how hard is it to stop programming after you get off work?

Question

I just started a new project, and have found myself having to force myself into not researching/coding after I leave work, in order to spend time with my wife and kid. Is this common among the SO community?

Answer 1

I would say my short answer is, "It depends." If I have some problem or issue that I'm trying to resolve and not getting anywhere then I may find myself wondering about alternative approaches to solve the problem. On the other hand, there are times when this doesn't happen because I have to remember to tend to other things like eating and sleeping, which are rather basic needs.

Answer 2

Don't worry, you'll come to understand the phrase "Get off that damn computer and come to bed" as a term of endearment... at least, I did :oP

Answer 3

I don't usually code at home, but I sometimes lose track of time and don't leave when I should. usually, that ends up with my wife calling to ask when I'll be home. :-)

One of the reasons that I don't code at home is my work machine has me spoiled -- 3 monitors, 2 cores, lots of memory. Single monitor at home makes it enough of a pain that I'm usually not tempted. Same goes for the laptop -- unless I'm working on a personal project in RoR.

Answer 4

Maybe quite a few of us here are addicted to programming. It's probably one of the main reasons we choose this profession. Personally I try to schedule my time so I don't neglect the important things in life. I spend enough time glued to my computer as it is.

Answer 5

I usually find myself going home and working on some other programming area such as another language. I usually prefer to go home and do C/C++ or desktop style application development if I've been doing web development all day, and vice versa. Also I will use the time to read a book about theory or design rather then coding again and staring at a screen more.

Answer 6

Working on project you are passionate about is great. It makes work seem like play and you are devoting more than required since you enjoy it. It is important to keep things balanced though, as to not burn out.

Forcing yourself to disconnect from work and concentrate on other things in your life would be best in the long run. I am currently working on such a project (as I'm sure many other SO members are), and have gone through several burnouts before I figured out how to balance it properly.

Answer 7

Not hard at all!

No one on their death bed wishes they spent more time away from their family.

Get away from the PC, do something else, something physical.

Answer 8

It's not hard at all, my pay compensates me for the time I have to spend away from the family. If I were rich, I wouldn't be working - I'd still spend some time doing my own "work" stuff but it would be fairly minimal, just enough to give a sense of usefulness.

This isn't directed at you of course but, if you find yourself spending more time working than you need to, why did you bother starting a family? You could have just donated your money to some poor kids in Africa if you wanted a feel-good feeling (or keep it for yourself if you don't really care).

Your family is meant to be enjoyed, work is just an enabler for that. I have a 4yo boy and a 2yo girl and I actively try to get as much time off work as possible to spend time with them (and my wife). By the time they're teenagers, they probably won't want to know me so I'm getting in as much quality time as I can.

Answer 9

In totally reductionist terms, human beings are wired to do what feels good. If your individual wiring makes you especially prone to feeling good when you're problem solving, some would say that you're probably more likely to have trouble stepping back. At the end of the day, it all comes down to dopamine and what you're doing/thinking when you get a blast of it.

When I've had trouble stepping away from the keyboard, I've always tried to distract myself with something else positive, rather than dwelling on the the fact that I'm incapable of stepping away from the keyboard. Influx of good feelings reinforces the behavior.

My apologies to neuroscientists everywhere.

Answer 10

Don't know, never tried.

Answer 11

luckily not for my case, i know it's fun to just go for one more bug, one more paper one more line of codes, but there needs to be boundary else your personal life is going to hit the crapper pretty soon.

usually i try to outline the stuff i got to do else i might get fried by my boss activities first and i try to plan out the type of activities and how much time it might take so i don't overdo it.

because i think it's healthy that you have predefined boundary and don't overburn so when you come back tomorrow morning you're still up and perky for more challenges. as i've find the hard way when you're not at 100% you spend more time and effort trying to do the simplest thing and even making dumb mistakes that you spend more time to fix..

GTD anyone? hehe just my humble 2cents.

Answer 12

Keep the passion going, don't burn out !

its all about moderation. I try to limit the number of hours per night after the office to my own projects but don't neglect your family or you will regret it in the future.

Answer 13

Am I the only one that codes after work. I do have to say that I choose what I work on. I hardly ever "code" work related stuff at home. I will however play with the chip or technology so I can get familiar with it. This way I will be ready to be productive when I get back to work. I do fun stuff at home though. Like right now I am using an 8051 to create a PWM output. This gets me familiar with the chip but really don't need a PWM for work. When I'm not coding I like programming related podcast and books.

Of course there are times when I do however break away and spend time with my lovely wife or WoW (World of Warcraft)!

Answer 14

It's very hard for me not to program at home. I don't get to program enough at work, and on days when it's not pleasant to go play outside, programming is the most fun I can have with my clothes on!

Answer 15

Yes, I know what you're saying. Especially, back when I was a newbie it was pretty hard to pull away. Now that I've been at it a few years I've become a bit more balanced. Tomorrow is another day and things can wait. At least for me having a more (or less) balanced life actually makes coding more fun (and productive) now than ever.

That said, balance is always a struggle. From time to time I'll spent half an hour fighting with myself to break free of the keyboard and go home. But when I get home and my kids (6 and 3) come running up screaming "daddy's home" I'm always glad I left the work behind.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 16

Remember that you just started a project - it's easier to be interested in new problems while they're still new. That should settle down after the fun problems have been solved.

Answer 17

Especially at the start of a project, I find it very hard to leave my work at the office. I have learned that most of the time, work will wait until tomorrow. Unless you have pressing deadlines then I guess you will have to work at home as well as at the office. And some time I just research things at home so that I am that much ahead for the next day.

Try to have a balance of home life and work life. In my opinion it is OK to work hard for a few day's or a week. But any more than that and you can get burned out, And the wife doesn't like it either.

Answer 18

I have a hard time letting go. It's a matter of being in the zone. When you're in the zone, you are infinitely more productive so you want to keep going and get as much done as you can. In an ideal world I would work for a few days non stop and then take a few days off.

Answer 19

Depends on the project. I have a side project I'm working on that I just can't seem to get motivated enough to work on. I should have had it near done by now.

If it's something I'm excited about, I'll sometimes forget to leave work until about an hour or two after I should have.