I am managing both JAVA and .NET teams and would like to know if there are any known historical jokes that I can pull against either of them. If not jokes, it can be some nice stories about each of them.
I am mainly looking to use these as a way to bond both the teams without stepping on the negatives.
I hope this is not going to be closed as I am mainly looking for some stuff that I can use in my presentations for both teams.
The .NET programmers will find Java generics hilarious! Unless they have to do any Java programming themselves. It's not so funny then.
I know of a couple Java jokes off the top of my head. Actually one is a quote:
"If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution." Robert Sewell
One of my favorite Java jokes is:
"Saying Java is better because it works on all platforms is like saying anal sex is better because it works on both genders".
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, “I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.”
“Very well,” says God, “let us see if Jesus has fared any better.”
Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, “B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus’ program is intact! How did he do it?”
God chuckles, “Everybody knows… Jesus saves.
One Programmer was rescued from deep waters on a stormy day. He was asked by the rescuers why didnt he notice the Warnings. The programmer replied, "We Programmers always ignore warnings".