I'm trying to save time and wondering if there is a good open source server that supports chat (public and private) as well as a custom protocol that allows people play against each other, I want the server to setup the connection. Ideally people would play against each other using peer-to-peer in order to not put a strain on the server but that isn't a big issue.
I was thinking about Jabber for the sever and maybe Juxtapose for the peer-to-peer. I'm good with Java but C++ would be fine also.