours are used, CYMK).
Mk12
What if you've gone with the HSV model? Or perhaps said to you kids : "You know you can only see the color that actually isn't there".
Mihaela
Actually ryb is a really old subtractive model and never used anymore except for art. It has a very small gamut (range of colours) compared to other models. There is no "real" primary colours, i.e. green is only a secondary colour if you're using ryb. And it doesn't have t be hree colurs, it cold be more, but our eyes are tri-somthing-or-other, so we wouldn't be able to see th difference in the extra precise colours.
Mk12
A: 

After starting using a tablet pc, I started trying to Ctrl + C on paper...

Artur Carvalho
A: 

Whenever I stand in line to pay for groceries in a shop where you have one line that splits into many checkout tills at the front, I start thinking about grid computing and load balancing algorithms and whether the shop queuing solution can be improved, or if I can improve my servers based on my shopping experience.

(It passes the time while queueing I suppose :-)

Lee
+7  A: 
  • I look for symmetry in GOD's best creation -- girls ;)
  • At some social gathering with non-technical people, when my friends start a debate and when more than 2 of them talk simultaneously, I start to explain them about synchronization, mutex, etc.
  • I find myself using the words "abstract" and "encapsulate" a lot
  • Whenever I go to some restaurant, I start thinking how quickly can an order be queued, served, billed, etc. instead of enjoying the food. Basic Big-O and stuff.

Everything else is already told by my fellow programmers.

artknish
"I look for symmetry in GOD's best creation -- girls" Everyone does, however most do so subconsciously: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facial_symmetry
dionadar
+1  A: 

I am constantly trying to break problems down to smaller pieces. I'll have someone tell me they are having a problem with 'A' 'B' and 'C'. I ask for details about 'A', and I get their life story. That's nice, I'll say, but tell me about 'A'. Then they go off and tell me about how 'B' and 'C' are related to 'A'. Great, thanks for that information, but tell me about 'A'. Round and round we go until they tell me about 'A'.

Usually, the problem turns out to be a loose nut between the keyboard and the chair.

lol @ the loose nut. At last, someone who understands PEBKAC... which I've found is somewhat less accurate than IEBKAC.
BenAlabaster
+10  A: 

I celebrate Christmas eve on Oct 30.

Niklas
I don't get it :(
Filip Ekberg
Oct(al) 30 == Dec(imal) 24. I know, it's so bad it hurts but I can't help myself.
Niklas
Why would you celebrate Christmas Eve in the first place? Christmas Day (Oct 31), I understand...
DisgruntledGoat
In Scandinavia we celebrate Christmas eve, not Christmas day, but feel free to add one for increases funniness :)
Niklas
Fair enough. My cultural ignorance shines through ;)
DisgruntledGoat
Lol! (min-characters: defeated).
Mk12
+2  A: 

I try to ctrl + shift + f (Auto format in Eclipse) word documents and web pages that I don't feel are properly formatted. I feel pretty stupid when nothing happens.

jjnguy
+1  A: 

I find it unacceptable not being able to rollback real-world mistakes back to a previous state/revision.

Still trying to invent real-life version control repository. Time travel is not it.

icelava
A: 

I always think of decisions as a conditional statement and try to find a way to short-circuit the condition to get out of the question in the first place.

I also take the world's real-life objects and imagine them as programming objects. Like a cat is an animal Cat : Animal that has 4 legs public int Legs {get;}.

Chad Moran
+2  A: 

People have roles and things are objects. People can apply methods on these objects depending on their role. Ernie can drive a truck if he has a truck driving license.

Philippe Grondier
A: 

I've found myself thnking ctrl+alt+del while approaching my locked main door or car sometimes...

A: 

I get irritated if hings are needlessly complicated (like tosters or tv sets). I also got a hump ;).

lbownik
+3  A: 

My father asked me write a letter and he said "300 something.." I asked him is 300 integer or a string? he gave me a blank stare :-O

Regards V

+11  A: 

I was sitting on the couch watching TV and my roommate at the time (also a programmer) asked me to "scroll over" so that he could sit down.

He also handed me an empty Coke can and asked me to "delete it" for him.

bobwienholt
dont you have a garbage collector?
EricSchaefer
We usually say "shift left" or "shift right" one bit.
Osama ALASSIRY
Mk12
If someone takes too much space on the couch I ask them to perform lossless compression.
porneL
A: 

I use programming terms all the time to discuss real-life matters, including the person/computer metaphor (brain is CPU, things I'm doing are processes, etc.). It drives my fiancée crazy, and most of my family don't understand a damn thing I mean.

Chris Charabaruk
A: 

When I once locked myself out of the house, I wondered why I couldn't rezrov the door.

(Zork reference)

David
+4  A: 

When my wife asks me to take the dishes out of the washing machine I usually do that. As a result of me doing what she asked for she gets annoyed. Why? Because when she asks me to "take the dishes out of the washing machine" she means "pleas do that AND put new dishes in AND clean the surfaces around the sink". So programming has resulted in me processing every request quite literally.

kosoant
Did you tell your wife, "that is a Change Request..."
icelava
A: 

When I heard a discussion on social security numbers in a movie my brain immediately started thinking on how the validation of such a numbre should be done in an application.

kosoant
+6  A: 

< answer >writing emails which have imaginary xml in them< /answer >< snigger / >

Keith Patton
Invalid XML! Must have one root element.
tsilb
+30  A: 

bad jokes...

"God is real, unless declared as an integer".

Mauro
whatever floats your boat
Thomas
I would so kill to have that on a T-shirt.
MiffTheFox
Chuck Norris listens to port 65536
Alex Brault
+5  A: 

I've become a UI/usability fanatic:

One of the local Finnish gas (petrol, whatever) stations was acquired by another. All was well until they changed the credit card payment systems of the gas pumps. Previously the process went like:

  • 1) Credit card in,
  • 2) enter pin number (4 numbers) on a numeric keyboard just to the right of the credit card slot,
  • 3) select pump by pressing the left or the right flashing button to select the left or the right pump (from the perspective where I'm standing)
  • 4) credit card pops out
  • 5) start pumping

Now it's like this:

  • 1) Card in
  • 2) Enter pin number
  • 3) wait while nothing happens
  • 4) Realize that i have to press a friggin' OK button to proceed
  • 5) Select a pump by entering its number on a separate numeric keyboard that's located on top of the payment interface. To enter the correct pump number I have to check what the number is on the pump.
  • 6) Credit card pops out
  • 7) Star pumping

Way to f'n design an interface!

kosoant
The "OK" button on number pads and ATMs really really annoys me. Some ATMs read the pin and continue, some sit there, waiting for you to press OK or ENTER. GRAAARRGGHGHHHHH
JeeBee
The waiting for okay is caused by the fact that many banks allow PINs longer than 4 digits, and if it didn't wait for the okay, you'd only be allowed to use cards with 4 digit PINs...meaning that anyone with cards having PINs of longer than 4 digits wouldn't be able to fill their cars with gas...
BenAlabaster
Works much better in the US; pretty much all the same. Card in and quickly remove; hit Credit; select grade; pump. Reset card in wallet while waiting. Aww crap, no I don't want a carwash!
tsilb
A: 

Not Programming but CYBERHABBIT!..

Whenever I need to look for something (like my keys, eye glasses,remote control etc.) in my house or in my office, I allways think there must be a "find and search" functionality that can be really usefull. But there isn't. :((

Funny but it is true.

+1  A: 

Whenever I get into a fight/heated discussion with my girlfriend, I tend to interrupt her to get her to specify exactly what she means with something she just said. She often fails to do so, which results in me reiterating the question until I get an answer that rules out all possible ambiguities. It also results in her being even more furious than before, thus beginning to express herself even in less precise ways. Engage recursion.

korona
+2  A: 

Nightmares of programming.

Ramesh Soni
Those are really bad.
fluffels
In the mornings I used to stay asleep after my alarm clock went off, and I'd dream I was debugging it. ... not pleasant.
John MacIntyre
Holy crap, that happened to me this morning.
jdc0589
A: 

Spelling mess ... this will kill me!

gath
+55  A: 

Being a college coder, I tend to take notes in programming syntax now. It is actually a really good habit, as it tends to save me a lot of time.

For example, I might write something like "This != That" or, in history I find myself doing this one, I'll write "while(WWII) {stuff that happened during WWII}.

Funny thing is, people stopped asking to copy my notes. Odd...

This gets really bad when you start mixing programming syntax with set-notation symbols (for discrete/combinatorial classes and the like).
Tim
Alex Brault
Using == for equality. I've seen this many times in this question (in comments) alone.
Mk12
valya
It's even worse when you start mixing in stuff from calculus. (Derivative notation to show changing trends, etc.)
bcat
I use JSON/inline YAML to write lists and maps on a single line.
Cristián Romo
I like denoting comments on my notes with //
amdfan
Why not learn shorthand? It's essentially a DSL optimized for taking notes.
Ferruccio
+2  A: 

Does ADD count? Having projects frequently "switch gears" at my company, and constantly having my thought process interrupted by sudden e-mails, phone calls, meetings, annoying coworkers, and even shiny objects has caused me to feel like I can't pay attention to anything anymore! I rarely even watch 5 minute Youtube videos all the way to the end.

Joshua Carmody
5 minutes? I generally leave at around the 30 second mark unless my relevancy filter is triggered.
X-Istence
+1  A: 

Self-explanatory:

# find /home -name remotecontrol
Andrew Moore
# find /home -name carkeys
BenAlabaster
+4  A: 

I tend to critique every UI, every program. And if it's only my head and don't tell - but I freaking often think things like "Why the hell is this button there and not there", "who the hell can possible grasp the meaning of these choice boxes".

Ronny
I do this out loud, and sometimes VERY LOUD.
Greg Domjan
+36  A: 

Not sure if this is a bad habit or not, but I interrogate store cashier's when they ask for any sort of information when I am purchasing/returning an item.

Q: "What is your postal code (zip code)?"
A: "Now why would you possibly require that? Can I see your privacy policy? May I speak to a manager?"

Q: "Can I see some ID?"
A: "No."

Nathan Koop
When asked for a zip, I answer twelve thousand three hundred and forty five.
niXar
:)))))))))))))))))))))))
Andrei Rinea
First I need to determine if they are big or little endian. Clearly a good magic number to use is 1f 8b 08.
Jonathan C Dickinson
ever tried answering that zip code question in hex...? mine has 3 letters and one digit (or rather 3 digits over 0b1010...) in a country where zip codes are digits only...
dionadar
Just lie, man.(character limit: defeated)
Thomas
you live in Niskayuna, @niXar?
warren
One of my coworkers just starts to make up numbers, like 17 (we use four digit postcodes here)...and it's working!
Bobby
My rote memorization skills are poor (associative memory (hash!)) so I thought I'd never remember my whole Zip+4 code [count(digits) > 7], until it turned out the +4 part was 1024 FTW!
Stephen P
A: 
  • writing functions as f(x){x^2+2*x+1} instead of f(x)=x^2+2x+1 during math class
  • adding additional apostrophes at the end of words that contain and odd number of them like can't'
  • wishing Word would synatax highlight things that I wrote.
GameFreak
+243  A: 

If I ask a question that's yes/no, I have serious difficulty processing an answer that isn't either one of those.

For instance, Q: "Do you care if I flip the channel?" A: "I'm IMing my sister."

To me, this is like: public bool canFlip() { return "I'm IMing my sister"; }

The return value here is clearly a string, and supposed to be a bool. From the other person's end they're answering the question. From mine they've just committed an invalid cast error. If I ask again and they answer the same, well, that's throwing an exception in a catch block.

callingshotgun
They are operating in a scripting language with dynamic typing ...
Heat Miser
Just upvoted for that comment - it's hilarious.
Richard Gadsden
You need to implement the adapter pattern to parse the string and determine if it's really true or false
Martin OConnor
@Heat Miser - best realization ever!
Dragoljub
Well, when they return you invalid types, you can always throw an exception of type EBluntObject.
Leonardo Herrera
You have to cast/convert it
Eranga
This constantly happens with me. Or when they do answer back with the correct value, it's usually an answer to something I didn't ask. So I have to constantly ask "what do you mean?" or "can you explain?".
Dennis
@Heat Miser good one !
Rithet
I'd be more likely to use: bool canFlip = true; //or false, depending on what I would //prefer the outcome to be... bool.TryParse(response, out canFlip);If I get an invalid response, then I'd do whatever it was I wanted to do originally...
BenAlabaster
See, in FLF (Female Language Framework), you have to realize each seemingly irrelevant answer is in fact a partially qualified class identifier, where this class should be automatically instantiated and actually be used as a Strategy design pattern... That is, "I'm IMing my sister" class can perform the canFlip method call for you - and it of course either returns a true response, or throws a IReallyDontCareDoWhateverTheHellYouWantException...
AviD
Hmm, on second thought it might override canFlip to return an Enum, instead of a bool. {true, false, dontcare}... http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/What_Is_Truth_0x3f_.aspx
AviD
Just accept No for "No", Yes for everything else :)
djeidot
Use duck typing. If it sounds like a yes it's a yes
Vihung
@Leonardo Herrera - Funny story. In a fit of frustration at my inability to fix her laptop, she once chucked a textbook at me. The title? "Conflict Resolution"
callingshotgun
Actually it makes perfect sense! The non empty string evaluates to true, so you can always flip the channel :-).
Tom
That will be kind of the problem with quantic computers, you'll get an answer of type ShrödingersBoolean.
streetpc
@AviD the problem with FLF for programmers is that some returnTrue() methods actually return false. We need an implementation of assertions IRL.
streetpc
If I had a dollar for every time I've said "You still haven't answered my question....."
Nick Hodges
This is why .net introduced nullable bools.
dotjoe
You're all using the wrong abstraction level. You've initiated a protocol negotiation, not a method call.
brice
I guess that `public bool canFlip() { return "I'm IMing my sister"; }` returns FILE_NOT_FOUND;
ybungalobill
+8  A: 

I often speak with people (usually my wife) expecting a boolean answer, and they return null, which spreads through the entire conversation and pretty soon we have no idea what we are talking about.

Eli
A: 

As a debugger... I draw paralells between looking at whats behind what I see in software and what I see in real life...

For example... often times a small square on the screen took 4000 lines of superfluous code to put there... and did all sorts of things behind the scenes...

The innocent question... do you like my top???? well... I just know there is more to that...

+22  A: 

Seriously this happened today.My father asked what day of the week today is.I walked all the way to my computer room and looked into my computer's calender and said "Monday" ! I missed 3 calenders which were hanging on the wall , on the way to my computer room :-(

Unmarked wall calendars don't tell you unless you already have the date. In either case you should have checked your PDA.
tsilb
I never use wall calendars. They require me to know part of the data I'm looking for. That's unreliable (if I didn't know day of the week, why would I trust myself with day of the month?)
porneL
+12  A: 

I guess the question could be "what things do you do that your significant other finds annoying or inexplicable?"

One, I have a "search don't sort" philosophy when it comes to putting clothes away. Instead of putting shirts in one drawer, socks in another, etc. I put them in the first available drawer as it's much more efficient to just look when you want something then spend time putting certain things in particular places.

I feel compelled to run the dishwasher and laundry at bedtime, as it's just idle time and those activities do not require human intervention. Like doing a backup at night.

I once started listening to a radio program in the middle of a "top ten" countdown, after they played #1 I was confused as to why they didn't play the top song.

My five year old also begins lists with zero - as in plans for the day: 0 - pick up amanda from her appointment, 1 - go home, 2 - play my lego batman game. I asked him why he started with 0, his answer: "well, if we started with 1, we wouldn't pick up amanda."

Lance Kidwell
Search don't sort seems inefficient to me for most things. Indeed, when hanging washing, I sort then, matching socks so they sit next to each other on the line for example.Sorting is better. :)
Alya
+31  A: 

When I send an e-mail, write a document or use im I very often end sentences with :wq

Are you married to a woman called Vi?
Daniel Earwicker
Use ":x"! Boost your productivity! :D
codebliss
+754  A: 

I try to compress orders at restaurants by giving all necessary information in one packet. This frequently does not work, because the order taker's task buffer is limited to one piece of data at a time.

Fast Food [Guy|Girl]: Can I take your order?

Me: number 6, BBQ, diet cola, debit.

FFG: What dipping sauce would you like?

Me: BBQ, diet cola, debit.

FFG: What would you like to drink?

Me: Diet Cola, debit.

FFG: Is Pepsi OK?

Me: [ponders Abstract Base Classes and the FFG's lack of Polymorphic Behavior] Sure. I'll pay with my debit card.

FFG: And how will you be paying?

Me: [sighs] debit.

Matthew Scouten
I totally understand. Happens to me all the time too.
Joshua Carmody
Same, but I guess I've been lucky enough that almost all of the time the staff remember exactly what I've said and seem to appreciate it.I find it horribly painful when anyone orders slowly when I'm there.
Jeremy Banks
sometimes they do get it but it is funny to watch them pause and parse everything slowly
postfuturist
I got that in a Subway once. "I want a six-inch Southwest Steak on Parmesan Cheese." "What kind of bread? Foot-long or six-inch? What kind of sandwich?" By the fifth question I'd already answered, I'd concluded there must be a more optimized restaurant elsewhere, and left.
Kyralessa
I always wonder how much of this stupidity is, well, personal stupidity, and how much is company policy.
peterchen
peterchen: how on earth does it benefit the company to make them ask questions to which they already know the answer?
Matthew Scouten
I think its mostly due to the repetitive and mundane nature of the job, and the steps they _must_ undertake to complete their task, that means they're on auto-pilot most of the time.
digitala
Think about how often you have your focus on something when someone comes at you with a long-winded question... it takes you a while to free your memory for this new query, and you often have to ask for the query to be retried.Heh... talking about the real-world with computer-speak... :|
digitala
@Jeremy Banks - +1 for the slow order people comment!
Redbeard 0x0A
Consider that they must be runnng a command line interface which can only handle one prompt/response at a time
Mike Sutton
I worked on the till in McDonald's for a year. About 1 in 80 people (just my estimate) don't follow the normal ordering path and by the time you get to that one person your brain is well and truly in day dream mode. By the way, was that a large meal you wanted?
Martin Brown
Understand, I am not saying that the FFG is stupid (at least not chronicly). I have worked as a register monkey, so I know all about the acute stupidity that starts to effect one repeating the same task. That does not stop my frustration when others behave like poorly programmed robots.
Matthew Scouten
This doesn't happen to me, but I up-voted because it is funny, and true.
Brad Gilbert
Haha - classic. This deserves to be in an xkcd comic.
Jonathan Sampson
I do that as well at restaurants and my date typically complains I'm being rude.
jtyost2
I've given up. I only speak when prompted, and add options at the end.
Will Hartung
Damn - I do this all of the time, except I leave off the payment method:me: #10, No Mayo, replace fries with Onion Rings, with a mountain dewBurger Jokey: What do you want to drink?Me: Mt. DewBurger Jokey: Total is 9.34Me: Son ofa bitch, fries, a diet coke, and mayo!
Chance
your are only incompatible with the protocol -> packet collision !
Blauohr
+1 not because it happens to me, just because it's funny :D
Thomas
Subway has this issues. You tell them exactly what you want and two seconds later they will still ask.
X-Istence
I oncer referred to a McDonalds cashier who asked if I wanted fries right after I told him I wanted fries... as a poorly written command line program. He didnt get it, by the programmers eating lunch with me about died laughing.
Neil N
I agree... applyable to xkcd !!!
Jhonny D. Cano -Leftware-
aww, this is the coolest i guess :)
martani_net
listen buddy, you need to put those values in an enum and give her integral constants instead.
Jonathan C Dickinson
"Hi, I'd like a 2 helpings of fries" , "Would you like fries with that?", "Well, actually, yes, 2 please" --> 4 helpings of fries ^_^ , but really, pilot asleep at the wheel on that.
Kent Fredric
LOL That was great! +1
gnovice
You're at +256, so I can't upvote. :)
Don Werve
Next time skip the debit card. "Thank you sir. That will be $4.78." Hand her a $10 Bill and a nickel ($0.05). Wait for the fun to start.
kenj0418
Come to think of it... I get those all the time but never thought about it being a "programming" traits... :-)
chakrit
hah. best answer yet. +1
lyrae
Took me a while, but I've come to adopt the Dogbert Principle at all these interactions - "People are stupid", yup, just need to sink in a protocol interpreter :).
AviD
But actually, back in high school I too worked at a Subway, and after noticing this numerous times with my cowirkers, I got them all to first REPEAT whatever the customer ordered. This helped a LOT, since the FFG would now actually have to store it in temporary memory long enough to repeat it, hopefully she actually listens to herself... (though it still not perfect, waddaya gonna do bout that Dogbert principle... :S )
AviD
@kenj0418: She'll just give you back the nickel and make change for the $10. I doubt she could comprehend a 5 and a nickel for a $4.05 order either.
MiffTheFox
@kenj0418: There was a Dilbert strip on that many years ago; I wish I could remember the words.
Michael Myers
I do that too, didn't even realize why I do that till now, thanks :D
kkaploon
Eh, asking whether a Pepsi will do instead of a Diet Coke is an understandable question. If someone substitutes a 7-Up for a Sprite for me I don't really like it - 7-Up just tastes different to me.
Coding With Style
So you can perfectly remember any quickly spoken sequence of words without even the slightest doubt (because I'm sure you would be more pissed if they got your order wrong) over the 30 seconds or so it takes to enter an order... every single time? I'm impressed.
Daniel Straight
Did anyone bother thinking about the $10 and a nickel for $4.78. The change is $5.27. That's a bill and 3 coins. Without the nickel, it's $5.22, a bill and 4 coins... but you saved giving them a coin, so the net number of coins processed is the same. How does this help anyone exactly?
Daniel Straight
"I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that"
Mitch Wheat
@Daniel Straight: that's what I thought too. Would make more sense to give $10 and three pennies, wouldn't it?
Benjamin Oakes
@Coding With Style: I don't CARE weather it's Coke or Pepsi. If I have a choice I will take Coke, but I never seem to have a choice in a restaurant. I get tired of being asked if I want the other one so I order the category (Cola) and expect to get the correct subclass for this place. It never works.
Matthew Scouten
You experienced a server stack overflow
Kelly French
If you typically order the same thing, use a stored procedure. Once you've visited enough times that the staff have your preference memorized you just call theUsual(); and it's sorted :D.
Adam Luchjenbroers
Argh, I hated those moments too. To me it usually happened when I needed a train ticket *quickly* but the damn person on the counter apparently wasn't able to parse that I gave all answers to all question they would ask me in a single sentence. Luckily that stopped once I could order tickets on the web and print them at home. Then I only had the problem of a jammed printer moments before I had to leave ...
Joey
HAHAHAHA! I get this all the time too! I've tried that before and get the exact same subsequent results. Specifically at McDonalds! This is so classic, hahaha.
Daniel Carvalho
Subway is the worst. "I'll have a Flatbread, BMT, with provolone, toasted." Sandwich maker comes back with bread... "What do you want on this?" etc. :( Starbucks on the other hand... :)
Triynko
When someone asks whether Pepsi is ok when you asked for a Coke, you should always respond "Is Monopoly money ok?"
Kimmo Puputti
A: 

I tend to end sentences with semi-colens, and try to simplify everything and write it in the most efficient matter.... doesn't help with my english essays... also, i use why too many parenthesis

A: 

I want a Ctrl+F in real life. I end IM lines with semi colons. I use bitwise logic at all times. Every time I see a pipe (|) I want to add another one, to make it an OR

Worst of all, I test of XSS exploits on almost every site I visit. I have angered more than a few admins when I email them about it.

Totally! Ctrl-F "Car Keys" ... Ctrl-F "Willing Partner"... ;)
BoltBait
+2  A: 

I optimise everything in my head to come up with better implementations. This frustrates the hell out of me when it comes to things I can't control - like moronic airport security, or train timetables that run appallingly behind schedule.

It ends up being quite a source of stress :/

madlep
+1  A: 

After prolonged periods of writing C/C++ I find myself hitting ";" at the end of each sentence;
Not so good for documentation;

+1  A: 

I try to compile all of my word documents instead of save. I also start counting from 0 a lot of the time :p

+9  A: 

In high school, I could spell ANYTHING. Now I'm lucky to spell my own name right.

F7 saves the day :-)
Techboy
Really? I've found that I'm incredibly picky about spelling, because misspelling variable names causes all sort of fun issues.
Xiong Chiamiov
As long as you spell it wrong the same way every time, all will be fine.
Jrud
@Jrud Yep. HTTP_REFERER, anyone?
Jake Petroules
+1  A: 

Seeing mapping everywhere and considering everything as a virtualisation of everything

A: 

Whenever I turn on my laptop, I have to fight the urge to get on my work VPN. I also get anxious if I go a day without checking my work email.

Gaming related, after long stints of playing first person shooters, whenever I need to see something far away, I try to zoom in... and then become sad. I can see similar eventually happening due to iPhone/iPod touch pinch/strech functionality.

mltorrefranca
The 'zoom' reminds me of an episode of 'Red Dwarf' when they converted their robot Kryten into a human. Funny stuff.
Kelly French
+19  A: 
mltorrefranca
What does this have to do with bad habits? This belongs in the best programmer cartoon question [closed] and its already in there.
Mk12
I have that on a t-shirt. People often ask me to explain, but they're rarely around by the time I finish.
porneL
His bad habit is randomly posting xkcd cartoon in inappropriate places.
Matthew Scouten
+1  A: 

I find patterns and algorithms for everyone's behavior. They usually come out to be true, specially the ones for my wife and governments. It is seriously disappointing.

A: 

My worst is to speech with variables inside my sentences, like

"If you wanna do this thing, go to $yourprovider and ask for $module_for[$action_you_need] "

this sometimes, is useful... .. someothertime make me not understandable..

I also speak about colors using HEX code...

Joshi Spawnbrood
that doesnt sound like a "bad habit"more like a "way to sound cool"
Midhat
A: 

when i write essays and am editing long sections, i find that i type // to comment out the old section.

A: 

I'm not sure if this totally came from being a programmer, but I tend to try to fix any problem that is presented to me... which drives my wife crazy.

"I didn't ask you to solve my problem. I just wanted you to listen."

BoltBait
actually thats a guy thing.check out the mr fixit chapter in"men are from mars, women from venus"
EvilTeach
A: 

1) Zero is nothing. Zero is also a positive number. Therefore, nothing is a positive number.

2) I sometimes find myself riding my bike in the evening as the sun is getting lower, wondering how I am managing to get such nice graphics at such a perfect frame rate.

3) I have a habit - I don't know if this is a result of my computer use - of never looking continuously at a single object for more than about 10 seconds. It's probably the reason I haven't gone nearsighted from constantly sitting in front of computers. Even if I'm reading a book or concentrating really hard on some nearly unsolvable problem, I glance away every few seconds.

A: 

It makes me think about scalability LITERALLY EVERYWHERE. The most common example? When accumulating milk cartons for recycling, my girlfriend just stacks them somewhere, but I know that it won't scale up to dozens of cartons, so I fold them maniacally so that I can collect up to probably 200 cartons in a drawer, before having to take them out. Same for plastic shopping bags: I keep them in another plastic bag, and then I usually reuse them as garbage bags. Normal people just pushes the new bag in the heap, somehow, and in the end no more than 20 bags will fit. I fold them perfectly and can store hundreds of them. Not surprisingly, people don't get it when I claim that my solution "scales better".

Salvatore Iovene
A: 

I also have another one: if I get a shopping list by my girlfriend, I get to the shop, read the list, and wish she had sorted the items so that I would find them in the order I would walk the aisles of the supermarket. Of course this is not the case, so I mentally sort them to most optimal order.

Salvatore Iovene
A: 

I used the terms "exactly", atleast" and "atmost" alot. (I got rid of it).

Someone: is there a bag on the table Me: Yes there is atleast one bag on the table (If i cant see the whole table) OR there is exactly one bag on the table

Midhat
A: 

I was out at lunch with my workmates. One of them kept pestering me to answer when a project I was working on would be finished. I kept telling him that it would be finished soon but I could not give him a precise time. He kept on pestering me. Eventually I exclaimed, "Jon, I don't want to parse this subtree again!" Probably a simple, "I'm will not explain this again." would have sufficed.

+58  A: 

i want to refactor the government.

Dustin Getz
At this point, it could be faster to write a new one from scratch.
Sylverdrag
Yeah, sounds about right.
Jeff
Just write your tests first. We made the mistake of skipping that step the first time, and now we're ruled by an Oligarchy that doesn't understand the *meaning* behind the Constition and its Ammendments.
tsilb
@Sylverdrag a complete rewrite is rarely a good idea. Better to implement an [anti-corruption layer](http://domaindrivendesign.org/node/85) and do incremental rewrites of individual subsystems.
codeelegance
+10  A: 

People (the normal ones) find me slow at times. It's just they don't know that I thing CODE. When facing a major coding problem, it's not uncommon for me to think about the code when going to sleep, kinda see code in the dreams and code being the very first thought in the morning. This is sick, still can't get rid of it.

alex
Have the same problem.
Chaoz
Yea... thats me.
Justin Drury
A: 

This might sound crazy but I think I am more organized because of programing. This is because I have to perform so many different tasks due to programing which includes Podcasts, Videos, Articles, Blogging, Reading etc.

There was no way out except to organized my tasks.

azamsharp
+1  A: 

By others (see below), the worst thing is, by far, that I have developed an intriguing dependency on computers and internet. Not because I am a lazy nerd not able to spend my time otherwise. Just because when working in that job, you get used TOO MUCH to these tools.
Probably comparable to a mechanic who forgets about the utility of his bicycle the day his own car breaks down.

other things:

  • not beeing able to Ctrl-F in a book,
  • searching for Ctrl-Z after having dropped something on the floor,
  • spending more time to think of building a tool to simplify a specific task instead of either programming that tool or even do that task right away,
  • in consequence, not liking easy jobs that could be even more easy if it could be scripted,
  • trying to greasemonkey every awkward webapplication.

edit: oh, forgot about this one: trying to intellisense and do tab-completition in normal text editing and even handwriting (but only when really tired, tho :)

lImbus
A: 

Whenever I need to quote something in an instant message, I often use ''' or """.

So far, I haven't been called out on it

Alex Brault
+82  A: 

I use the phrase "non-trivial" a lot. Confuses the rest of the family no end.

At a friend's birthday, he was bringing a plate of food to the table but there was no room.

His comment: "Heap overflow"

My response: "There'd be room, but there's too much fragmentation of the free space"

ROFL .
DoctaJonez
+6  A: 

I never say "oh" when I mean "zero" when I have to say a number, even if it obvious that it couldn't be the letter.

alexp206
+14  A: 

Am I the only one here that thinks most of the answers on this thread are confusing cause and effect?

ChrisA
Absolutely. But still, it’s fun :-)
Ilya Birman
No, because "programming" is actually a mindset, not just the physical activity of typing code. Notice some of the answers mentioned they had these traits long before picking up a compiler - they were programmers in spirit. Choosing a career that matched their personal traits, that came later (and for programmers, is completely logical - otherwise they'd get an IllegalCastException)
AviD
A: 

if remember something i want to show to someone i forget that im irl, and automatically think of hyper-linking it to them

A: 

As a programmer, i find it hard to survive in the real world without CTRL+F for physical objects(like keys), and text based books

A: 

I always want to build a situation before I step through it.

A: 

My son asked me to review a paper written for one of his college courses. I started logging "defects" against him.

A: 

I also try to get from point a to point b as efficiently as possible, and before starting a task I'll execute it in my head. I will step through everything that I will do and in what order to do things as efficently as possible. I will also be precise in my language and will on accident say things like "whatever the default is" my english as a result becomes very choppy. The final thing that I do is set everything in straight rows, I'm not sure if that's from programming, or from being OCD... I do it in my programs too, every line MUST be same length, unless syntax dictates otherwise.

+1  A: 

the universe is deterministic, we just haven't got the manual for the debugger!

A: 

I now have no problems starting an argument with any computer operator who insists that I am wrong and they are right because they spent millions on their application.

I take great delight in parsing other's sentences or statements so as to impart the most ambiguity. It makes me feel smarter than the average bear. Yes, I am sick.

A: 

I indent everything...

I do maths when I really don't need to...

And (I know it's been said) I regularly nest brackets, sometimes to four or five levels. This is especially prevalent in online forums (I don't do it when writing, but regularly do when typing anything)

I instinctively reduce anything into its smallest possible functionality, and think anything can be done procedurally, which causes problems when any level of multitasking is required (eg when driving, my head is sure it's perfectly acceptable to apply gas, raise clutch then steer - instead of all 3 at once)

I use excessive amounts of whitespace and comment on everything (for example, notice all the brackets at the end of my paragraphs) - surely a side effect of documentation

+1  A: 

I now start to analyse everything and anything, and complain if the "requirements" are not complete enough! ;-)

Wagner Silveira
A: 

Anytime I would notice interesting "human"behavior, I would try to think off what it would take to program it. I then try to explain all the hidden complexities to my friends, who them want to punch me.

+1  A: 

gosub grocerystore

return

Andrew Hedges
A: 

Reliance on the "undo" button, e.g. while cooking.

Ali A
A: 

Every time I see someone performing a repetitive task i start thinking about how i could automate it. Even if I'm the one doing it I always think, "A computer would be done by now."

also, i wish life had an 'end' key.

Why would you want an 'end' key?
LuRsT
+12  A: 

I no longer think of a constant variable as an oxymoron

I do. What programming language are you using?
Joe White
+80  A: 

I see it in how my young children communicate.

For example, my 4 year old wanted me to open the door.

He phrased it as: "Daddy, can you take the door out of lock mode?"

Alan
Teach them when they're young..
Jonta
My daughter went into the bathroom and notices that the seat was up. She exclaimed, "Hey! The toilet is set on 'Boy'"!
Loki Stormbringer
+1 for cuteness.
Coding With Style
Please don't take it personally, but I personally found this retch-inducing. -1.
j_random_hacker
Havent you taught your son abstraction?! Sure it would be taking the door out of lock mode but the function to cause this action would be called "unlockDoor()"! :)
Razor Storm
A: 

I tend to use cancel, apend, delete etc

Shoban
A: 

When asked to pass the Arial in the kitchen, I got confused... (Ariel is a washing up liquid, apparently)

+2  A: 

Let's say somebody asks "does anybody here know about [whatever]?" If I do, I'll say yes, but if I don't, I'll say nothing, and they might complain that I don't reply.

If I said "no", I would be replying for everybody else! And "I don't" is not exactly an answer to that question.

So, since everyone can only answer regarding themselves, failure to get an answer should be understood as "nobody knows".

Actually, in these situations I mostly end up saying "I don't", choosing to be annoyed rather than annoy them.

Germán
+1  A: 

I keep trying to change my wife's operating system. The current one is unpredictable, flaky and seems to crash frequently. It also costs me a lot in maintenance fees.

I keep trying to reboot her with Ubuntu Linux, but keep getting an error message of the form:

"REDMOND00314: This software is not comaptible with the target firmware. Please hit the men-o pause key to continue".

Help!

A: 

I find faults in music (as in - I DEBUG it). And although it can become VERY annoying, it actually helps me as a producer.

For instance, go listen to the song "Fire" from the Ohio Players. It's a great song with great feel --- not to mention, it's groovy. HOWEVER, listen to the bass line as in some places it's fairly naked. There is an OPEN A STRING that rings out!!! Although you can barely hear it, it just sticks out like a sore thumb. It makes me want to kill the bass player (and I AM a bass player).

+2  A: 

I can't grasp the punctuation stuff either. I close things in the order I open them. Which is bad, because I like to use parentheses (a lot).

I have also many times made the mistake of believing people (parents, specifically) would be swayed by logic and reason.

A: 

While reading all of these comments, I found myself irritated and/or confused with all of the <Control-Z> fanatics out there.

Why the hell would you want to suspend life? I had to think about it for a while and realize that most "programmers" are in Visual Studio and <Control-Z> reverts instead of suspending an operation.

I too, am hyper literal when it comes to parsing orders/inquiries from friends or relatives.

:wq

+1  A: 

Being obsessed by things like up-votes and reputation points.

Frederic Daoud
A: 

I find it hard to be convinced that something will work if it haven't pass enough testing. Such as in relationship etc. But how much is enough test?

Ikhwan
+1  A: 

I expect people to speak unambiguously. And include a reference to the context in each line. for eg, if someone says , "I went to meet mr.smith", "he drank coffee", I do not assume the second line to mean "mr smith drank coffee". As a result I keep correcting people. yeah, I'm a lonely guy these days

+1  A: 

Bad habit 1: the belief that you can optimize the functionality/usability of just about everything that you can get your hands on.

Which has taught me the hard way that:

  • Taking apart kid's toys in front of them is a potential risk to the geek.
  • You cannot optimize people, at least not to your liking. No matter who they are.

Bad habit 2: I crave for the source code of the most closed source project ever... Life!

Google "Conway's Game Of Life" and you'll probably find many open source coding repositories. ;-)
peSHIr
+13  A: 

Twenty years ago, when i did a lot of assembly programming, i saw in a lot of car signs and abbreviations assembly instructions and cpu semantics. For instance in a car sign for Aachen, Germany "AC-C 7568", and i see accumulator, or munich "M-OV 8787" apparently stands for the move instruction.

While living in Essen, I saw two cars with the number plates `E-MM 386` and `E-RR 404` right next to each other.
Timwi
+18  A: 

I unit-test my wife, expecting deterministic, solid outputs for a certain input with boundary conditions.

yogman
Yikes............
Nate Bross
+2  A: 

I was frustrated today : I had a crossword question where the clue was 'Collections'. I struggled for a long time to think of non-programming uses of the word. I struggled so hard that I missed the obvious answer : it was 'Arrays'. Apparently Arrays and Collections get used in real-world conversations as well !? Who knew?

Bruce Chapman
+18  A: 

I use the word "contiguous" in day to day conversation. It freaks out non-programmers. They say "whaaaaat?"

Concurrency as well. That gets em all the time.
Jonathan C Dickinson
"Penultimate" trips me up sometimes. I forget that it's not overly well known.
Beska
That's what thrilled me about the Lemony Snicket book "The Penultimate Peril" - it's the *second to last* book in "A Series of Unfortunate Events". Somebody was using "penultimate" correctly in public!
David Thornley
+87  A: 

I like to optimise my day by parallel processing as many things as possible.

Such as starting my PC, run to kitchen and turn on kettle, prepare coffee, run back and sign in to pc, start firefox, pour boiling water, bring coffee over ready for internet news.

Also, cleaning teeth while sat on the toilet literally saves me a minute or two each day.

holy crap - i do that too. i now find that i move to pickup two different things at once with each hand. but this is also as a side affect of the additional coordination ive gotten for training martial arts for 6 years.
louism
I do this all the time,
dr. evil
Does not seem to be a _bad_ habit
mafutrct
I do this all the time ... and sometimes I catch myself thinking "while I'm here / doing this, what else can I do/carry"
Rekreativc
Haha. Yes! And when I send email I feel like the other people are my background processes. :-)
Thomas
Context switching will kill your performance though man ;)
DoctaJonez
I do this all the time, except things tend to finish all at once, especially when I'm cooking. The toast pops out of the toaster right when my eggs are getting close to burning, and my tea is finished steeping.
Nick Lewis
Not bad at all. Not at all. Eg. brushing teeth in the shower. FTW! ;-)
peSHIr
I do that too but sometime I tend to forget about the first thing I started, e.g. Start cooking something, go read something in the mean time and then forget about the food...
Franck Mesirard
@Nick We share this process... I like the the way all three things are cooked and ready to consume at the same time... even restaurants can't do this right..
Hardy
Those new automated checkouts at stores like Tesco and Sainsbury’s drive me nuts because I can’t pick up two items (one with each hand) and scan them. It expects me to put each item down before scanning the next. Infuriating.
Timwi
+2  A: 

wondering why alt-tab doesn't magically transport me to the kitchen when i need a cup of tea.

A: 

When my GF picked our last license plate number, she took 512. Me: "Yay! power of 2." She: "I took it because the sum of digits is 8 -- a lucky number." conclusion: no matter how damaged you are, it can all work out.

+1  A: 

I have started to develop a problem communicating with people who do not deal in logic on a daily basis. It really grates me, because I see the supreme inferiority in them (not inferior to me, but inferior to people who can think).

I have a tendency to believe that ideas are either right or wrong, and most of my friends who are programmers tend to understand and communicate that way as well.

If you say you like x, and I say that I dislike x for reason y, and your brain explodes and you cannot continue conversation, you need to learn to think.

Joel McCracken
A: 

After having worked for over a week with an issue concerning Time Servers (you know, those things that put your PC Clock in sync), I went to the kitchen, looked at the microwave oven clock, noticed it to be ten minutes late, the first thing to cross my mind was 'I wonder how could I activate the NSTP server on this thing'.

Manuel Ferreria
A: 

I try to refactor everything.

+1  A: 

Apparently, I use language differently from other people. I once gave a talk on programming, and it took me all afternoon to figure out why people were sniggering every time I mentioned the use of some public property as a means to expose a class' private members.

Kramii
A: 

Not sure if this would qualify as a bad habit or not but I always have the urge to log everything that happens. I now obsessively take notes during conversations irl just in case I need to examine the logs later.

+6  A: 

Making geeky jokes that non-geeks don't understand.

Also, making edits to get points and badges in SO!

Techboy
+7  A: 

Lazy evaluation and Just-in-time :)

That is probably a bad habit I bring to programming... :-D
Wagner Silveira
short circuit evaluation D=
thephpdeveloper
+2  A: 

I find that when I'm really sick, especially with a high fever, I can't help but see lines of code in my mind and I start feeling if I can only find the bug I'll get better.

+2  A: 

Lazy evaluation.

A: 

I assume there's an open-source library already written for just about anything IRL and all I have to do is link to it.

"c'mon, how hard could it possibly be? I'm sure it's got its own Wikipedia page already!"

"Dude, somehow I don't think reading the Wikipedia article for brain surgery qualifies you as a doctor."

A: 

Back in the days of line numbers I found myself numbering tasks.. if that wasnt bad enough they were numbered by 10's so I could go back and insert on easlily.

10 wake up

15 eat breakfast

20 brush teeth 30 take shower 40 go to work

A: 

I expect everything to come with a manual. When RTFM doesn't work in meatspace I get agitated.

A: 

Using ocaml's typing in mathematics. My friends do not understand that. In fact, they do not understand typing.

+1  A: 

I was looking at a beautiful sunset the other day and caught myself wondering, "I wonder what resolution that is in?" ;-)

Jon
+5  A: 

I find if I'm in the middle of a big project, I'm working on it whenever my mind isn't focused on something else. It just becomes my default state, even if I'm not anywhere near a computer. It's gotten to the point where I sometimes really have to concentrate to hold a conversation.

Shawn Craver
I have that problem too - it drives my wife nuts: "Hey! are you listening to me? I've been talking to you for the past 5 minutes! What are you thinking about?". I've long since learned that launching into an indepth explanation of the latest bug I'm trying to resolve doesn't help my cause...
BenAlabaster
Wake up at 11PM and realize you have to drive into work before you lose this one more idea...
tsilb
+1  A: 

Global Optimization! Sometimes I find myself trying to optimize everything I encounter. Even written or spoken phrases I tend to shorten by using more complex words. Shopping and driving are other areas I tend to optimize.

+34  A: 

I am extremely uncomfortable with ambiguity.

I always slash my zeros, sevens, and Zs in anything handwritten. I use oxford commas when enumerating any list, and I will always keep sentence punctuation outside of internally quoted sentences.

My most frequently used phrase is "What?"; it is my exasperated request for elaboration or clarification on a question that has any level of ambiguity.

Yes, I annoy even my closest friends.

Have you considered that when you ask "What?" it is not clear either (doesn't say which part of sentence is ambiguois)? If you make your question more precise, people won't be annoyed.
ya23
I almost failed a class when I kept insisting to put the sentence puntuation outside the quotes. They say its in the guidelines. I kept asking where the guideline got that specific rule. And so on.
MrValdez
I know, who decided that the English language should be improperly nested!?
Mk12
+1  A: 

I search for problems with EVERYTHING. If I don't find the problem with a high level scan, I'll begin to search iteratively (that's a separate trait... everything is iterative). This means that when I'm staring at a beautiful landscape, I'm scanning section by section for something that doesn't belong, or would make the scenery better if it were not there. This is a trait that I had BEFORE programming. When I was in the Boy Scouts, some Army guy talked to us while we were in the field, and the whole time he was there, I kept staring at the camouflaged guy on the ground behind him (a hidden sniper that was supposed to stand up and scare us later on) and looking at the speaker as if he was crazy. The speaker had to stop and ask me what the problem was and I burst his bubble. None of the other scouts even knew he was there.

I am an optimizing machine. When getting the car out of the garage, I told my wife to get the book from the house, so I could continue to lock up the garage because she'd finish about the same time that I would and we'd leave sooner.

Learning the interface to ANYTHING takes 0 seconds. I got my first cell phone the same time that my wife got her third. I had the address book filled out, voice recognition calibrated, and personalizations set while she was entering her third phone book entry. She actually got mad at ME for finishing so quickly.

+198  A: 

Waitress: Hi, I'm Christy, and I'm your server!

Me: Hi, I'm gbarry, and I'm your client!

(True story)

gbarry
out of votes, but this made LOL all over again - AFTER i reread it twice :DD
AviD
I know! I ran out of votes on the first page! I wish they hadn't closed this.
Mk12
+1 Totally LOL-ed :D
Dian
A: 

Whenever I'm at school I take notes really simplistically but precise at the same time, always look for a better way to do things, ALWAYS try to find the answer to a question (answer == null; <----Syntax Error) And I miss Command-z(always seem to screw up somewhere ;P), Command-f when I cant find essays, AND PLEASE GOD wouldn't life be great if you go Command-control-q-esc? or at least Ctrl-alt-delete or alt-f4.... somwhere along those lines would be great... I miss google too...

Oh and thats the other thing (because I haven't typed enough)

I always make stupid comments like "just undo it" or like "did you save?", "did you update everything" and then my friends laugh because there is no computer involved :P

Also like to say "null" instead of "none" and I comment my speech, AND FINALLY I like to define all variables when I speek ("so all you need to do is get [insert product here], which is like a thing that does this...) and It drives people nutz and they're like "OK I KNOW WHAT THAT IS/KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!!!"

:)

+1  A: 

One bad habit I have is that I sometimes "optimize" arithmetic operations using bitwise operations. If someone asks me what 2 * 2 is, I easily think that is 4 because multiplying by 2 is just a bit-shift away... I also do something similar with remainders. For example, the remainder of 7 / 4 is 3 because 7 & 3 results in 3 since the second bit in 3 is 0. I also count using the hexadecimal number system and sometimes Japanese because it helps me to remember what I counted more easily than counting using decimal or English for that matter.

My friends call me weird, but I don't know why...

+1  A: 

Every time I write out any maths in real life, I always do it on one line, and use slashes and stars for division and subtraction

A: 

If i had to wish for ONE thing. I'd ask for a Ctrl+Z functionality in real life. Also, Google is the answer to everything.

+131  A: 

Calling bits of text Strings. That really confuses non-programmers - what's a String?

A frayed knot without the fear.
Windows programmer
Just don't call dollar-signs "stringers". That'll even confuse most programmers. :-)
Ben Blank
yeah, ive almost said that to people before too, but caught myself in time.
louism
I call text, strings, all the time
John Isaacks
WoW - you just rocked my world. Outside of programming - a string isn't associated with 'text' at all, is it?
Rob P.
yup, i was trying to explain something to someone using "String" in reference to a sentence, took me a while to figure out what they didnt understand
Petey B
*string* of characters.
Ape-inago
Lol, this has happend to me quite a few times
DoctaJonez
If French, "String" means thong, but is often used instead ofits translation "chaine de caractères". Raises some ambiguous discussions when you're talking to another programmer (e.g. over the phone), girls passing by tend to stare...
streetpc
I did this yesterday night. She knew what I meant! :D
codebliss
When non-programmers hear "string" they think "G"!
Leo Jweda
I know the problem, though in Dutch, a string is a thong. Makes it slightly more awkward...
Bastiaan Linders
What is even more confusing is how unrelated Strings are to Threads...
Tikhon Jelvis
+3  A: 

ive become such a logical person after learning programming that it hurts. its like i feel life might crash if i dont make sense all the time. nice post btw, iwonder if anyone has taken time to study the effect of programming on people. :)

+3  A: 

You think you lot have got it bad? I'm 14 years old, and just recently my friend asked:

What is the easiest set of numbers for you to remember?

They go:

1,2,3 etc.

I go:

8, 16, 32, 64, 128, 256, 512, 1024, 2048...

umm... What about 0, 1, 2, 4?
tsilb
Shouldn't there be an age requirement for programming? Same they do with other dangerous, addictive activities, like drinking...
AviD
+1  A: 

I find myself doing most of the above things, as well as expecting syntax highlighting and hyperlinking in written documents and speech. I do this to such an extent that when I hear someone speaking, I see highlighting and hyperlinking in my mind.

+1  A: 

Spelling 'go to' as 'goto' in english documents .... then arguing with non-programmer coworkers that IT IS spelt correctly!

John MacIntyre
+8  A: 

This has actually really happend to me. I was trying to hang a glass picture frame on the wall and accidentally dropped it. And in the shock of the moment, I loudly yelled “Control Z!” Then the glass hit the floor and smashed.

Another thing, I was once searching for a CD on my desk which was quite chaotic. I couldn't find it by shifting the individual books and stacks of papers so I decided to empty it. So I grabbed the mouse and pressed the “Show Desktop” icon in the Windows task bar. I needed a few seconds to realize that one desktop wasn't causally connected to the other: neither was my desk now empty, nor was the CD to be found on my Windows desktop.

Konrad Rudolph
You shouldn't play violent video games...
Mark
A: 

While reading these responses, I realized that one of the reasons I like OpenOffice is because it has auto-completion...

Philip Hanson
hahahaha nice one.
acidzombie24
+9  A: 

Out of habit, I hit CTRL+S every couple minutes in just about every program I use.

Todd
+17  A: 

I don't trust computers.

ahoka
+1: I don't trust programs nor programmers.
voyager
@voyager: Then why are you on SO? ;)
Sune Rasmussen
That's not a bad habit.
Marcus Downing
+4  A: 

I wanted to try a 'psychology trick' of analyzing a tree drawn by a person, e.g. if it has roots, branches, leaves, a horizon, fruits, etc., on a group of computer science student colleagues at my university. I asked one of my colleagues to draw a tree so I can analyze it. He drew a binary tree. Apparently, he wasn't paying attention to my explanation and misunderstood me or he was truly a computer scientist.

I find this really only analyzes how well of an art education they've had.
Ape-inago
+269  A: 

I temporize way too much in conversation. Things that anyone else would say as fact, I will still throw a "probably" or "perhaps" on, because I know there could always be that one edge case where a meteor strikes my neighborhood and I wouldn't after all be able to make it out that day to Thanksgiving dinner.

T.E.D.
argh yes I do this all the time!! Just don't do that to a "Do you love me?" question ;)
Matt Rogish
I do that (almost) all the time too! ;-)
peSHIr
Haha, i do exactly the same :)
Darth
public const bool doYouLoveMe = true;
Mike Robinson
It;s really a BIG problem when you talk like that to your significant other...
voyager
I wish I could upvote this 1000 times. I do this with almost every statement I make :-P Makes me seem non-committal about everything.
Jamie Penney
edge case! Don't know about you having bad programming habits but you ( PROBABLY ;) ) have OCD.
Ingenutrix
This drives my girlfriend crazy. For example recently we were flying somewhere (she is very afraid of flying) and she asked "do you think the plane will crash?". My response: "No, we'll probably be ok".
tj111
@Ingenutrix: I almost certianly do not! :-)
T.E.D.
I've had discussions like this with clients, too. "It should work now." "Are you sure?" "Pretty much." "Will it work, then?" "It should." "But will it?" etc etc. Why do people always expect absolutes? It's idiotic to make absolute statements in matters of probability. If I wasn't aware of the chance of things going boom, I wouldn't be much of a programmer. People who make absolute commitments like this are also people who will be dumbfounded when something goes wrong.
Alan
My personal verbal tic is starting sentences with "I believe".
MiffTheFox
I didn't realize I had this problem until my wife said "Promise me we won't ever get divorced" and though I don't remember my exact words, it was something to the effect of "I'm not planning on divorcing you, and I don't think it's likely."I can't see the future, so I couldn't promise, but she wasn't a fan of that answer...
rwmnau
I usually do it too, in the general sense that I perceive you to mean by your likely-typed statement.
Greg D
@Alan Try saying, "I'm certain that I believe it will work." Your belief may not be that it's a 100% certainty but you are 100% certain that you believe it _may_ work. They hear "certain" and to most people (non-programmers) a belief is the same as a hard fact.
Kelly French
Ugh, it took me years to get rid of that habit (outside work.) It only finally went away when I realized that not every conversation is a logical one, so not every sentence needs to be a tautology. Some conversations are based on an emotional language, and it's just unfortunate that they are both expressed in English (or whatever you speak.)
scraimer
My girlfriend gets mad at me because I refuse to say I'm sure about something, unless I can in fact be fully 100% certain of it. And I'm an idealist, so I don't think there's anything I CAN be 100% certain of..
Nick Lewis
Use exceptions. The expected outcome will happen out *unless* n exception rises. Now beware that your GF's exception managment is 1. log in high-capacity storage device for future reference 2. throw it to upper level.
streetpc
This is just the sign of an experienced programmer or engineer.
Scott Whitlock
I feel the same way and I do it a lot, but I would probably add the word "probably" in there...
Nate Bross
Funny how this is about not specifying absolutes, while another answer talks about being annoyed that.
Mk12
This cost me money once. After a car accident I said: "I am pretty sure that I had a green arrow" rather then "I had green and the other guy ran a red light". I got the ticket for the causing accident. (The other guy got a ticket for having no insurance)
Matthew Scouten
@Mike: `public bool doYouLoveMe() { throw new FileNotFoundException(); }`
Duracell
+1  A: 

Forget about real life! Even from application to application. I use vi a lot, so I got used to pressing esc after typing every complete thought. In Outlook, I wind up throwing out a lot of mail I compose (esc closes the window. Yes, it prompts you, but it's usually gone before I realize).

JXG
+17  A: 

I tend to use != to mean not equal in Instant Messages. One time to hilarious effect I stated

Pedophile!=good person

To me that read Pedophile does not equal good person To the reader it read Pedophile! equals good person

Hilarity ensued.

But stupidity soon settled in. Just kidding.
Velika
Once I did this, and the person I was talking to insisted that "!=" is saying "very really much equal", i.e. "extra equal". Ignoring the fact that I explicitly said, no it doesn't mean that..
Alya
actually, I would have phrased that as Pedophile == !good person...
Brian Postow
@Alya: that would be *identical*, `===`, no? Or !!= (redundant).
Mk12
@Brian inequality != inverse.
Arda Xi
@Matt In CSS: `border: red !important;` means exactly the oposite every programmer thinks :)
takeshin
A: 

When i want to refresh a page or anything I press ctrl+shift+B (you're supposed to use F5)

When I want to save something I press ctrl+shift+S (to save all but in reality i just need to save one thing)

sometimes I press ctrl+shift+S then automatically press ctrl+shift+B

and this is all done when im not programming(using a compiler).

and now I am starting to have a tendency to end sentences with ; instead of .

and to make it worse, im just in the beginning of my programming career.

Adit
this is a decent answer, why all the down votes?
Jeff
A: 

I use technical terms when explaining simple things to people. As previously stated, when reading a book i also sometimes think im on a computer for a split second and want to CTRL-F for that small section i read before.

Not so much a habit for this part, but i don't enjoying playing games as much any more since i know the theory behind how some parts are implemented. I'll see a certain screenshot and start thinking of the DirectX implementation in my head.

John T
Yeah, I had the same problem with some really crappy 2D games when I was a kid and just started programming.
sep332
+1  A: 

Well, when I purchase things, people say "Cheque or Savings?" and I say, "Yes" :) Not to self, must remember, human 'OR' is XOR, not OR.

Why can't they just say Cheque exclusive-or Savings? Then I'd get it straight away.

Jon DellOro
The answer to "Cheque XOR Savings" is still "Yes". It's true!
Windows programmer
+1  A: 

I was writing notes in a meeting, when I noticed that I had popped open a new sheet and written in a google query.

+3  A: 

When typing an e-mail or document, I can't help hitting Ctrl+Space expecting intellisense to pop up with a list of appropriate words.

avenmore
OpenOffice does that automatically.
Ignas Limanauskas
+2  A: 

I am always very careful when i use the word "this".

+2  A: 

Whenever im writting that something is equal to something else i always use the == operator, and when people dont use it i tend to think that they dont know what they're saying

+3  A: 

Having learned to count in binary on my fingers, I now respond "Four to you too!" when someone flips the bird at me. Some people just don't appreciate geeky humour when they are angry.

Corin
Have you ever ordered “Four beers, please!” with the appropriate gesture? 8)
hangy
hehe, never thought of doing that. Could be entertaining, briefly.
Corin
Be careful when you have to compute 2^21.
Windows programmer
Men come with a carry-bit. Just don't try to compute 2^20+ when internetworking with a Woman without having set previously a common protocol for treating that edge case.
voyager
132 to you man!
Justin Drury
+13  A: 

Whenever I am presented with a repetitive task, I don't mind at first until I realize I can't write a loop to do it.

+3  A: 

I think I have to chip in with a few others, and fall back on the whole 'I can't accept ambiguity' thing.


Example:

Me: When do you think you'll be ready?

Other: In a little while.

Me: Okay. Now, taking this new information into account: When do you think you'll be ready?


The other thing working as a developer has done to me is to completely unhinge me from what normal people know about technology. That itself isn't so bad. The only problem is I always consider the problem so simple that I can easily explain the situation. This always turns out to be a spectacular failure.


Other: I'm having trouble with my computer. X isn't working.

Me: You probably need to restart the Y service.

Other: Service? Huh?

Me: Oh. Right. Think of a service as a process running in the background of your operating system. You just have to whip open the admin console, find the Y service, and click reset.

Other: Process? Admin console? Operating system? Huh?

Me: Oh bugger. Right. Click the start menu...

Ubiquitous Che
+14  A: 

I have become INCREDIBLY impatient. Searching for a certain cold medicine at Walmart is horrible when I can't google it's location.

I hate when my kids still do their own thing after I give them detailed instructions, even tell them what to do in case of a problem (try...catch) and yet they still break my logic. I wish I could unit test my kids.

I find it more and more difficult to work as a team when my situation day to day is sitting in front of a computer that obeys (for the most part) my every command.

Could be worse though. I could be in politics and break the law every day. That would be a bad habit.

Kids make you a better (more foreseeing) programmer? You learn something new every day!
voyager
+14  A: 

I always put a slash through the character zero when I write it. I often get asked whether I've written a zero or a one or simply crossed out a mistake.

avenmore
I had a discussion with a Math teacher. She said that the answer where wrong because it wasn't the empty set, it was 0. I stopped that habit cold after the first exam.
voyager
empty set isn't a crossed over zero, its a circle with a cross that goes out side of it, and has a diffrent angle. 0 vs Ø
Ape-inago
never mind, the font that this text box writes in, and the font that is posted. doesn't have crossed 0's
Ape-inago
+5  A: 

Wanting to type vim commands no matter what software I'm using. This does not work well in spreadsheets.

kajaco
+7  A: 
  • I had an argument with my Girlfriend about colors. I claimed white is a color and you can produce it by mixing red green and blue with full intensity (255).

  • I find it hard to explain to non-programmers what I do. I just say I am a computer geek.

  • I binary search for things
  • It's easier for me to IM someone sitting behind me at the office or even next to me in the living room than talk to them.
  • I often write something like (me!=happy) , forgetting most people don't know "!=" means not equal.
  • I Look for Visual studio Shortcuts like Ctrl+I in other software.
dtroy
2º Point: Just say that you create the programs that they use in their computer.
LuRsT
+3  A: 

Acting like a know-it-all all the time because my coworkers expect me to defend my decisions or lose.

This can be a drawback when dealing with normals.

Epu
+8  A: 

I get excited by finding BSoDs in the real world.

Alex Angas
YEAH i do too, found a BSOD on a bank-thing once and i got all hyped and photographed it xD
Filip Ekberg
That's BSoD. (comment atleast 15 characters).
Mk12
Yup I do that - once in the airport on holiday and one of the departure boards had a BSoD. I spent the next 10 minutes complaining to my partner about why they were using Windows for a mission-critical service (and the next 4 hours trying to work out what could have happened to cause the BSoD.)
Andy Shellam
+1  A: 

Let my grandma believe I do pastry as I told her I work on dotNET.

controlbreak
+1  A: 

I double click the remote control whenever i finally sit down to watch "tube". Ooops i meant TV.

Steve Obbayi
+1  A: 

I'm always trying to think of ways to automatize everything!

LuRsT
+1  A: 

I wish i can do ctrl+c ctrl+v on a lot of real world things

hmm
+4  A: 

A friend and I were on our way to Tucson on a beautiful day, and as we passed Picacho peak, I looked out the open window and marveled, "Wow, look at the resolution..." for which I'm still ridiculed to this day.

ehassler
You must have been looking west at sunrise. I always think the mountains are in "High Def mode".
tsilb
+6  A: 

Thinking in algorithms. For example, I'll press the button to change the light at a cross walk and while I'm waiting I try and figure out what OS it runs and how the software works.

Also, alot of times I try to optimize real life situations by think about them as a program.

Also, I refer to complete tasks as poping them off the stack

edude05
+38  A: 

Along the same lines as the grocery store optimizations...

I tend to put items into the cart so that they are unloaded onto the belt in such a way that it will be efficient to bag them.

Never ceases to amaze my wife.

James Van Huis
Guilty as charged. Damn, we really tend to micromanage our lives to the semi-colon. No wonder "normal people" tend to think we're weird!
peSHIr
I sort items when I put them on the belt, not when I put them in the cart. Never really thought a second about it. Your way is probably more efficient but I'm more of a scientist than a programmer so absent-mindedness is inevitable.
temp2290
Why on earth would someone *not* do this?
Beska
I put them on the belt so that when they're bagged, all the heavy stuff is at the bottom so that squashable stuff doesn't get damaged. It never ceases to amaze me that other people don't do this... who wants a flat loaf of bread? I was going to make a joke about Greeks and Jews, but I thought that might get flagged as offensive :P
BenAlabaster
@balabaster, its not just when they're bagged, but true optimization experts make sure that the squishables are on top in the cart too - and also in the car. Also, perishables need to be kept together, and in the front when loaded into the car *just in case* you cant carry evrything from the car in one trip... Oh yeah, you also want the shortest route through the shop, no? Aaaand WHY isnt the store plan setup that way in the first place??
AviD
@AviD, this actually came up during one of the lectures back when I was at university. Many leading supermarkets do heavy trend analysis and plan the shop floor accordingly. For example: if customers who buy X very often also buy Y, seperate X and Y so the customers will always have to walk past Z which might be on offer.
ChrisCM
I saw the school supplies and candy on the same aisle the other day.. What a dirty, dirty trick. Also diapers and potato chips together, in a different store.
Nick Lewis
@BenAlabaster: I'm Greek and I didn't understand the comment about the flat bread. After some googling I found what you meant. I never thought about pita being bread :P
ThanosPapathanasiou
@ThanosPapathanasiou: How odd, it never occurred to me that you guys didn't call it bread. That's what we call it. Another cultural fascination. That's why I love culture, the differences are never what you think.
BenAlabaster
I always put cold stuff on the front of the belt. First into the cart, last into the car, first into the fridge.
tsilb
I tend to do JIT shopping. Just buy enough for that day.
Ferruccio
+43  A: 

Since most of my time typing is spent coding, I will say that the biggest single bad habit that I have picked up is the inability to write legibly. I use a pen and paper so rarely, that sometimes I have to stop and think about how it is supposed to work.

joseph.ferris
on a similar note, i did only about a page of writing today on paper and my hand was getting soar. im so used to using a computer. i remember at high school and uni taking pages of notes was no problem.
louism
I have the same problem. When I had to fill out the forms for my daughter's birth certificate, SSN, etc .. it was painful. I had to ask for more forms twice because my writing was so poor. I keep a paper notebook now, every day I write down everything I did. That has helped to bring my penmanship back to life.
Tim Post
I've just given up on paper.
porneL
Since this question is closed, the only way I can post the following is via a comment: Programming makes you look for more efficient ways of doing things. Thus, after returning to school after a summer of coding, I questioned the way I write. There are a lot of redundant strokes. So I decided to re-teach myself how to write the letters a, b, d, g, m, n, p, q, and r (And a few capitals) in a more efficient manner. Surprisingly, it only took about 1-1.5 months to get these new methods to override the default > 99% of the time.
Wallacoloo
+2  A: 

I consider the number two to be smaller than three, even for large values of two.

lmsasu
+30  A: 

My list of bad habits:

  • Popping conversations on and off my mental stack: I can remember precisely what I was talking about after going off on tangents. Tends to confuse people.
  • Optimising my life: I've optimised my journey to and from work by sitting on the closest chairs to the doors on the train, etc.
  • Regularly hitting CTRL+SHIFT+S even when browsing. I've even hit CTRL+Space while in Word.
  • Thinking of everything as lists and sets. When I was doing 3D stuff I started seeing everything as points, edges and surfaces.
  • Looking up on google to see if there is an optimal solution to a problem. Came in handy when I suddenly got a pair of DMs on which I needed to lace up the boots. Fortunately on the WWW there is always someone with more time on their hands than you.
  • Correcting people who say black is their favourite colour.
  • I feel a little bit of happiness when my ticket at the deli counter is a power of 2.
  • I complained that the house we looked at purchasing was number 62.
  • Thinking of optimisations. When I go to the cinema I really want to defrag it!

There's probably others but I need to get back to work!

graham.reeds
"I complained that the house we looked at purchasing was number 62."Don't understand, what is the link with programming?
tuinstoel
Defrag the theater... thats funny
Eric Brown
Actually, black is a color, more or less. It's all of the colors combined. White is the absence of color. And the opposite is true for light.
Gary Kephart
No, black (and white) are shades.
graham.reeds
Voted up for your picture
Velika
Theater..defrag.Great analogy
prestomation
Oh boy, that's basically my list.
Jabe
I (greatly) annoy my sister when after a 30 minute pause in conversation, I can start mid sentence from where we left off.
CoderTao
Ordinary mortals seem to think that changing the subject IN JUST THE RIGHT WAY is a reasonable way to end a line of conversation. Somehow I cause offense when I a) remember the old topic and return to it when the new one's played out, or b) try to use the same trick myself without the right nuance: "Do you think she's prettier than me?" "Nice weather, isn't it?"
Beta
+1 for black is their favorite color
Carlo
+24  A: 

When my daughter learned to crawl last month, I watched her navigate from one side of the room to a toy on the other side of the room, and I thought "she has an excellent path finding algorithm."

Kip
+1  A: 

I tend to start writing or even typing everything in CamelCase.

nialljsmith
+16  A: 

I assume that most other people actually get paid to do what they love just like I do. Its amazing how eager so many people are to work in jobs they hate purely for the cash.

Karthik Hariharan
I think this is the case for all jobs. I've worked with people who hated programming but were just in it for a living. Not many, thankfully.
Jeffrey Kemp
+2  A: 

I tend to sleep late coding. This is not good for health.

Ken Yao
A: 

Everything is a 1 or 0.

rIPPER
+13  A: 

I find programming has bled into my nightmares.

A few years ago I started working a long way from home (by my standards at the time). It was a two hour drive each way, plus long hours at the client site.

I noticed after a couple of weeks that my driving, particularly on the trip home, was becoming worse as I was very tired. This began to worry me increasingly. We'd just had a baby and I was terrified of what would happen to my family if I had an accident on the road. I worried to the point of losing sleep - which obviously made things worse. Then the nightmare happened:

Whilst dreaming, I reasoned that as there was only a finite amount of time available to sleep I should spin up multiple copies of myself on several threads simultaneously so I could get my sleep in parallel.

Shortly afterwards we moved home to be closer to the client.

Dan Blanchard
A: 

Sometimes I dream in brightly colored fixed-width ASCII fonts on a black background.

Shawn Simon
+2  A: 

I feel the content of the clipboard as an extension of my mind. I can walk around the place, talk to people, and then come back and still "sense" there's something there, waiting to be pasted! In my opinion, it's a good thing though.

fandelost
A: 

Eating. Paying rent.

Charlie Martin
actually, this makes sense. we all love technology, but it becomes just another part of life in general. +1
Jeff
+1  A: 

When I read books, I really miss the automated search functions (CTRL+F or otherwise).

Has anyone mentioned hyperlinks? Boy, I really need it when fliping through various documents.

Using '==' or '!=' and the likes in non-programming (i.e. real world) situations...

henry000
+2  A: 

I often camelCase words in emails and other communication.

John Sonmez
A: 

Numbers remind me of things. I just noticed that this question has 131 votes and thought, "Hmm, that's almost like 131072."

Michael Myers
+1  A: 

Can't find spell checking when writing down something :)

Lawand
+1  A: 

Sometimes I see real-life things as "objects" in an OOP sense ;)

driAn
+3  A: 

As my partner will tell you, everytihng has to be efficient.

If you cut the onions this way, it will be faster with the same result...

(That one really pisses her off)

And language has to be precise.

Can you get that? What do you want me to get? That, over there? Which thing?

billybob
+1  A: 

I hate doing anything in real life that doesn't allow me to undo or allow me to make changes after the event, mostly related to mechanics and DIY.

While tiling a bathroom once, I found myself spending too much time thinking about how I could get the job done but have an easy way to swap the tiles out for something else if I changed my mind later.

I won't work on a car/bike if the job means I could end up in a situation where I can't easily "undo" what I've just done, i.e. if I do something and it's permanent it makes me far too uneasy.

MrWiggles
+3  A: 

When trying to find a solution or anything, I eliminate all possibilities before going forward. For example: "bring me the glasses". I go, open a door, no glasses, open another door, glasses, but I would still continue opening all the doors to be sure there are no other type of glasses. Maybe what I'm seeing are not really glasses for this person. Maybe they are wine glasses, or whiskey glasses. And maybe I'll just find two types of glasses in which case I'll ask which one.

When I'm doing this in front of another person they go crazy. "You already found the glasses!", "No, I'm not 100% sure these are glasses.". At that time they start to back off slowly saying yes. I smile.

J. Pablo Fernández
+1  A: 

When I see something wrong, that is, all the time, I want to report it, file a ticket or something. "They can't fix it if they don't know about it!"

J. Pablo Fernández
+1  A: 

This isn't so much of a habit that I've developed...it's more like everyone around me developed the habit that just because I know how to program, I know everything else about computers (hardware, networking, etc.)!

Mikey
Soooooo true!!!!
Michelle
+1  A: 

I find that I want to tag things in real life. This happens most often with sections of books, but another example might be passing a restaurant I'd like to try some time. I want to slap "restaurant, thai, todo, food" on that building.

Jami
A: 

I dont know what i was thinking when i wrote this. I know i must have been laughing. Maybe i'll rephrase this answer someday.

acidzombie24
What the hell??
P Daddy
+1  A: 

I know this has been touched on a bit before, but I'm increasingly intolerant of people answering a question with another question, even if it implicitly contains the answer. The assumption is that they know what I'm driving at, and jump there ahead of me. But how do they know why I want to know what I just asked. There could be any number of reasons I wanted to know that.

Just ... answer the question, then I can decide what to do, for whatever reason I might want to do it. I've had my share of frustrating conversations caused by someone's assumption that what I really meant was big X, when all I asked was small x.

And I call that a bad habit, because assumptions are just what people do, and have to do, and most of the time they're ok. But I still get mad.

Rafe Lavelle
relax... and why do you only ask small x?
CRice
+2  A: 

Last night my wife and I were planning an app on the white board. She erased a spec far too quickly, and I immediately said "Undo!" That, and I recall once in the past reading a book or magazine with somebody, and as they progressed to the next page I asked politely that they "Scroll back."

Like the original poster, I too view God's Green Earth as a massive application comprised of numerous instances of billions of objects all implementing numerous interfaces - it blows my mind that reality is able to process all of these calculations and manage all of this memory so neatly!

Furthermore, my wife finds conversing with me to be annoying at times because I cannot accept a conclusion unless it logically makes sense, or all possible exceptions have been covered. Today she said, "I'll never live in Alabama." I then corrected her, "You mean, 'I do not want to live in Alabama.' We may very well have to live there. I don't plan on it, but it is POSSIBLE." Needless to say, much of our discussions could be much shorter if I could just let that type of stuff go :)

Programming has turned me into a social-reject incapable of having an intelligible conversation with real people :)

Jonathan Sampson
A: 

Thinking about everything first and foremost in terms of how it can, and therefore will, go wrong. Not as universally appropriate in real life as it is in coding, and tends to make people think of you as a pessimistic curmudgeon.

chaos
+2  A: 

I keep wishing for a debugger with breakpoints for my cooking.

Kim Reece
and maybe a <ctrl><z> :-)
knight_killer
+9  A: 
  • A very literal sense of argument, and backtracking to hunt for the logical truth - my girlfriend absolutely hates that.
  • I assume that everyone is rational

As to lifestyle bad-habits:

  • bad slouchching
  • being in a chair and consume a massive amount of caffeine
Calyth
Your first two points describe perfectly my problems with my girlfriend.
Eduardo León
+1  A: 

I organize all of my papers as a stack. It looks unorganized to others, but it makes perfect sense! Papers, houndouts, etc I've recently been given or worked on are always near the top, and as things get older, they sink down. Why others cant understand why this is useful is beyond me...

Sean James
So do I ... but with two to three different stacks. This is called stack multithreading!
Philippe Grondier
+1  A: 

Is that counting in Zero or One-Indexing?

Is that homework interval 5...9 open or closed?

rlb.usa
A: 

One of the guys at work regularly says "sadface" and "sigh". I want to bash him over the head with his laptop!

Adam Hawes
Not *your* laptop! :)
Lucas Jones
+7  A: 

I flinch whenever I see low-resolution images printed onto official-looking paper. (low-res as in you-can-count-the-pixels-low-res, that is)

SealedSun
A: 

I get totally irritated when someone uses the word "I think blah blah" when they are guessing something. Either they know it or they dont and should say whatever they exactly mean.

Sridhar Iyer
+2  A: 

Responding to questions using boolean logic, eg.

Question: What's the opposite of inclusive? Answer: Not inclusive.

Opposite of inclusive? clusive.
Jeffrey Kemp
+1  A: 

I can't understand why everyone doesn't use a version-control system for everything on the computer. I use it for everything from taxes to wedding announcements.

I find that most non-technical folks like the idea (having all your documents versioned with notes), but introducing the concepts is hard for some reason.

A: 

i use breadth first search when looking for stuff in my house. if it is important it should be on top of its respective stack. i end up running circles inside my house searching the same stack 14 times before looking at the 2nd element and finding what i wanted.

rajat
+1  A: 

I get really annoyed at stores/restaurants when I see something that could be optimized by parallelization or better queuing. Imperfection in processes haunts me ^^

Marc Seeger
+1  A: 

Once in college a friend showed up to class late. As he was frantically copying down the notes from the board, the teacher erased them. The next time he looked up, they were gone and I saw him tap his desk with his pinky & thumb on his left hand.

When I asked him why he started laughing. He had absent-mindedly Ctrl-Zed the board to get the lecture notes back.

I often find myself reaching for the "skip ahead N seconds" hotkeys on my keyboard... while watching "normal" TV.
Sparr
What a strange way to ctrl-z. Pinky + thumb doesn't sound very comfortable.
Kenny
Pinky + index is a more reasonable finger combination for Control-Z. Myself, I tend to use index + middle (Command-Z) instead.
Eduardo León
+2  A: 

I do binary search on everything, it works quite well though :)

igorgue
do you do regular quicksorts to keep the items sorted?
Sebastian Ganslandt
Not yet, I'm working on it :), but Bubblesort seams to be the most natural way to sort for some reason.Got downvoted buuu
igorgue
+1  A: 

Working with other people. Computers do exactly what you want and if an error occurs its your fault.

A: 

Well, as a programmer, you get used to having arbitrary levels of 'undo'. It is useful sometimes to wipe out what you have done or to stash it away temporarily and start over. Real life just doesn't give you the chance to have a doOver whenever you want it. Sigh.

leed25d
Related: using camelCase instead of hyphens.
Kenny
+1  A: 

I always end up using variables in my day to day speech : "I am going to need X widgets."

Todd Friedlich
A: 

None except sedentarism, (which aint's programming's "fault" but my own).

I think most of the answer on this topic are forced attempts at drama/humor. Well.. I'm just being a hypocrite, I liked a bunch of them.

omgzor
A: 

Getting in trouble for teaching my nephews how to count in binary.

jinxed_coder
+15  A: 

Like the old joke about good programmers, I often catch myself looking both ways before crossing a one-way street.

Not sure if you would consider that habit "bad".

Sparr
not really. i do that. i generally assume people will do the right thing, but if my safety is involved, i assume they wont.
louism
Down here it is a vital survival instinct.
Sylverdrag
I'm from the US. Last time I visited London, I developed the habit of looking both ways, after a constable had to stop me and told me, "We lose more tourists that way."
David Thornley
I do that, too. Except if I already know the way.
Bobby
+2  A: 

I see interfaces everywhere i.e.

I think of a chair, a stool, and pants as all implementing the IFitAss interface.

Bart
+15  A: 

The phrase "I could count them with the fingers of my hand" doesn't suggest scarcity to me.

I say, "cool, there were like 1023 of them".

Ates Goral
I can count to 1023 on two hands, but only 31 on one...
Sparr
If you start with 0, you can count up to 1024 (offset -1 :) )
furtelwart
You could count up to 11,111,111,111 on a logarithmic scale :P
Ates Goral
What about tri-state fingers, also counting half-unbent as a discrete value? Never mind hand orientation as another virtual finger. Never mind the arthritis you'll get from contorting your fingers into patterns that they can't do without excessive pain.
JeeBee
What about the state of the hand itself? What stops you putting your palm up for 1024 and down for 0? That lets you count to 4095 on both hands, and 63 on a single hand.
scragar
Well you can use 8 fingers to form a byte, and count up to 256. Someone should actual try counting in binary with their fingers.
Mk12
JeeBee, 3^5 is only 243, still shy of 1023 by a margin of about two more fingers.Mk12, counting in binary is what we are talking about.
Sparr
A: 

I can't stand owning ANYTHING that doesn't have preferences!

+5  A: 

I find myself wishing people came equipped with a -q or --quiet flag/option.

zackola
+1  A: 

I read through all of these and honestly, I haven't let programming affect me when I'm not programming. When I'm not programming, i'm either on my dirt bike, in the gym, out skating, or hanging out with friends. Programming hasn't given me any habits outside of programming :)

yet...dun dun dun.
BBetances
Haha very true. I've got plenty of time to pick up some bad habits :DActually, over the weekend I was out dirt bike riding and we had one of the hand held GPS devices with us. I was wondering how many digits(and what combo of digits) are in a GPS ID#. Then I wondered what the DB looked like lol
A: 

I try to point at things off the monitor by using the mouse - the person opposite doesn't tend to find it very helpful.

+6  A: 

My posture sucks these days... I guess not sitting up straight is a bad habit brought on by programming...

Also, I find myself putting semi-colons at the end of my sentences instead of a period.

The "Last" button on the TV remote isn't nearly flexible enough... it should hold like the last 10 channels so I can line up a comprehensive list of TV shows I need to flick back and forward with. It should work more like Alt-Tab/Alt-Shift-Tab.

BenAlabaster
A: 

One time I was taking a true/false test and I accidentally called it a boolean test.

Lucas McCoy
+3  A: 

Lately I've been interupting myself when I use poor boolean grammer.

I don't think... wait, I mean I think that you should not.... It is not that I didn't think, but rather that I thought and it was not appropriate.

Greg Domjan
+2  A: 

Once I tried to explain to my girlfriend that I forget to do things because I use interrupts whilst she uses polling.

It didn't work.

+1  A: 
  • i really had this situation once: i was taking off my sweater when i realised that it's too cold and i'd better put it on again and before i could logically think the first thought in my mind was: Ctrl+Z.
  • i forget (always) that for normal people indexing starts at 1...
  • my and my friends' jokes are so full of references to programming that when we meet with other people i'm so embarrassed that they don't understand us and that we look weird ("M i know you're multithreaded but could you stop doing this and just listen to me?", "yyy i'm sorry i got in a neverending loop thinking about this")
  • i tend to visualize actions to complete some task as algorithm in pseudo-code
  • i'm sooooo precise, i'm obsessed with being precise and logical, i find lines in articles, books, people speeches etc. that are illogical or do not cover all possibilities ("you are: a) a student, b) a working person c) senior" - what about not working, not studying 23-year-old?). i sometimes write sentences like mathematical definitions - so precisly that you can't interpret it in another way, though i know all the people who will be reading this would understand it anyway
agnieszka
I wish I had programmer friends, all the people I know outside of work hate it.
Bernard
+3  A: 

Waiting for an informative tooltip to appear when I stare at a photo in a newspaper or magazine...

Richard Ev
Haha. Just wait a few more years for interactive e-ink magazines.
guns
+1  A: 

Every time I see a numeric series that is a power of two I have to count out the rest of that series up to 65536.

I refuse to do anything that can't be turned into an automated process.

When I do math I can't start it with numbers, I have to derive the final F(x) formula and then plug in values.

I never expect people to understand me so I over explain everything, even when they don't care.

Bernard
+6  A: 

When our co-worker announced that she was going to have a child someone said that it was going to be her first RELEASE. :)

Przemek
And it's going to be buggy like every first release!
Eduardo León
Just don't call her a BabyFactory(), or you might end up having to go back to the bar (BabyFactoryFactory()).
tsilb
It _will_ core dump with regular intervals...
Thorbjørn Ravn Andersen
A: 

I want ctrl+F when reading books. And even when answering an exam paper. I need tab completion when I'm taking down, or anywhere I write or key in something. I always look for closing brackets & semi colons. I want grep built in to my physical life. I need a mute button for people who I don't wanna listen(doesn't come from programming though). Ah... I always look for good indentation. I need loops in real life.... & LIST GOES ON.

+1  A: 

A few, but I'll spare everyone. Instead, I'll ask myself what bad habit programming gives to some of the posters in this thread: Feeling superior to non-programmers, significant others, people in food service, anyone who doesn't speak like a machine, and just about anyone else not on the same 'genius' mental plane. It fuels the pompous stigma.

Interesting take. I tend to agree
Nate Bross
A: 

Typing the word "cache" when I mean to type "cash".

d4nt
+5  A: 

I attempt to optimise everything (and for too many factors). Queues, routes, budgets, gym routines etc. I go for maximum paralleling of any task to get it done in the shortest possible time. I cannot stop my brain from doing it. Sometimes it feels like it just thrashes... Never go to the airport with me....

I have this incredible feeling of WRONG that there are certain boring things I have to do over and over (washing, cooking, washing up, cleaning, maintenance) and it nags at me and I keep trying to solve it...

I cannot bear any inefficency or bad design that I can possibly affect (and get upset by those I can't).

I often wonder whether I am like this because I am a programmer, or I am a programmer because I am like this.

kpollock
A: 

When I make a mistake away from the computer - writing the wrong thing in my notepad, spilling milk on my jumper - I instinctively reach for Command-Z.

Not particularly normal, although it does go to show how much my life has improved. I used to reach for Control-Z instead.

John Gallagher
+23  A: 

My need to understand why something was broken, even when it has magically fixed itself.

Common exchange between me and my girlfriend...

Her: "Hey look, it stopped clicking!"

Me: "That's great ... and now I must take it apart."

Michael Bishop
Or, "So why were you upset at me?" Her: "nevermind, I'm not upset anymore." Me:"Okay, but WHY were you upset?" Cue the infinite loop...
AviD
I agree. If something breaks and fixes itself, I live in fear that it will break again.
DisgruntledGoat
A: 

I hate it when I'm writing a paper for school and I mess up something and I'm looking for the undo command ;)

Matthew Kanwisher
+1  A: 

Trying to find bugs in everything - not just software (or at least, not just traditional end-user software).

E.g. a couple of years ago I was amused for several minutes by a multi-disc DVD player by trying to break it by pressing buttons in certain sequences at certain times. 'Ok, so did they take into account this case' and so on

Works with car windshield wiper and radio controls, all kinds of electronic kids toys, etc.

Anthony Rizk
+2  A: 

ask a person for a declaration before a definition.

Signal9
+29  A: 

Wife: "Can I ask you a question?"

Me: "Yes. Would you like another, more useful one?"

IDisposable
girlfriend: "Can I ask you a question?" me: "apparently." /girlfriend scowls
Keith Bentrup
her: "Can I ask you just one question?" me: "I very much doubt it."
Jeffrey Kemp
I prefer: "You didn't give me any choice!"
DisgruntledGoat
wife: "Can I ask you a question?" me: "Can I give you an answer?"
Matthew Jones
someone: "Can I ask you a question?" me: "You already did."
Bobby
someone: "Can I ask you two questions?" me: "should i answer (or they are void)?"
Behrooz
someone: “Can I ask you a question?” me: “I don’t know if you can, but you certainly may.”
Timwi
A: 

Last Fall my friends and I began playing NCAA Football in anticipation for football season. We play on my Xbox 360 hooked up to my 1080p HDTV, and it looks pretty good.

First game of the season I'm in the student section near the end zone. After the first play I think, "Damn, this is really good resolution." My friends thought I was stupid, but at the time I really thought IRL had great resolution compared to my TV.

Shane
+5  A: 
  • Ample use of double or triple negation in my statements
  • Build my arguments base as a chain of True statements (I make sure they agree with me on each statement I make)
  • When making hand gestures of "talking" I move my fingers as typing on a keyboard (and sometimes not only when gesturing "talking" :-\ )
  • Draw rotated smileys on paper
  • Refer to regular mail as "paper e-mail"
  • Refer to my house as my Shpping address
  • Think on what's the rationale behind every reaction or I see, this has strongly influenced me of my perception of marketing
  • When people make plans or find solutions I always calculate their algorithm's complexity
  • It's hard for me to make a 100% positive statement, becuase I always contemplate an edge case (or bug) I'm not contemplating.
  • Can't stand human grep
Jj
+1  A: 

I always write ".." instead of "..." cause I consider the third dot redundant

+5  A: 

I try to work 24 hours a day - like my computers. Then I get annoyed by the simple fact that I take 8 hours to reboot. Meanwhile my computer can work for weeks and weeks without a reboot (unless a software update comes along).

Then it gets worse, it reboots in less than a minute looking like it's just woken up refreshed for another couple of months of work.

Why can't I do that - it so frigin' annoying.

And yes Virginia this topic does annoy my wife, children, parents...

cp21yos
Just think of it as a massive hash collision avoidance algorithm. Removing duplicate entries etc.
Ape-inago
I try to work 24 hours a day, too. Sleep is disappointing. :(
Jake Petroules
+1  A: 

I think i'm most acutely aware of concurrency. An example from the other day.

My room-mate and I went to subway for lunch. I asked for a sandwich, yes I wanted it toasted. The 'sandwich artist' then asked my roommate about his sandwich.

"Aren't you going to toast it?"

"Yes, toasted."

Silence, as he waits for my roommate to talk about the sandwich he'll be ordering.

See, it doesn't take all that long for the sandwich to toast. In the time he's preparing my roommates sandwich, my sandwich could be in the toaster, and 10-20 seconds later, when my roommate's sandwich would be ready for toasting, mine would be suitably crispier and ready to be finished off.

This fairly simple pipeline optimization iritated me for it's absence, and I became quite short with the guy.

TokenMacGuy
A: 

Many times, I miss having search interface while reading book/newspaper to locate to particular keywords and with color highlighted as well ...

+11  A: 

I write dates on forms as "2009-01-30" rather than anything 'human readable'

Mark Fowler
But that's a good thing.
Patrik
ISO standard! The others are not human readable...!
Johan
Sorry, but I still find "January 30th, 2009" more readable. English uses either MM/DD/YYYY or YYYY/MM/DD, and Spanish uses either DD/MM/YYYY or YYYY/MM/DD. Since I've had to fill many forms in both languages, I prefer to avoid confusing myself by explicitly writing dates.
Eduardo León
2009-08-01T19:15EST
Ape-inago
Sometimes I fill out forms as "2009-01-30 12:00:00 AM" because I didn't feel like checking the time and passing it in. It takes me a minute to realize they're not actually parsing this as a literal.
tsilb
A: 

Not from programming, but from websurfing and blogging, working online 6-10 hourd a day:

Whenever I'm reading a book, magazine, newspaper or just a printed piece of paper, y click with my finger on anything underlined. Anything. And I may click again 5 minutes later if re-reading something!

+2  A: 

Because of programming,

  • I learnt English, typically American English. e.g. not Initialise() but Initialize()
  • I wished there was a button on the rubbish bin in the Kitchen.
  • There are some biscuits and my hair in my keyboard.
  • I hold mouse longer than my wife' hand.
codemeit
+1  A: 

I tried a few times (at the end of long nights) to switch off my monitor by clicking the on/off button with the mouse (failing to reach it due to screen bounds).

Stroboskop
A: 

I try everything and try to handle the exceptions!

L. De Leo
+1  A: 

Not exactly programming, but I write a fair amount of code to manipulate 3D objects and I do a fair amount with virtual reality type systems too. So whenever I'm watching a video on the computer I often find myself reaching for the Ctrl-Shirt buttons to move the camera around the scene before before remembering that I can't

Cruachan
+66  A: 

I didn't get married until I was 37.

(late binding)

Pete Kirkham
oh, this is a good one! not really a habit, but funny
Dragoljub
I would call that Just-In-Time ;)
alexanderpas
Finally decided to disable Just My Code, eh?
tsilb
Beware of `unsafePerformIO`, we don't want any accidental side-effects.
Deniz Dogan
@alexanderpas JIT copulation?
Wilduck
@alexanderpas: You don't happen to mean "initialize on first use", do you?
relet
+3  A: 

I find that when I go grocery shopping with my wife that after she puts the groceries on the checkout conveyor (in no particular order), I begin bubble-sorting them from least break-breakable to most breakable, and sub-grouping cold, canned, boxed, and personal products so that they end up bagged in the cart in a sensible manner and unload more easily at home. Why she doesn't load them that way to being with I have no idea... :)

Me too but it never ever works out quite right. You put the heavy stuff through first, and it ends up at the bottom of the trolley with the breakables on top. Transferring it to the car means the breakables go in first. Maybe the solution is to get the shopping delivered...
demoncodemonkey
Bubble-sorting??? It's not very efficient for large values of N = the number of items in your list!
Eduardo León
+4  A: 

My writing has gotten worse. Too detailed now. Too wordy.

I used to write concise, interesting and stylish reports and web posts that would grab my reader's attention and adoration when I was in high school. I was one of the best writers in my class.

Now, unless, I take significant time to edit (and even then it doesn't always help) I write novellas of emails to co-workers trying to explain every aspect and avenue of a problem and situation to let them see my full perspective. A brief email for me is a paragraph. I just think of everything and believe omitting key information is a form of lying. But often people don't have the patience to read my verbosity. So, my current goal is to shorten it up a bit.

Definitely a result of me being a programmer/engineer.

tkotitan
Wow, same for me - but this one is a result of being a consultant, my clients would expect these thick docs ("paying by weight"), and expect to find all possible relevant information in there.
AviD
A: 

Not so much because of programming as it is a result of continuous computer usage, but.... I keep my taskbar on autohide, no matter what system I'm using. I like my screen real estate. When I want to check the time, I move the mouse to bottom of my screen to pop up the taskbar and see the clock. Which is all well and good until I half-woke from sleep in the middle of the night and rather than roll over to see the time on the digital clock, I found myself trying to mentally move a mouse cursor to the bottom of the "screen" I was seeing in my half-sleep so I could check the time. This has happened to me at least once a week since.

+3  A: 

When I worked as an undergrad in a tiny office with 2 other developers we also spoke in "or die" propositions. "Die" also became a common way of commanding someone to shut up, or stop working so we could go have lunch (or Play Quake 2, whatever).

I mentally shift-ctrl-s when I am writing on paper and get to the end of a page.

And to this day when I encounter a bug report that can't be accounted for I always ask "did s/he try rebooting the user?"

+2  A: 

Telling my roommate that the washing machine threw an UnbalancedLoadException and getting a puzzled look

+43  A: 

You know how the label on the shampoo bottle reads?

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

I'm still washing my hair. I can't stop.

now THATS funny.
BBetances
+1 that's why I shave my head. I do not want to get a stack overflow.
vmarquez
@vmarquez: Me too!
Bobby Cannon
INFINITE LOOOOOOOP!
sdellysse
Where did you find an infinite supply of shampoo? If the average shampoo container has a 90 day supply for someone washing their hair twice a day, we can assume that each bottle permits 90 * 2 applications. If each application took 8 minutes, that's 90 * 2 * 8, or roughly 1,440 minutes of shampooing. Where did you get a water heater that supplied 24 hours of hot water (I WANT ONE).I think its sad that we spend 24 hours of our lives per 90 days shampooing our hear. Its better to just stink.
Tim Post
@tinkertim: What's even more sad is you put all that thought into calculating how much time we spend shampooing our hair :P
BenAlabaster
Don't you catch OutOfShampooException?
JeffH
OMG, im already out of commentvotes, BUT @tinkertim, @balabaster, and so many others here are just making me ROTFLMAAAAAO so much!!! :DD
AviD
Don't worry, it won't take long until you're out of stack.
DoctaJonez
@JeffH: No. He's using ON ERROR RESUME NEXT. Once the OutOfShampooException is thrown, his hair will continue in an unknown state. People will think it's funny he has shampoo foam all over his head because the ex was thrown at shampoo time and he skipped the last rinse step.
tsilb
I wish I could upvote this answer and its comments 10,000 times. I just burst out laughing in the middle of a crowded office and got THE strangest looks!!!
Andy Shellam
He's wisely using tail recursion
mmsmatt
+1  A: 

I have a tendency to get hung up when people describe things as being "twice as [slow/small/cheap/etc]".

I've also become very critical of kids' shows.

I was watching Teletubbies with my baby (8 months old today) last week. There was a segment that counted the Teletubbies, putting each character on the screen and then taking them off ( 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1). I was quite irritated that they didn't begin and end at zero.

There's a segment of Sesame Street where Big Bird goes about searching for a shape that "has four sides, all sides the same." At the end of the segment we're told that such a shape is a square. That drives me nuts.

its a rectangle!
BBetances
It's a quadrilateral!
Graeme Perrow
It's a rhombus!
Keand64
+1  A: 

The ability to question my wife has caused me more headaches than programming is worth. I've taken so many Aspirins that my blood can't get any thinner.

NTulip
+2  A: 

I think the worst is when people associate unrelated events.

Q: Can you do the dishes so I can do the laundry?
A: What? One has nothing to do with the other.

How about this... Q: Can you go buy some detergent so I can do the laundry? A: Yes.

Also, I tend to enumerate the acceptable responses to any question I ask. An answer outside that, tends to result in an error.

+1  A: 

A couple times I've referred to taking out the garbage as "deleting the trash." I've also merge sorted by length (luckily they're all black so there was no need to make the sort more complex) all of the socks when putting away laundry to find matching pairs faster.

Michel
+1  A: 

I when driving my car at night I put my lights on high beam and then expect to be able to go brighter and brighter, a nice round number like 16 brightness levels will do.

In the same way I expect to be able to zoom in on stuff in real life.

macnamee
A: 

I give instructions to people as if it were code. They always fail. For instance, Dear X, While the system is not loaded, please start processing the files for xx project. Check whether there are files that are still being processed from a previous run. If the system is clear, start processing the files starting with xxy.

Result: When they start the system is not loaded, the system does get loaded, they keep processing. Some of the processes fail. Now there are "files still processing" but there weren't there when they started, so they keep on going. Crash

A: 

Hey, davethegr8, check this out, I'm about to "grep for my keys":

[[email protected] mcintire]# sudo find /home/ -type f | grep -e ".pub$"
/home/cliffm/.ssh/id_dsa.pub
/home/mcintire/.ssh/id_dsa.pub
/home/mcintire/svn_work/mcintire_home/.ssh/id_dsa.pub
/home/mcintire/svn_work/cliffm_home/.ssh/id_dsa.pub
[[email protected] mcintire]#

Found them! (In 2 places, each!) Redundancy, that's an engineering theme in my life. I can't imagine how pre-computing peoples lived without these tools of limited omniscience to inform them. I guess that's why they call everything before 1900 "the dark ages".

+2  A: 

OK, "real world" example:

I read-write cache, all the time. For example, I have a place for everything, and I also have places for things which are not in their correct places. This caching system is 4 levels deep:

  • I have a "using right now" bin, to collect my in-use mess within arm's reach.

  • I have a "recently used" bin in the corner, because something I've used recently, I'll probably need again soon.

  • I also have a "move this outside of my room" bin for things that I'm done using.

  • And I have a "take to storage" area, for things that I won't need for a long time, to free up house-space resources.

Hmmm, that last example wasn't a "bad habit", sorry to all you literalist programmers. I'm a sysadmin, can you tell? ;)

oh crap, i do the same thing and didnt realise it. i use cache bins too. even for cloths (one basket for things i dont use often, another for favorite and still clean enough to use cloths, etc).
louism
A: 

Hating people in management positions. Broke up with my girlfriend because she got her management degree last year. 5 years down the drain.

BBetances
+1 for empathy - 4.5 years down the drain... though it didn't have anything to do with management. ;-)
Cerebrus
A: 
  1. i no longer see the point to capitalization and punctuation (notice how i started this sentence with i instead of I).

  2. i look at parking signs and think to myself "thats bad usability". (notice its thats rather then that's).

louism
+1  A: 

I think I had all the bad habits listed here to begin with, so I naturally gravitated towards programming. :)

davogones
+1  A: 

As a linux geek i often scramble infront of a Windows mashine as it is the most hated thing for me to always point and click on those friggin icons and i always search for a shortcut in everything i often think about quotes made by famous developers in everyday life and moments they would fit to. I sometimes do little scratches on my school folders of scripts and code files i think of.... i sometimes write or think in 1337....

+1  A: 

I have a tendency to think there is undo/redo for everything.

Patrik
+5  A: 

I suffer from Garbage Collector disease since I started programming in a managed environment :P :

I won't pick up papers and things that should be thrown away from my desk until it gets 2/3 full or something.

Andrei Rinea
+26  A: 

I'm always angry when someone says to me : "Hey you are programmer, can you program my TV/DVD ?"

Bigballs
This bothers me to no end, its not really a bad habit however.
Deinumite
I learned to reply with:"No, but I can read the manual that you did not read."
Muxecoid
I tend to explain them why I cannot, that is, the difference in the programming in question and *real* programming. Even though people often just start to stare at me with an open mouth.
Sune Rasmussen
Why don’t you reply, “Does it have an API?”
Timwi
+57  A: 

it certainly changed the meaning of half of my vocabulary or at least first association.
Do you still remember what these words meant to you BEFORE?

  • code - before: some cipher, now: to code
  • list - used to be a shopping list
  • trees
  • memory
  • exception - like exception from a rule
  • inheritance
  • child-parent relationship
  • colouring (graphs)
  • queue
  • container, control, form
    and so many more.
    I really had to think carrefully to find out what some of these words would mean for me i wasn't a programmer.
agnieszka
I use "string" a lot, and people usually have no idea what I'm talking about. I have to stop and think about what people thought I was saying.
Matthew Crumley
I'm bad with "string" too.
tj111
I blame computer science for the rise of single-parent families.
Matt Howells
Ok, now you're messing with me. code has **another** meaning??? /sarcasm
MrValdez
heap / bag / set
Jeffrey Kemp
I love this answer!!! +1
DoctaJonez
I've refactored my vocabulary to match both as much as possible. "exception -> excetional case (eg exception to the standard case/rule)".
Ape-inago
Talked about this yesterday. This is ambiguous between English and Programming."Kill a forest of children".
codebliss
not allowed, try using root.
alexanderpas
A: 

I tend to say words that don't exist, like "char" (as in charbroiled) and "varchar" (as in var car).

Soviut
+2  A: 

I say/write "if" too much!

dotjoe
+1  A: 

+1 @ fast food ordering, though I'm not sure that has anything to do with being a programmer per se. I just want to complete the task of ordering my food as efficiently as possible.. but yeah, it usually has an adverse effect :(

<Thorarin> Oh, that reminds me, speakers are on and kinda loud :)
<Thorarin> catch (NeighbourQQException) { }
<Zlut> door.Open();
<Zlut> throw neighbour;
Thorarin
+4  A: 

I end sentances with semicolons... Also i use semicolons in papers when i would never use them before. I excessively use parentheses too;

+20  A: 

Everytime I see two mirrors placed towards each other I wonder why the infinite loop isn't locking everything up. Is reality multithreaded?

Souken
Because they (the mirrors) can never be placed perfectly perpendicular the loop will eventually break out of itself.
graham.reeds
Thank you, Sir. You have saved me from a lot of head-scratching.
Souken
Hehe try screen sharing two computers to each other at the same time.
Mk12
The image generated is slowly getting smaller. Eventually the loop breaks out because the image width or height < 1.
graham.reeds
@graham the world does not have int pixels! It has "life pixels". `0 < Life Pixel Size < ∞`
sixtyfootersdude
Surely that is `0 < LifePixelSize < ∞`?
graham.reeds
No reality has planck lengths, as the images get smaller than this size, they cease to exist.Reality is vastly multithreaded, one thread per quantum.
Razor Storm
Alternatively, all of reality really is slowing down, but that includes us so we just don't notice it. Don't do it too many times or the universe will grind to a halt.
Marcus Downing
A: 

I wonder why my parents take so long to open GTalk. I also wonder what the hell are they doing with a Cyrix 800!

SharePoint Newbie
+1  A: 

cant spell go to right...always: goto

i cant stop.

+3  A: 

When i read an article in a newspaper, i'm looking for the comments link.

Rauhotz
+6  A: 

When a website fails to function correcly I load up FireBug and Tamper Data...

Chris Needham
I have this pattern. It's bad enough that I compulsively install FireBug On almost every computer I touch.
TokenMacGuy
A: 

Speaking Hungarian

Note: except in Hungary I would guess, but don't know

Overflown
+1  A: 

When i am desperately searching anything... i feel if there was Google search and that thing should appear right in front of my eyes.. I hate hard-copy books... i feel turning the page or using a bookmark is a bane! ...and many more

+1  A: 

my notes now look like python code

main point:  
    sub point
jimi hendrix
+1  A: 

I want an undo button!

Scott Herbert
+241  A: 

I'm getting impatient and annoyed when watching a 'regular' person working on a computer. They are soo... slow, they can't find the right functions on time, don't use shortcuts. Did you know that you can copy and paste the text of a document to another document, by..

  • dragging the scrollbar to the top
  • placing the cursor at the start of the document
  • Hold shift
  • dragging the scrollbar to the bottom
  • placing the cursor at the end of the document
  • Release shift
  • Go to the Edit menu
  • Select Copy
  • Select the other document on the taskbar
  • Drag the scrollbar to the bottom
  • Placing the cursor at the end of the document
  • Go to the Edit menu
  • Click paste?

Instead of..

  • Ctrl+A
  • Ctrl+C
  • Alt+Tab
  • Ctrl+End
  • Ctrl+V

Sometimes I just want to grab the keyboard and mouse from them and do it my way.

The_Fox
Nicely said, I feel the same way almost all the time when somebody else is working on computer.
Darth
Very funny. I don't see that often, and rarely feel that way. But it's still funny.
Dragoljub
when people ask me for help on the computer i tell them and turn aroudn so i dont have to torture myself while watching them use the computer.
Annerajb
i cant stand watching other people use a computer! at least i am not the only one.
Petey B
This is my boss! He annoys me when he does this...
masher
when people ask me for help on the computer I tell them to stand aside .
andyk
I always just grab the keyboard and do it myself
hasen j
@andyk: so you're *that* guy...
James Jones
Except if you grab the keyboard they'll never have a chance to learn Ctrl+C, Alt+Tab, Ctrl+End, Ctrl+V. You never would have learned if every time you wanted to copy something, someone grabbed the keyboard from you. I always make a conscious effort to never do anything for another computer user, even when it's taking them far, FAR longer than it would take me.
Daniel Straight
i wish i could upvote this way more than once.
Jason
Just before my first day of class at university, we had an "Introduction to Java" session held by the teaching assistants. On a projector, one of the teaching assistants did a click+drag of several pages to select the text and increase it's size. It was hard to watch.
Neil
copy and paste from one document to another is best done via: yG:bnp
William Pursell
@Daniel: Sad truth seems to be that mostly they don't *want* to learn, they just want it done. You teach them the shortcuts, and as soon as you leave they're right back to clickety clicking away with the mouse. I've never properly understood that mindset.
Ilari Kajaste
@William: `gg` first would be a good idea. So, to do exactly what's stated in the answer the complete sequence is: `ggyG:bnGp`.
Martinho Fernandes
Whenever someone asks for my help with a computer I only tell them what to do, I avoid touching the computer. I have them do the steps in front of me and if they are struggling I make them write the steps down. Teach a man to fish...
Andrew
We've got some Nick Burnses here! *Move!*
P Daddy
Really bugs me when I see other IT people (inc. Developers) doing it. How do these people get these jobs?
tsilb
@tsilb: Agreed. Even more frustrating when you tell them how to do it properly and they respond with "I'm not confident that will work. I do it this way because I'm sure it will be right."
lins314159
Road rage aka computer rage, eh what?!
batbrat
Hehe I just taught my girlfriend about ctrl + c and ctrl + v. Next week is ctrl + z.
Kimble
I almost went crazy when I was watching my girl using ONLY a damn touchpad to do all copy-pasting, selecting all, opening stuff in new tabs [rightclick, picking form menu] aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
naugtur
@Neil: That's probably a good indicator that you should transfer elsewhere
advs89
and they scroll with the arrows on the scroll bar and not by dragging it. That increases the pain even more. :|
OrangeRind
I also hate it when someone comes over to my computer to show me something, and make me move away (since it will be faster if they do it) and proceed to: open IE, go to google.com, search for 'wikipedia some topic' and then click the first result, even though I already have opera opened and have a shortcut set in the address bar to search directly in wikipedia ('w some topic') and it would take me 5 times less time to do it if they would just say 'go to the wiki page for some topic'
Andrei Fierbinteanu
Did you know that you can drag the text holding CTRL and thus do it even faster? :D
TomWij
+1  A: 

Counting units in hexadecimal makes it easier for me to remember what number I stopped at before I was interrupted. Then I just do the arithmetic to convert it to decimal. Of course, I don't do this for money... After all, I might make a rather costly mistake during conversion...

+12  A: 

I constantly type <Esc> :wq <Enter> into Word documents or Google. Nothing interesting happens, and it certainly doesn't save anything.

berlin.ab
<esc>:x<enter> and other vim stuff that don't work in those office or web stuff.... Happens all the time.
Johan
I dont use vi, but in my IDE I press <ctrl><s> every few minutes. I'm always irritated when I'm typing something in a Textbox in Firefox and this "Save As" Dialog pops up... At least <ctrl><s> works in Word too :-)
knight_killer
I ALWAYS do that! I constantly save every time I change something. Countless times the save dialog box appears in the browser when I'm typing, e.g. a post in a forum.
Mk12
+9  A: 

My fiancée goes nuts about my systematic approach to everything I do at home, and I go nuts about the fact that she doesn't do things the same way every time. It doesn't make any sense! Why would you put the salt in one press tonight, and then put it in a completely different press tomorrow?! I use exact quantities of EVERYTHING when I'm cooking, as defined on the packet (technical specification), and cook it for exactly the specified length of time.

I thought I was crazy before I found this site. It turns out I'm just an ordinary programmer :-)

Ordinary programmers *ARE* crazy.
AviD
@avid agreed totally. =D
thephpdeveloper
pfft. I estimate my ingredients... "Oh, that looks like about 2.5 cups!", etc. I do the same thing at work. "This isn't what they asked for, but it's what they really meant. It'll come out fine."
tsilb
+5  A: 

I live in Poland, but due to fact, that code I write is de-facto english-based it feels more natural to use english words in normal conversations as well. I also get annoyed when someone uses translated version of common words (Solution (VS) -> Solucja), (event (C# keyword) -> zdarzenie) etc.

Krzysztof Koźmic
I almost always type php.com.pl when I mean pkp.com.pl.
porneL
@porneLyou're subconsciously trying to avoid pain. I'd rather deal with PHP than PKP ;)
Krzysztof Koźmic
+1  A: 

When I should be relaxing I'm thinking about that piece of code that didn't work they way I wanted it to and trying to figure out the solution.

More times than not programming(and related things) consumes my mind.

Coda
+2  A: 

I tend to answer questions, that have a negative in it, the wrong way:

Mom: "Don't you want a cup of tea?" Me: "Yes. I don't want a cup of tea."

In Russian, this is how it should be answered. My brain was ready to explode when I was learning English and got to the fact, that the English language doesn’t care about logic and double negation actually still means no :-)
Ilya Birman
Double negation is even worse in Spanish (my native language). Your "Yes, I don't want a cup of tea." is VERY logical, at least, it seems logical to me.
Eduardo León
In Hungary "Yes, I don't..." and "No, I don't..." mean the same and each answer is correct. :) "No" is used more, I think.
Vili
A: 

physical problems ... on neck ,on eyes i got aches...

dankyy1
+3  A: 

When typing emails, documents or whatever, I sometimes end the sentence with ;

asp316
+1  A: 

was once playing grand theft auto and my niece asked me to show here how to use the dish washer. not wanting to loose full attention of my game i unknowingly and hastily told her to "COMPILE AND RUN" THE DISHES... to be sure she got the right instructions she asked "run what?" and I answered "F5... F5... F5"!!!

She is now a programmer so we understand each other more nowadays.

Steve Obbayi
+2  A: 

I cannot deal with vague answers to questions.

When driving in a car:

She: turn over there.

Me: where?

She: Over there.

Me: At the light?

She: No (now angry) over there - turn into the mall entrance.

In principle, you're right and she should be more specific... oh, damn, I've programmed too much too...
Eduardo León
well you are right. "turn over there" is an ambiguous instruction. and state changes should always be deterministic.
Sujoy
Someone once told me to turn left. I immediately turned left into a parking lot, when they actually meant "turn left at the upcoming light". I maintain I did as I was told.
tsilb
A: 

i some times want to debug Greek bureaucracy to find where the problem really lies.

Konstantinos
If you get it done, release your "code" so we can adapt it here in Argentina.
Tom
you got the same design patterns there in Argentina? :)
Konstantinos
Sadly no. Our idiots.. err, I mean burocrats are one of a kind.
Tom
+1  A: 

I get blank looks from non-developers when I try to convince people that only one of the Hot and Cold taps (faucets) in the bathroom/kitchen needs to be labelled...and usually told that I need to get out more.

Gordon Mackie JoanMiro
They should both be labeled as a fail-safe measure. The question then becomes a choice of labels: HOT and !HOT, or COLD and !COLD ?
Adam Liss
lmao @ HOT and !HOT
Eduardo León
Now that's almost '84. One word for different things.
Vili
A: 

I tend to over-over-over-metaphorize when I am speaking, assuming that the other person(s) has(have) the same references (imports) than me on their brains: “Yeah, it’s a Memento-meets-Matrix-Reloaded with a touch of 1984 kind of situation”. Maven for the brain, anyone?

+1  A: 

I can't make everything in my life fit into a primitive data type.

  • bool
  • int
  • string
  • "crazy people"
Nip
String isn't a primitive data type. At least, not in C++. But I guess you can deal with crazy people using structs or classes. At least, you can do that with strings.
Eduardo León
serialize them.
Behrooz
+1  A: 

As a linux user, who has to use Windows at work, And has managed to convince management that Firefox is actually better, I occasionally have to run Internet explorer to access the corporate website.

I Have no idea how normal people run it. Never figured out where it lives. Not a major problem, though.

<WinKey> <R> iexplore.exe <Enter>

Same with calc.exe, notepad.exe and a few others. But Yah, mainly iexplore

TokenMacGuy
My favorite description of IE is "The only program whose purpose is to run exactly once, to replace itself." :-)
Adam Liss
+1  A: 

Every time I see a queue with those post & rope line setups (you know... these things) I want to close off the end and make it a stack instead.

rlbond
+1  A: 

I once wished my car was open sourced, so that someone else or I could fix that annoying noise. You know, the one you still don't know where it comes from at the back.

Gra
+1  A: 

I wish i could ctrl-s real-life conversations just to prove to some people they are inconsistent and twist the truth all the time; When I was younger I tried to record conversations (secretly) but the lack of body language and facial expressions made the recordings pretty useless :( Nowadays i store those people in the "don't bother/faulty" container hehehe;

[Thank science we now have IM];

how about ctrl-f ;)
ccook
well, up to a point i just would rather shift-delete them alltogether ;)
+1  A: 

I tend to assume programmer mistakes/errors (like compilation/link/test errors) are equivalent to real world errors, like being a bit late for a meeting, forgetting to send a snail-mail letter, nailing stuff together or just doing things that might break, you know, real stuff.

Mistakes, even fatal (BSOD) in my world, aren't near as fatal as the real. Coding for 8 hours a day for 10 years doesn't help with that distinction.

Marcus Lindblom
+2  A: 

I had to make a list of 10 things the other day, and without even thinking about it, numbered it 0 to 9.

Similarly I also have started getting cranky at my keyboard for having the number keys start with 1...I think I broke somthing...

Dawsy
+29  A: 

After seeing the pure logic, predictability and efficiency of programming I am continually annoyed at how complicated and inefficient interactions with other humans are.

Shraptnel
Yesx me too, damn'd with it
Learn lojban. That will take away the language ambiguity part of it.
Patrick Niedzielski
+1  A: 

I don't go to bed when I should ..

ext920
+3  A: 

Saying to my Girlfriend "Stop throwing exceptions that I'm not willing to catch."

fmsf
A: 

whenever planning something in real life, I always say "we are only going to find that out at runtime". No one really gets it but I think they do.

+1  A: 

After staring at a computer screen for hours on end, at times I am impressed by the vivid colors around me (black, white, and the occasional intellisense colors are less prevalent in everyday life... from what I hear)

MasterMax1313
+6  A: 

Not sleeping. Oh and I kid you not...every time I type "myself", I accidentally type mysql

jerebear
+1  A: 

XOR vs OR drives me crazy.

I ignore all warnings and only pay attention to errors.

Trey Stout
+3  A: 

Moving my hand as if looking for a mouse when I want to point at a calendar on the wall.

talonx
:D I do the same at times...
Peter Perháč
me, too. + 15 chars
Behrooz
A: 

I think everything in terms of open source and free software.

I also tend to count from 0 and make geeky jokes and comments and later saying it was trivial.

Xolve
A: 

I was refining my keyboard shortcuts when I tried to remember which one turns the light on.

Gra
A: 

Sometimes i wish i can select some people then press DELETE key to delete them :D Also i want a CTRL-Z so i can undo stuff :D

Yassir
+7  A: 

In Word.exe instead of Ctrl + M , pressing Tab and buff the whole paragraph disappeared

Woke up at 03:00 AM realizing there is a bug in the code just went to production which will brake the whole shit ...

Woke up at 03:00 AM realizing that "HEUREKA" it has to be done that way and even going down to code straight away ..

Get a new cool idea just before getting sleep. Not sleeping all night since the brain runs the program and debugs it ...

Watching people's movements in the public areas ( train , metro ) associating them with debugging of the "current cool code" and accidentally bumping or doing something clumsy - yep it is embarrassing!

YordanGeorgiev
Yes, this one is very real.
Eduardo León
+2  A: 

When some physical object breaks, like one of my table chairs, I find myself thinking that the first solution is to Ctrl-C and Ctrl-V one of the good chairs...

EDIT: Just the other day I was watching someone use two microwaves at once in our break room and the first thing I thought of was that he was good at multi-threading...

Alexander Kahoun
+4  A: 

I wish i could "kill dash nine" all dishonest politicians.

Tom
That would pose a problem, they're essential system processes.
Arda Xi
+1  A: 

It drives me crazy when I realize that there is no year zero. Then we could just say "the year -200," rather than "the year 201 BC." Then we wouldn't even have that stupid BC/AD vs BCE/CE argument!

What is even worse is when, for example, people have a list of 100 items grouped into 10s, and I see 1-10, 11-20, 21-30, etc. I get very angry at anyone who does this. I tell tell them, "number them as 00-09, 10-19, 20-29, etc.!" And then I get even more angry when they think that makes no sense.

Zifre
A: 

When looking for something in the real world first thing on my mind is search box with blinking cursor...Would be so much easier ;)

Raf
+3  A: 

I always stay up way too late!

+1  A: 

I know I've been writing too much Java code when I start ending my sentences like this;

job
+6  A: 

I have dreams in which I'm trying to solve real-life problems (my son doesn't want to his homework, for example) with code. Just when I think I've got this cool, elegant algorithm to tackle it, some exception scenario (my son is not programmable) emerges. So, in my dream, I try some way to handle the exception but then the exceptions begin to grow exponentially and it all just spirals out of control.

Gee, if it were only that simple...

+1 I have this pattern
TokenMacGuy
+29  A: 

When I receive instructions such as:

Go to the shop and buy a loaf of bread. If they have free-range eggs, buy 10.

I'd return home from shopping with 10 loaves of bread.

Peter Perháč
Haha, I think you should have asked why they availability of "free range-eggs" affects the number of loafs to buy. Would love to see their face after you ask them that.
Baddie
Shouldn't you have bought 11 loaves? How many others are always quick to notice the "out by 1" error?
Phil
Not necessarily, the if block can be used to modify the previous statement in a perl-esque way.
Razor Storm
I see ambiguity errors. What shop? What type of bread? Who is 'they'? Buy 10 what? :)
Jake Petroules
+1  A: 

Dammit, I do at least half of these things!

Reuben Mallaby
+1  A: 

I can work with base-2 easier than base-10 at times. I get frustrated watching people do things with computers inefficiently. I use != while taking notes rather than =/= .

My sentences (written or typed) use a lot of brackets (such as this note here (which I did right now (sometimes they end up looking like LISP at the end (I have never programmed LISP though (Although I thought about learning, but then didn't (I learned C# instead)))))).

I consider 60 wpm an average typing speed. Most of my friends consider 30 average.

Macha
+1  A: 

As has been mentioned a couple of times, I use far too many parenthesis (certainly when writing, but also when speaking (I'll go off on a side note before returning to my main point)).

I've never really gotten complaints, but I feel like if I just had better sentence structure, it would not be necessary.

mmc
A: 

There are a few bad habits, but my favorite is: I answer "or" questions with "Yes".

Daniel
+3  A: 
  1. I drive and think about code. You see, the driving in big cities is so borring that I only need partial visual sensation to make it to the home - when something big dark is in front of me, press the break, when it is not there, press the gass. (what ? man are not multitasking) :P

  2. I never listen to my wife or pretty much anybody else when I am programming (this may be a good thing)

  3. I miss some important events in my life.

  4. I tend to hang out with other nerds, like you guys here, lol :P (this is definitelly bad, I call this forum thingie "hanging out", zomg )

EDIT:

O yeah. I play World of Warcraft and constantly catch myself programming in Lua in chat instead of relaxing and killing monsters...

majkinetor
A: 

No sports ;)

No stairs if an elevator is available - the simplest solution

Sascha
+2  A: 

being in a constant sleep deprived caffeinated state and thinking it must be normal

trent
+4  A: 

I've found that in general conversation, I -

  • refer to repeated tasks as "iterations"
  • use "delta" in sentences; "Well, we've got everything we need to make spaghetti, delta some garlic."
  • quantify the difficulty of things as "trivial" and "non-trivial"
  • describe the process of going through stuff in the mailbox to sort out good stuff from junk as "parsing the mail"
  • "ping" people to see if they're available
  • use "WTF" and "FMH" as exclamations
riney
Delta some garlic? What does that mean?
Sander
So, "delta" means "difference" or "change in". If you compare two files, and make a list of the differences, you'd get a list of deltas. So, the difference between the list of ingredients in a recipe, and the list of ingredients you have, would be the deltas, or the things you need but don't have.
riney
+7  A: 

Can't claim this one for myself. I invited some friends to a party. One of them, a networking wiz, called me at home. When I answered the phone I heard

ACK (click)

Technically all he told me was he GOT the invite, but we enjoyed his company nonetheless.

n8wrl
Not coming would have been RST.
Joshua
So would a NACK be a negative response (RSVP "Not coming") or a 404 (I didn't get it)?
tsilb
+2  A: 

I try to evaluate parentheticals in written text (like this) and get upset when it doesn't work.

Ben Lowery
+1  A: 

Since a few years I've alway this strong feeling that something goes wrong.

So I always say:

This should work, but no guarantee!

It's sometimes funny when you sit in an airplane, talk about computer bugs and you feel something inside of you (there isn't an application without mistakes) ;)

Gregor
+1  A: 

I always try to (micro-)optimize everything!

+4  A: 

In the delirium between deep sleep and consciousness I tend to think that everything in the world can be programmed, and I end up trying to solve all my problems in code.

I have several small children and if one of them starts crying during the night, for instance, I may end up thinking about ways I can program this problem away. Our newborn baby girl apparently does not come with a very good ruby interpreter.

Tony Eichelberger
+3  A: 

Getting frustrated at not being able to 'Undo' what I erased on my whiteboard.

Pat
+4  A: 

Answering WORKSFORME or WONTFIX to "friends/relatives/spouses" when assigned chores around the house. Wives and girlfriends never like those types of responses, although bugzilla is completely fine with them. I think there is probably something wrong with "friends/relatives/spouses" so maybe there should be a bug to track that.

JH
+2  A: 

Sometimes I find I wish I could debug my life (set breakpoints, move the execution point around, etc!)

+1  A: 

I thought the primary colors were red, blue, and green.

Isaac Waller
These are additive primaries. You're fine!
TokenMacGuy
+2  A: 

I'm losing the ability to write manually because I've been typing everything for so long. I can no longer handwrite except for my signature. My standard writing sucks as well, and I have to keep it in all caps for it to be legible. And it all takes soooo much longer than typing.

Also, I've referred to cities as being not "user-friendly" because the street signs are hidden or missing.

Gary Kephart
+4  A: 

Sometimes I wish I could quick sort some of the laundry, dishes, or clutter in my home.

One of my favorites was when I was asked what I was doing, my response was, "compiling diner".

Chris
Who say you can't use quicksort? Given a big enough pile of socks, quicksort might indeed be a viable choice :-)
Adrian Grigore
A: 

Worst habit, trying to press Ctrl+S each 5 minutes, even without a keyboard!

Ismael
+1  A: 

I can't function without being able to look things up on the search engine (google of course)!

Thanks for the link!
P Daddy
+2  A: 

laziness is a good thing

Nicolas Dorier
+1  A: 

I think the most obvious one for me is to use nested parentheses in written English. I'll avoid the temptation right now though :o)

Back in school, I was quite stunned when a teacher told me this was not accepted practice!
Sander
A: 

I now divide every number larger than 1024 by 1024 as if it equals 1000. Very odd.

Thomas
Very odd, you say? Obviously you're not a programmer. To a programmer, that would be very even. Evener than even, even.
Windows programmer
+2  A: 

Well...

  • Whenever someone ask me something, I give them a detailed step-by-step answer, and that tends to exasperate people
  • I try to find patterns in almost everything I see, and then I write a function in my mind to optimize it (finding patterns in discotheque-lights is particularly sad)
  • I hate ambiguous questions/answers
  • I can't write (not even handwrite) spanish with spanish characters (á é í ó ú ñ) because I don't use them in my code
  • I usually talk with programming terms in regular conversations
alt-0233 -> é :)
Ape-inago
+3  A: 
  • When I posting comments in the forums, I don't use [QUOTE] tag, instead use '/*' or '//'. ;-)
  • Sometimes when I watching a TV or walking on the street, I see a some advertisement, in my mind I asked question how it's made, and how can I made it with Photoshop. For example, Sprite logo: -- drop shadow; black storke, 1px; & etc...
krisku
A: 

If something goes wrong:
Before anything...
..."restart" and see if it is reproducible!

rpr
+2  A: 

Finishing sentances with ;

I spend waaay to much time going through reports correcting that!

Ed Woodcock
+33  A: 

I think my main bad habit I got from my job as a developer is the relevancy filter.

I tend to zone out really quickly, becoming bored, when people are talking about something that my brain for some reason does not think to be "relevant". I find it hard to find other people's lives interesting…

mikl
Nice catch. It also irritates me when a person can't stay "on the subject" when we are talking.
Sergey
woah exactly that happens to me too! I just realized it, I don't find other people lives interesting because I'm not interested in what they do or talk about. Once I was hearing a "normal people" conversation and I was amazed at all the stuff they were saying that I would never say or want to hear...
Carlo
Yes, I can totally relate to that. Makes me wonder if there's anything wrong on my side?
Htbaa
+3  A: 

When asked a question on class I always give precise, neatly packed up answers consisting of only a couple of sentences but including a maximum of information, as opposed to my classmates who seem to enjoy giving answers that are as diffused, wishy-washy and as long as possible, while revealing hardly any new facts but simply repeating what other people said the other way round. Sadly, my teachers don't really appreciate the way I do it.

I have this pattern. Fortunately for me It has never caused me much grief. Term papers which are assigned to be 12 pages long are typically turned in at just over 3 pages. One of those pages is sources. the remaining content bears about one citation per sentance. Never got less than an A on such a paper.
TokenMacGuy
+1  A: 

I notice that I apply the Rules of Optimization to every day life. I usually will just apply any silly process to complete a task without much regard as to where It could be improved.

while not dishwasher_is_full():
    walk_into_living_room()
    pick_up_a_dish()
    walk_into_kitchen()
    if sink_is_full():
        while sink_has_dishes():
            put_dish_in_dishwasher()
            pick_up_a_dish()
    else:
        put_dish_in_sink()
start_dishwasher()

Obviously not good, but I don't really have a profile_chores tool, and n has never grown so large as to require significant refactoring.

TokenMacGuy
+1  A: 

More on the undo theme - at my last annual vision exam they dialated my eyes. After the exam I asked for the 'undo drops.'

n8wrl
+1  A: 

I try to do imaginary SQL queries in my head. For example if I go into a restaurant, I'll look at the menu and think "SELECT * FROM Menu WHERE Quality='Yummy' AND Spicy='Mild' ORDER BY Price ASC".

adeel825
+2  A: 

I catch myself forming Google search queries during the day.

  • Looking at a nice porsche passing by: "cheapest sports car reviews"
  • Walking during a nice summer day: "best camping spots toronto"
  • Entering my apt. building: "anti-smoking laws ontario"
drozzy
+7  A: 

youKnowYouHaveBeenCodingTooMuchWhenYouForgetSpacesAndCamelCaseTheWords; alsoWhenYouEndThoseSentencesWithSemiColonsOrParentheses()

my $mind doesn't understand $why_you_would_do_that;sub understand { my $val = shift; return !val; }
Ape-inago
... and when you camel-case the morphemes of a derived word, such as "semicolon". I've also seen UnInstall, UnDo, ReDo, and many, many others.
P Daddy
Oh shit.I can read it faster than normal text.
Behrooz
+8  A: 

Sometimes I treat my desk as if it has a garbage collector. Wishful thinking, I suppose.

simon
+2  A: 

I can't drive a car.

Everytime I drive, my brain keeps going back to that piece of code which I'm working on.

MrValdez
+3  A: 

Not actually programming related but from IT company

When go back to home, I try to open Door with Access card... Insted of Knocking it or using key

Prashant
+3  A: 

Some times I put underscores_instead_of_spaces in handwritten text

Kevin Laity
A: 
  • Thinking about colors in terms of Red, Green and Blue
  • Insisting the fastest way to accomplish anything computer related is to write a computer program to do it for me
  • Looking everything up
+15  A: 

I often wonder what non-computer minded people do in their spare time

MichaelD
excellent question...
sweeney
yeah... i kept thinking.
thephpdeveloper
They have families. I've seen them; they require more management than most Enterprise architecture projects.
tsilb
once i asked this he replied drawing , gym, and lots of thing which i found were waste of time
nicky
+4  A: 
#ifdef sarcasm
It hasn't affected me at all.
#endif
Jane Sales
alternativly </sarcasm>?
Greg Domjan
+1  A: 

Algorithm think, every simples task becomes lines of code.

Raize Event AlarmRing

OnAlarmRing do

Test if awake return "damn clock" Test if sleep enough return "false" Execute(AlarmOff) Execute(TurAround) Sleep(600000)

End OnAlarmRing

Raize Event WifeCrazy

OnWifeCrazy do No Testing Execute(Jump) Execute(Run)

End OnWifeCrazy

Raize ForgotEverything

OnForgotEverything do

Execute(TurnOffThePhone)

End OnForgotEverything

Oakcool
A: 

try to copy paste something u seen in real life like on television if see something interesting I would like to copy it.........but :( wont be able to do it

Utkarsh
A: 

I'm sure someone has mentioned it by this point, but it drives me crazy when I can't get a direct answer out of someone.

Example:

Me: Do you know if it's going to be cold today?

Them: I don't think so.

Me: Well, do you think it would be a good idea to bring a jacket? Maybe it's supposed to rain or something? Snow? Hail?

Them: I don't know.

Me: Look, you went outside earlier for a run, right?

Them: Well, yeah.

Me: How was it?

Them: Warm.

Ack!

It also bothers me when I'll try to be thinking of a basic example to explain something, but people get too caught up with minor details of how my example would work in reality.

Me: Okay, so...say you have House X. Three stories tall and...

Them: How many people live in the house?

Me: Er, no one.

Them: Oh. Well...how much does it cost to own? Must be pretty terrible house if no one lives there!

Me: It's not for sale. Okay? The important part is that if you needed to paint this house, you would need y cans of paint. You could figure this out by...

Them: What's with all these stupid namen? "House X"? "Can y"? Those are dumb names, if you ask me.

Me: Well, I'm not asking you. You asked me for help.

Michael Hart
+6  A: 

IN CHAT

Friend: U thr? Me: 1

Access Denied
I answer `y`/`n` as in console programs. Sadly people confuse it with `y`=why :(
porneL
+3  A: 

I (some times(especially when explaining some ideas(which happens a lot at work))) use nested brackets in my writing...

Ali Shafai
+9  A: 

I nearly got my banck account closed because that phone bot asked me for the "position 1" of my password. And I, for three times in a row, gave him the second number in my password, getting more angry each time the bot told me the number was wrong. It was not until my last chance before being kicked out that I realized that, in real life, positions, sizes and all of these really start at 1 (isn't it annoying?).

By the way, I feel I agree with 90% of the answers here...

aitor
it was asking the first position. but you were giving it the position offset by 1.
Ape-inago
+2  A: 

After too many years of working on a business system under a lousy manager, I inevitably write "contract" when I mean to write "contact" and "Theresa" when I mean to write "bitch."

Velika
A: 

I feel like starting daily conversations with 0x

+2  A: 

I have found myself "tabbing in" a complex e-mail to my wife for readability only to realize that it looks ridiculous to non-coders.

Copas
That is awesome, I have never done that but I can imagine myself doing something like that!
Akers
+1  A: 

I'm happier when navigating if I'm in error by 90º, 180º or 270º than if I'm out by <10º

Nice, large, round errors are much easier to debug in my world.

Also, when asked what sandwich I want and I'm not sure - I'll usually reply 'a(dot)generic sandwich' - it's part of a old and trusted javascript libary I use and the term has never quite left me.

+2  A: 

Not strictly programming-related, but I once tried to dial an IP address on a phone. I got as far as the first octet before giving up when I couldn't find the decimal separator.

Tim
A: 

Dreaming about programming something and waking up thinking, damn I didn't save! I have done this more than once. Dreams need an 'Export to Video' option.

Overanalyzing EVERYTHING. Finding flaws and wanting/trying to fix them.

I tend to correct people a lot. I can't let exceptions go running around uncaught. I have learned to make my corrections a bit more subtle, but it still annoys people.

Being able to sit for long periods of time with nothing to do. e.g. Waiting at the DMV, or just waiting in a public place in general.

I also do the life-optimization thing. but mine are mostly picking the most effective route somewhere, or combining tasks in an effort to reduce... effort.

+2  A: 
  1. Looking for clock in bottom right while reading newspapers

  2. One time, while I was writing an email, I commented paragraph of text instead of deleting it :)

Andrija
+2  A: 

I once noted that I used parentheses around sin/cos functions and the word PI instead of the symbol in the math class while writing on the blackboard..

The teacher was a little bit inrritated..He should be glad that I didn't start to end each formula with a semicolon!

codymanix
+1  A: 

I want to hit Ctrl-Space to help me remember the name of something I'm trying to explain to someone.

Kieveli
+1  A: 

When someone uses "and/or" in a sentence it sounds awkward to me, because it can always be replaced with just "or" (according to Boolean logic) :)

serg
+2  A: 

Debugging firmware of household and office appliances, like elevators (what model does it use to answer requests and why doesn't it use a more efficient method) and coffee machines (what happens, if I purchase a "cup only" with the "without cup" option, or if I select a "milk only" with a "more milk" option, or what is the result of a "cup only" with "more milk", etc.). The lack of reason in the first and the results of the second activity never fail to amuse me.

+5  A: 

I usually find myself trying to google about why my internet connection is gone...

coma
+1  A: 

I always draw a situation and try to think of solution (in practically every heavier situation) :) I can't live without pen & paper.

Lukas Šalkauskas
A: 

i think of things either right or wrong... too absolute. i consider something either to be true or either false. either it is a yes or a no. for example, if you ask a girl to go for a walk and she says "no", doesn't it actually mean a "no" or "maybe" or "ask me one more time please"?

that's because in programming, something either true or false. an "=" is always an "=" and never a "==".

afterwards i learned that things in the world are more relative: i think it is good but he thinks it can be better. i think something is short and somebody thinks it is long. even in CSS, an absolutely positioned element is relative to the containing element and therefore it is absolute but relative to something. just like if i think something is good, it is good only relative to me, not relative to someone else.

動靜能量
+4  A: 

Sometimes when I go for a walk after a few days of programming, I find myself marvelling at the incredibly high texture resolution of everything around me.

Adrian Grigore
I had this the moment I got glasses. I likened it to going from SD to HD.
Arda Xi
+1  A: 

I obsessively analyze the effeciency of everyday tasks. Preparing a bag of popcorn in the microwave is a good example. I would put it in for 1:20 seconds but it was coming out a little burnt, so I started using 1:11 because it was a little less time and very easy to enter. I was happy with 1:11 seconds for awhile and then I realized that 1:11 = 71 and I am now trying to decide whether it's easier to enter 1:11 or 71 on the touch pad.

Sometimes I try to do virtual things in the real world. Just a couple of days ago I scratched my eye and in the process, accidentally smuged my glasses with my finger. I actually thought briefly about hitting the "undo" button on my keyboard to remove the smudge (and restore the itch too I guess).

JohnOpincar
+1  A: 

In the building I work there are 6 elevators.

I'm always trying to figure out how to improve the algorithm that handle them (send this one to the 4th floor because at 10pm there's a 75% chance that someone will come up according to previous data)

marcgg
+1  A: 

I start analysing human behavior as Brain = Processor, and I tell out my plans

if(some thing happens) do it
else 
do other

Ctrl + F a book

Enjoy coding
+3  A: 

What real life bad habits has programming given to customers?

2min 19 sec youtube video

MrValdez
+1  A: 

I wish that I could CTRL+Z everything. [maybe this is more IT related]

Irwin
A: 

Mathematicians: log is not an operator. 3 log 2 is a parse error. Unless you're going to assign a precedence to "log", then it's a function: 3 * log ( 2 )...

It's when you look at:

∫ 2 ^ 3 * 2 log x + 2 * 4 log 8 * 3

...X_X

() ! ^ log *,/ integral +,- ... maybe?

Thanatos
+5  A: 

When I sort cards (e.g. the letter cards for my 4yr old) I use a kind of quicksort - scan through the pack, placing each card into two piles (A-M then N-Z), then recurse to the two piles. I'd like to spawn copies of myself to parallelize the operation, but I'm finding that the copies are not identical to the original...

Jeffrey Kemp
btw, I'm not sure the sort method is a "bad habit", but considering my kids as potential processors for parallel operations is, I think!
Jeffrey Kemp
I would have said that was a cross of a bulldozer sort with an insertion sort. :-)
staticsan
+1  A: 

When I watch tv always try to press F6 to change channels.

THEn
Silly, it's Ctrl+Tab!
drozzy
I'm thinking more Alt+Tab..
James Brooks
Actually I meant F6 to change URL address in browser...
THEn
A: 

In every circumstance where there're several possibilities I tend to expose all of them nesting sentences containing if/then/else, and sometimes that sounds quite redundant.

emaster70
+2  A: 

I would really like a house that just needs Ctrl-Shift-B and be built.

Colin
You might get compiler errors, though
Alex Brault
+3  A: 

Dont know if this has been added yet but oh well:

I just hate it when people don't close their round brackets in emails..

For example: I was walking down the street and saw something at the store (you know the one owned by Mr X (who got divorced recently), and I was greeted by....

AARGH close those brackets!!

Arcturus
+1  A: 

I'm always pressing Ctrl+X to delete a whole line in any document except it only works in Visual Studio.

vidalsasoon
+7  A: 

Sadly, I can't play any computergames any longer without thinking about how some things are realised in code. You can't enjoy a game the same way if you're always trying to figure out how they've done it.

On the other side, it does add some "Wow, that's well done" thoughts to every gaming-experience and you can learn something. But who wants a learning effect during a match of halo?

Pascalo
A: 

I am trying to find all the paths on nested if's in real life, i just can't accept "do this and that", I am always asking "what if i do that and this?"

Constandinos
+3  A: 

I often try to get rid of change by paying e.g. 12.45 on a 7.45 bill. I'm surprised how many just look at the money, hand the 2.45 back, and then count out the rest.

l0b0
That's interesting. I've been doing that for longer than I can remember and I don't ever recall that response happening to me, although I sometimes get puzzled looks until they figure out what I'm doing.
staticsan
I've seen people get completely stumped by this and I've had to take back the money and start over.
David
Haven't had a problem with this, but people always get confused by stuff like 12.25 - 6.75.
lins314159
+1  A: 

Someone asked me if I finished with a scrap of paper - I responded, "Yeah, you can go ahead and delete it."

Chris
A: 

In real life I'm not able to find the debugger, not even the unitary test library :-(

My wife: yes ="no" no ="yes" maybe = sometimes "yes" some others "no"

How can I implement this kind of logic???

DrFalk3n
+1  A: 

I've definitely set down a sheet of paper next to my computer and started typing, wondering why it wasn't showing up on the sheet.

A: 

First of all THIS POST RULES, as for the question I must say that I think programming affects thinking a lot, and we also spend very much time with computers and internet. Somehow I also think every discipline that you learn until you master it, does a little change in 'who you are and how you act', learning to sing, learning to drive, learning programming and so on, all this changes the way you are.

So there are bad habits and good ones, the bad would be: standing in front of the computer all day long, making your eyes hurt, forgetting about doing things like cleaning the house, and ignoring external life and maybe your kids, girlfriend, family and so on.

I sometimes ask myself if we are on the "good way" building our world based on new and new technology and science, do we have to keep improving until we get space ships like Star Trek? and live a fast life? or should we go slower and live normal lives in villages, with animals and nature? I am thinking about giving up computers and going more spiritual :)

The last thing to add is that programming can also give good habits, like I said before every discipline you learn does a change in you so if you learn to order your programming code to be well structured and commented, you will also be more carefull with things in real life.

PS: When I wash the dishes I insist very much to leave them clean, it takes me 3 times more time than if my girlfriend would do it. I think that's because I associate the dirt on the dishes with possible errors(bugs) in programming, I don't know if this one is bad or good :)

Alexandru Trandafir Catalin
+1  A: 

None, actually.

omgzor
Do you mean `return null;`?
deceze
I think he's speaking Python
Alex Brault
+5  A: 

I hate doing repetitive task, I always search a reusable solution. For example if I receive 50 mails with attachments I will write a program to retrieve it instead doing 50 times the same thing. Even if doing the program takes twice longer.

Nicolas Dorier
+34  A: 

Whenever my wife says

finally

I start wondering: what did I

try

and where's the

catch

?

Treb
ha-ha, amazing!
presario
+1 to the LOL-ness
thephpdeveloper
+2  A: 

Because of my software job, I learned a few things about real life:

Lesson 1: Real life has a VERY HIGH dpi resolution:

"What is the resolution of my retina?", I often wonder.

Lesson 2: Real life needs to be much more modular:

"I have to DRILL A HOLE?" - What about the Adapter or Facade pattern?

Lesson 3: In real life, I still hate marketing/sales departments.

"You've called me twice today about my car warranty. Stop it. Forever." - As if they had no concurrency handling at all?!?

Lesson 4: Real life is not unit-testable:

"The laundry machine stopped working again." - Forget it: reactive support is good 'nuff.

Jeff Meatball Yang
+1  A: 

I tend to find the potential bugs everywhere... This infuriated my girlfriend at the time but I can`t help it... it just jumps at me where this or that could fail.

Knowing that though we can prepare better or live with the risk (however infinitesimal it can be) but I rarely get past the enumeration of single points of failures...

sight !

Newtopian
+2  A: 

I forget small things almost instantly. Hey, I know the big picture, I don't need to remember the details. And whenever I do need to know the details, they're either auto-completed or just a Ctrl+Spacebar <abbr> <query> away (God, I love LaunchBar).

Doesn't go down too well with the wife sometimes though. "Sorry, forgot to buy X, forgot to close the windows, forgot there's laundry in the machine, forgot where exactly we're going today, ...".

Even this answer was supposed to be something else, but I forgot what I wanted to write while I was scrolling down to the reply box, reading the rest of the comments.

deceze
+1  A: 
  • One of my favourite jokes is "There are 10 kinds of people, those who know binary numbers and those who don't"
  • I try to round everything to powers of 2
  • I try to optimize every path I make. Even 2 meters are important to me.
  • When I'm asked a question that can be answered with a yes/no, I usually answer "It depends". No one considers the edge cases these days...
  • I want every text to be an hypertext.
  • I often use english terms while speaking even if I'm Italian.
  • I put() parentheses after every verb I write()
klez
+3  A: 

I tend to try CTRL-Z when I do any mistake outside the computer. Besides that, I overuse the "default" word, like in "this is my default hairstyle" (and I'm not a native english speaker)

Augusto
+2  A: 

I knew I needed a vacation from IBM once when two things happened close to each other:

  • I tried to badge into my car.

  • I had a piece of paper propped up in front of my monitor and out of instinct I tried to click a window to bring it in front.

Bad habits?

  • I use the word "instance" in conversation about real world objects.

  • I get confused when reading restaurant menus which use which use "and" and "or" in non mathematical ways (that comes with potato or french fries and carrots).

  • I almost drove a real estate lawyer nuts once when every time he brought up some contingency possibility I would ask what would be the result of that happening. He thought I was a worrier, but programming is all about risk management/acceptance.

Steve Prior
+2  A: 

How about calling Comcast to report a bug in their DVR. The operator tried to correct me and say that it just didn't behave the way I preferred it to. I said no, it's a bug. It makes sense that when you're watching something live and two recordings are scheduled at once so the DVR changes to one of the shows being recorded because the DVR only has 2 tuners, but it should NEVER suddenly switch to one of those records if you were watching a previously recorded show at the time.

We programmers KNOW when something is a real bug and when it's just a preference!

Steve Prior
+6  A: 

I'm always trying to refactor things so as to reduce duplication.

For instance while reading through the answers I noticed the following:

My first thought after seeing the same pattern repeated was that it could be replaced with a single line:

Console.WriteLine("I wish I could {0} {1}", tool, item);

That would give us the following outputs:

  • I wish I could grep keys
  • I wish I could Ctrl-F books
  • I wish I could Ctrl-Z the world
  • I wish I could RegEx physical objects

Nice and DRY!

*sigh* Why am I thus???

mezoid
+3  A: 

Sometimes I try to move my mouse pointer off screen to access the properties of physical objects. Most recently I've tried to right click on my webcam in order to correct an issue I was having with it at the time. There are also many instances of when I've tried to use my mouse to point out things in the room to people next to me....

mezoid
+7  A: 

When I'm driving and see a road sign which reads:

CAUTION: CONST. AHEAD

and I think why are there Constants ahead?

ugg

Jack Marchetti
It doesn't mean that!? Sh- !!
ONi
Oh, great. Now I have to go find every instance where this is used to make sure it really should be constant. I start visualizing the city map in my mind, only to realize I'm on the wrong side of the cones... No wonder I'm going faster than everyone... Oh shi- a dump truck! OK, I suppose that one can remain constant.
tsilb
+11  A: 

Here's a situation I cannot stand:

Stopped at a traffic light, with a long line of cars ahead of me. The light turns green... why can't everyone start moving slowly and gain speed!? Everyone takes turns stepping on the gas, and you miss the traffic light because no one understands how to increase throughput/flow at the light.

... very frustrating.

Tom
Because you can't count on the guy in front of you to do that. I do try to synchronize my acceleration with the guy in front, though.
David Thornley
I know! This has always bothered me.
Mk12
My city uses crappy motion sensors instead of weight sensors. Guy on main road in front of me turns right at night. Motion sensor sees his headlights graze the leftbound lane and figures there's a car coming this way. Light changes. There's nobody there.
tsilb
This particularly annoys me at the end of the day when coming home from work.
Htbaa
+30  A: 

Two weeks ago, a friend and I went to eat at a Chinese restaurant. The waiter came and gave me a pen and a piece of paper to write our orders on.

Me : I'll have "Chicken with mushroom". How about you ?

Friend : Uh.. let's see... Fried rice.

Me : Okay.

(writes on paper)

   chicken with mushroom  1
   fried rice  1

Friend : Wait, wait.. scratch that. I'll have "Beef with Oyster sauce" instead.

Me : oh, okay.

(writes on paper)

   chicken with mushroom  1
// fried rice  1
   beef with oyster sauce  1

Me : done. (review orders)

Friend : .. What are you doing ?

Me : what ? (gives paper to waiter)

andyk
Hehe did they give you the commented one?
Mk12
No. Last-moment realization ftw.
andyk
+2  A: 

Since I mainly communicate via email and instant messenger, I keep wishing it was socially acceptable to take extra time to think about what I want to say during verbal communication.

James Jones
+1  A: 
  • Attempting to click things that are not on my monitor
  • Trying to Ctrl - F in hard copies of books, essays, or even just trying to find things in my room or house.
  • Mentally using shortcuts when doing something manually, or calling a symbol by it's ALT-code in IM.
A: 

I always think complete "enlightenment" is just around the corner and i can somehow transcend the concepts a language (think box) has, being able to fit the whole universe into it. This would make me feel really good. Turns out you are always just playing around within some fixed sandbox borders, someone made up... and all is relative and no concept is ever perfect after all... the whole expressiveness, unique creativity human mind has is not matched with concepts... like it too though to be like that..., staying confused in a good way, no bad habits after all, just ever more curious :-)

raoulsson
You've been programming while high.
P Daddy
+3  A: 

I have a terrible habit of thinking of every "search related" problem I have in terms of SQL. Sometimes I'll just wonder, "How many insects do you think are in this house?" And come up with:

SELECT insect FROM house WHERE house_id = 123

It's horrible.

Mike Trpcic
Surely you mean SELECT count(*) from insects where house_id = 123 ?
DanSingerman
Actually no. I want to see the actual insects, not a count of them. I imagine it as everything in the universe turns invisible except for me, and all the bugs in the house.
Mike Trpcic
update house set insect=null, floors=floors+1 where house=123 ; I figure you may as well upgrade while you're in there :)
tsilb
A: 

I always think of the inputs and outputs of situations and decisions.

Break down real life issues and decisions into easier more manageable problems and address them piece by piece with the whole main issue still in mind...

Kelsey
+4  A: 

"Where's your keys, mate?" "First column." "Huh?"

A: 

Sometimes I call XM radio XML :/

Maksim
+3  A: 

Talking with my son about words and letters, I treat whitespaces as letters.

rudnev
+3  A: 

I get so stunned when people insists that I'm using rhetorics, it is like if my brain works on a typefied language.

Me: "Are you going to eat that?"

"Why?"

Me: "Wait, what?"

ONi
+1  A: 

I sometimes wish for a physical copy/paste. Like if somebody tells me a phone number, I should be able to paste it onto the notepad in front of me.

Jason Baker
+1  A: 

While in school I took all of my notes via laptop. Of course I did nearly all of my work on a computer of some sort as well. I virtually never used pen and paper and was frequently caught off guard and without pen or paper when the occasional professor required us to procure such things for whatever reason.

In any event, I used the computer nearly exclusively. I also compulsively save my work whenever I've accomplished anything of significance (very frequent CTRL + S). While taking tests and doing other things that manage the use of pen and paper I find myself trying to save my work whenever I arrive at a good answer or stopping point...

sweeney
+1  A: 

I put a slash through all my zeros (0) to keep them from being confused with the letter that comes after N (O).


On a more humorous note, I put $1.29 in my pocket and thought, "I have two bits" (10000001).

Kelly French
A: 

When I want to see a girl in group. I look for ctlr + (zoom) keys :(

Broken Link
+2  A: 
  • I get frustrated that I can't do a backup copy of a physical project (like cutting a piece of wood).
  • I tend to apply sorting algorithms on real objects and choose the one that has the best complexity
Victor Hurdugaci
+1  A: 

I get really annoyed when Word fails to code-complete what I'm typing...

+2  A: 

I see powers of 2 everywhere (or 2^n-1), up to 2^20.In fact, it amuses me to see 'close calls', like 1025 or 511 and the like. :-)

Frerich Raabe
+3  A: 

Not about me but:

A novice programmer thinks than kilobyte is equal to 1000 bytes and geek thinks that kilometer is equal to 1024 meters...

wheleph
+1  A: 

I tend to think you can UNDO and COPY/PASTE in situation that entirely make no sense. For example, if I'm writing out a manual check and mess up, for a brief moment, I think "UNDO"

It's sad...

Cody C
+1  A: 

When I converse with people, I tend to scorn at their ignorance not to pass all the details necessary for a good and healthy conversation. I always have to ask questions and get their details. I hate this and I hate Setter dependency injection!

Xinxua
+1  A: 

I am looking a kind of for loop in which I can place my work(job) and relax at home where the loop doing its work.

rkb
+1  A: 

Any time I have to sit down and look through paper pages of information, it feels unfair that I can't write a script to parse it.

Sean O'Hollaren
+1  A: 
  • Counting the number of primitives in real-world objects
  • When I'm crossing the street and a car brakes, I try to figure out momentum to Euler rotation
  • Somehow the kettle boiling is linked to a callback in my head. From anywhere in the house I will go and pick it up just as the thermostat clicks

Random O_o

Al
A: 

I feel you on the inheritance thing... LOL.

I do that all the time.

DJ Burb
A: 

return null;

Oh...

+2  A: 

I often want to click on any underlined word on paper. (Index of book, references.)

Umair Ahmed
A: 

I always have to get my afternoon coffee at exactly 2:56 pm.

Luke
+9  A: 

Double-clicking elevator buttons.

Dave Markle
+2  A: 

I recently moved to another place and some stuff still is in packing cases. I'm really missing the find - name "*.packingcase" | grep -in stuff_im_looking_for feature in real life.

MrMage
+8  A: 

When I enter a pub I wish I can query and only select the women that have big breast and set order by size.

avnic
+3  A: 

Because, as programmer, I am constantly confronted with my own errors (bugs), I tend to put every choice I make in question. In a way, it is a lack of confidence.

Maurice Perry
+7  A: 

For me, as I live in Blighty, American spellings are a problem.

  • Correct in English: centre | Correct in programming: center
  • Correct in English: colour | Correct in programming: color
  • Correct in English: serialise | Correct in programming: serialize
  • and so on

Also, when typing normally I tend to enter the first three characters and then hit tab.

Keith
+7  A: 

When my younger brother was about 7 years old and I fetched him from school and we saw a beautiful scenery of the mountains after a heavy rainfall (the sky was clear and there was no smog).

My young brother said: "Oh look! Very nice graphics! (While he was pointing at the mountains)"

wenbert